Dec 10, 2012
commented on Savage Love
Dan, I think one very important thing that this discussion underscores and that all of your sagacious advice has convinced me is this: sexual preference - whom, how many, how often, doing what, where, etc - exists in an n-dimensional space. The point, line or subspace in which one's sexual preference lies might be considered someone's sexual "niche", if you will. Someone's sexual niche is determined by a uniquely individual suite of innate and environmental factors as well as that person's choices. No sexual niche is wrong, merely a different sexual niche than another person. Therefore, whenever someone wants advice, I think it is important to keep in mind what that person's sexual niche is and tailor your advice to his/her/their sexual niche. I also believe, however, that it is important for the advice seeker to understand the situation in the context of his/her/their partner(s)' sexual niche. 99.9% of the time, Dan, I think you do an excellent job of this. I really appreciate your honesty and openness in your column and your general respect for all sexual niches in niche-space. Your advice has certainly made me more perceptive of my partner's sexual niche, more in touch with my own sexuality and more committed to building a healthy and enjoyable sexual and emotional experience for both my partner and me. So while you may have gotten lambasted this week, I think overall you show deference for everyone's sexual niche and provide the best sex advice out there. I would like to extend my deepest gratitude for what your advice has done to enhance my sex life and my relationships.