It's not very popular.

mikerios
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Nov 29, 2012 mikerios commented on Savage Love.
> @fakedansavage says polyamory a "choice," not an "identity." Where
> have we heard that argument before? Meet the new bigots, same as the
> old.
>
> @lilyldodge
>
> If all people are naturally nonmonogamous-a point I've made about 10
> million times-

But one that a lot of folks, myself included, would disagree with.

> then from my perspective, polyamory and monogamy are
> relationship models, not sexual orientations.

As long as you present it as *your* perspective, then there is no argument.
However, as other folks have pointed out, it isn't a question of *sexual*
orientation, but of *relationship* orientation.

> (And if poly and
> monogamy are sexual orientations, Lily, wouldn't going solo have to be
> considered one, too?) That was my point. Poly can be central to
> someone's sexual self-conception, and it can be hugely important, but
> I don't think it's an orientation in the same way that gay, straight,
> or bisexual are orientations.

It is not an orientation in the same way, but to my mind, it is an
orientation entirely *analogous* to sexual orientation. Just as there are
personality orientations toward Introversion/Extraversion (among many other
polarity characteristics-- see Myers-Briggs for more examples).

> People can and do, of course, identify
> as poly. But is poly something anyone can do

Not from what I have seen. I know many people that seem completely content with one intimate relationship, and even struggle some to find the energy for that. They have *no* interest in anything further.

> or something some people are? I come down on the "do" side.

I think there are folks who have the choice. Perhaps you are one of them. But there are those of us who would be poly even if we had *no* relationships, and others that I know who are as monogamous as a prairie vole, even if they aren't currently in a relationship.

I come down on the side that just as some folks are gay, some straight, and some bisexual, there are folks who are poly, folks who are mono, and folks who can do either comfortably.

> Lily clearly disagrees.

Lilly knows whereof she speaks.

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Nov 29, 2012 mikerios joined My Stranger Face
Nov 29, 2012 mikerios joined My Stranger Face
Nov 29, 2012 mikerios commented on Savage Love.
> @fakedansavage says polyamory a "choice," not an "identity." Where
> have we heard that argument before? Meet the new bigots, same as the
> old.
>
> @lilyldodge
>
> If all people are naturally nonmonogamous-a point I've made about 10
> million times-

But one that a lot of folks, myself included, would disagree with.

> then from my perspective, polyamory and monogamy are
> relationship models, not sexual orientations.

As long as you present it as *your* perspective, then there is no argument.
However, as other folks have pointed out, it isn't a question of *sexual*
orientation, but of *relationship* orientation.

> (And if poly and
> monogamy are sexual orientations, Lily, wouldn't going solo have to be
> considered one, too?) That was my point. Poly can be central to
> someone's sexual self-conception, and it can be hugely important, but
> I don't think it's an orientation in the same way that gay, straight,
> or bisexual are orientations.

It is not an orientation in the same way, but to my mind, it is an
orientation entirely *analogous* to sexual orientation. Just as there are
personality orientations toward Introversion/Extraversion (among many other
polarity characteristics-- see Myers-Briggs for more examples).

> People can and do, of course, identify
> as poly. But is poly something anyone can do

Not from what I have seen. I know many people that seem completely content with one intimate relationship, and even struggle some to find the energy for that. They have *no* interest in anything further.

> or something some people are? I come down on the "do" side.

I think there are folks who have the choice. Perhaps you are one of them. But there are those of us who would be poly even if we had *no* relationships, and others that I know who are as monogamous as a prairie vole, even if they aren't currently in a relationship.

I come down on the side that just as some folks are gay, some straight, and some bisexual, there are folks who are poly, folks who are mono, and folks who can do either comfortably.

> Lily clearly disagrees.

Lilly knows whereof she speaks.

Michael Rios
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