commented on SLLOTD: Fully-Clothed Fantasy
@HCIM, midwestkittie does, in fact, live in the Midwest and is overdue for a trip to the Twin Cities. If your and your man are relatively attractive and nice midwestkittie is more than willing to help you out. Cuz Midwesterners just want to help.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Morality of a Dungeon
Another way of looking at this occurs to me: why do I have to have so goddamn much money to be into BDSM??!
I'm really skeptical of needing a lot of outfits, accessories, toys, or otherwise spending a lot of money to have sex. Are there BDSM co-ops? That seems more democratic and inclusive. I'd also be more interested in porn that were cooperatively produced.
Capitalism out of my vagina!!
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Insane Demands
I'm gonna go on the record as saying this doesn't seem crazy to me.
Why is it shockingly bad to invade the wife's privacy by asking for and viewing the three photos, but not shockingly bad (and craaaazy!) to have the sexytimes with the husband?
But since the photos are her "deal breaker," guess she'll move on.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Label Me
The statement "I usually don't care much for labels in any aspect of life" got on my nerves. Well, duh. Who really does? Some people are labelled--like blacks and women--and there's not a whole hell of a lot them saying "I usually don't care much for labels in any aspect of life" will do to change it for them or be taken at all seriously.
Also: "play with herself" is totally squicky. He "masturbate[s]" or "perform[s]," but the female viewer gets "play with herself?" Ewww! Not even "touch herself?" Was that on purpose??
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Wipe Out
What @31 said.
If the LW were female and the quasi-famous person male, there's no way Dan Savage would have given that answer. We'd all know what it means when someone you hook up with doesn't return your calls/texts. Right?
We would not be having this discussion.
So, maybe the LW should pretend he's a woman and the quasi-famous person is a male and behave accordingly...
Dec 8, 2012
commented on Savage Love
@sissoucat & @Hyacinth, thank you for the interesting posts. I have to say I'm glad Dan sparked this conversation with his column. I generally find the Savage Love comments to be respectful and worth reading.
I have been thinking about a premise for a short story that centers on a polyamorous relationship for a while now. And people who write fiction can (or should) be obsessed with research and accurate portrayals.
Also, how does one bring up the possibility of non-monogamy with someone she might date?
Dec 1, 2012
commented on Savage Love
I've thought of the same thing myself: of having sex with men I like, respect, and cherish from time to time in a context friendship. Is this just "dating a bunch of guys?"
I guess I think in terms of "non-monogamy" because I was traumatized/annoyed by the word "polyamory" in the 1990s by preternaturally smug "poly kids" in college. (An interesting thing about polyamory is that I've heard of poly people telling other poly people "they're not doing polyamory the right way.")
Maybe we're just starting to sort things out now: non-monogamy, open marriage, polyamory. Maybe it's that polyamory means different things to each individual, like bisexuality.