Dec 16, 2012 Rev joined My Stranger Face
Dec 16, 2012 Rev joined My Stranger Face
Dec 16, 2012 Rev commented on I Am Adam Lanza's Mother.
Thank you for posting this. It is not easy to open up on a subject so close to the heart as one's own. Our children are our pride and joy and our legacy.
This could very well be my story. I also have a son with mental illness. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, Autisim, OCD, etc. A long list of accronyms that do nothing but cause people to look at him and turn the other direction for lack of anything better to say.
He was in and out of court 3 times by the time he was 10. At school their answer was to move him from program to program because they could not handle him. When he reached the end of those moves, they would lock him in a cement closet during his melt downs to protect the teachers and the other children. Then they would call the police and have him suspended from school for 3 days. He had no remorse and did not understand any of this. Our Community Programs paid to have a specialist brought in to the class room to observe him and give recommendations but the teachers and administration did not respect those recommendations and closet confinement continued. We had to hold him back from being advanced to the middle school because he did not tolerate large group environments and knew that this would truly put him 'over the edge.'
When he was 9, he pulled out a butcher knife and threatened to kill himself and his 17 year old brother was able to wrestle it away, miraculously without anyone getting even a scratch. 2 days later, I was finally able to get him admitted to a mental health unit at a hospital out of town but not before jumping through hoops. We have no mental health facility or immediate care for mental health issues where we live and can not get in to another county facility without all the red tape and questions, some of which you described.
He injured and destroyed people and belongings for years and no one would do anything about it. He set my livingroom on fire 3 times. He is smart and devious and creative and with 5 children and being a working mom, it was impossible to keep up with him all the time. As a family we needed help. Our lives rotated around him and he learned how to use his behaviors as his advantage at a very early age. Every one was scared of him.
I've been down your road many times and your post gave me the chills remembering what it was like. My son will turn 21 in January. Fortunately for him, we were able to get him help, but it has not fixed the issue of mental illness. Last night when he threatened to break the dogs neck because he was angry with the dog at the time, my mind jumped back 10 years to when his issues became more than I was physically, emotionally and mentally able to cope with. I realized that I am still frightened of him. I am totally with you when you say that we need to address mental illness on a full national scale. We can't wait for all the face book posts to fix things even though people think that they are doing good by them. Mental illness is a real and serious issue. How many more mass slaughters will it take before this is recognized.