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May 20, 2015 girldetectiveagency commented on Savage Love.
I also sometimes see guys posting "no drama" or "if your role model is Kim Kardashian, move along".

Now I don't like drama, and my role model's Emma Goldman, but I will never ever reply to a guy like that because they're almost certainly a sexist jerk.

Even something like "no racists" makes you look immature since, yeah, obviously no racists, but what's your purpose in putting on your profile?

Blanket statements never make you look good. (heh)
Mar 25, 2014 girldetectiveagency commented on Savage Love.
I'm sure this discussion is over, but I'd like to add that I personally don't mind a partner watching porn - but I do mind lying, and not keeping agreements made.

And it's blurry - I would be really uncomfortable if my partner's porn was with a camgirl, for example. Like where they were actually communicating with each other.

My point was not about *porn* it was about the principal:

Everyone gets to set boundaries, and you either agree to them, change their mind, or leave. You don't agree to them then go behind their back and lie.

And if *nobody* lied about watching porn, then maybe the porn-restricting people would discover how few partners are available to them, and learn to relax about it.

And this idea that "All men watch porn" is just blatant bullshit. I mean logically. There is literally nothing that "all men" do. Or "all women" or "all Chinese people" or "all gay people".

The most common examples that I've met are men who were addicted to porn, using it to really unhealthy degrees that consumed their life, and so went cold turkey because it was the only way they could.
Mar 23, 2014 girldetectiveagency commented on Savage Love.
It didn't let me finish...

I don't understand why Dan Savage/other think it is okay to ignore/lie about a boundary you disagree with. Many people think monogamy is a ridiculous restriction, but they still don't get to lie about it. They just have to date people who don't have that restriction.
Why is porn any different?
Mar 23, 2014 girldetectiveagency commented on Savage Love.
Everyone always says porn is not infidelity. But surely every couple gets to decide for themselves what infidelity is?
Maybe somebody thinks that sex is not infidelity, but staying the night is. If you really want to stay the night with people you sleep with, then don't get involved with that person.

It is okay to set any boundary you like, including 'no porn', and it is okay to leave anybody whose boundaries are too restrictive for you.
Dec 4, 2012 girldetectiveagency commented on Savage Love.
Those links have been cut off, probably because it looks like spam to be adding links to a comment, but you can google it for yourself Tom Cat. Which it's generally a good idea to do before you correct someone anyway.
Dec 4, 2012 girldetectiveagency joined My Stranger Face
Dec 4, 2012 girldetectiveagency commented on Savage Love.
Orientate is a perfectly correct alternative to orient.…

VAG-inal is also a perfectly correct pronunciation, even though my preference is also for vaGINal.…