commented on SL Letter of the Day: Breaking the Code
OR, these two women were best friends at the time the bride & ex were dating, the ex was the love of the bride's life and she's had trouble putting the relationship behind her (they're clearly still friends even though the actual relationships was brief, so the pining could have been going on for years). The bride has finally managed to invest in a new relationship and invited the ex to her wedding as a means of closure but with the bitter-sweet hope he'd at least be a bit jealous. The letter writer is privy to all of this information but neglects to tell us that she is fully aware of how deeply traumatic this relationship was to the bride. Hooking up with the ex at the wedding undermined the the bride's hope for a triumphal moment.
Any code that says you can't date another person's romantic ex or current crush is bullshit. But everyone has unhealed heartaches that go far past the stats of a relationship, the kinds of things we only talk about with our best friends. If that trust is breeched, the friendship is over, and there's no point in trying to justify one's position. I suspect that the letter writer, instead of simply taking her prize (the ex) and walking away with him, also wants a moral credibility she doesn't deserve. She knows more than she's admitting about the bride's deepest emotions, she's seeking outside affirmation to assuage her guilt as a once best-friend. Choosing the ex over the bride is okay, but choosing the ex and insisting on the bride's blessing is not.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: My Best Guess
It sounds to me like there's something wrong with the relationship that she's not being honest about (or she has talked but he isn't hearing), something non-sexual that's bleeding over into their sexual relationship. I suspect that the great sex has masked the fact that the relationship is, from her perspective, rather shallow.
commented on Dear Nerds: Don't Do Blackface
I don't know, I think it's much more complicated than your argument makes it out to be. First and foremost, I think the desire to emulate African American characters is a significant step away from racism, and encourages the creation of strong roles for African Americans in film. Secondly, cosplayers tend to be extremely literal in their costuming, mimicking every precise detail that they can manage, including hair and makeup; setting race aside as the one thing they can't mimic -- and only if it's an African American character -- seems like a kind of backhanded racism. I think the worse thing that can happen is that people simply stop dressing as a member of a different human race, placing African Americans, for caucasians, in a category even more alien than, say, Andorians.
Ideally, we will eventually reach a point where we're only talking about complexion, not race, and it's perfectly fine to darken or lighten your complexion to look like an actor. Perhaps these cosplayers are getting there a little ahead of the social realities, but I find it hard to blame them for that.
commented on Should Washington State Legalize Prostitution?
Legalizing prostitution makes it possible for sex workers to set rules and standards, prosecute anyone who assaults or victimizes them, or sue anyone who takes economic advantage of them. I'm for it.
Not all sex workers are female, I'm surprised how many of these posts refer to prostitutes as women.
Sep 24, 2012
commented on John Corvino: "Debunking the Regnerus Study"
As a single mother, i'm tired of getting thrown under the bus in this debate. The arguments about family structure are just as skewed when discussing single parents, where issues of stability (divorced vs. intentionally single), secondary support, and financial resources are far more relevant than simply being married or not.