Mar 27 clancy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: She Needs Help! NOW!.
@4 nocutename

While in a horrible abusive shitty relationship I "wrote" many times, and thought 'oh'... And never hit send. I also stayed until they dumped me for someone else.
Aug 10, 2016 clancy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Worst Breakup Story Ever.
@33 and @46

I read the timeline, there is a significant difference between eleven weeks, and four weeks, especially in a pregnancy that was planned and wanted. By the time the LW makes up her mind about the abortion, if she chooses to proceed she very well could be in her second trimester.


I didn't say need. I said they should go hand in hand more than they do. Having access to counselling isn't a bad thing. I didn't mean to suggest it be mandatory, but it most definitely should be free and accessible IMO. I don't see that as so ridiculous quite frankly.

No need to call my thought ridiculous BS because you disagree. You can also see I was tailoring my post to the LW, who most certainly SHOULD talk to someone whether she terminates or not.

FWIW my experiences weren't bad, they were just experiences.

Aug 9, 2016 clancy commented on Savage Love.

At the very least Hurts to Pee, a condom would provide a barrier between skin funk and your urethra... If showering mote often isn't an option.

At least IME.
Aug 9, 2016 clancy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Worst Breakup Story Ever.

Seeing as Dan adopted his son, why wouldn't he even suggest she look into that as an option for her unborn child?

Further musings

We have no idea how far along this woman is. I know having a second trimester abortion is significantly more difficult where I live to the point where I would have to travel five hours each way to have it done. There is definitely also a massive stigma surrounding it too, which is completely unnecessary.
Aug 9, 2016 clancy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Worst Breakup Story Ever.
I'm definitely pro choice but I am a bit astonished at the numbers people suggesting she abort and nothing else.

If she chooses to go through with an abortion, heck before even, she should really consider counselling. The two really need to go hand in hand for a lot of women and in my experience they aren't offered together.

Abortions can be as traumatic as they are liberating.

I've had two in my life I'm ashamed to say. One at 21, a medical abortion with pills prescribed by a physician. It went awry and I carried around my dead foetus for a month before the drugs began working.

The second at 31, which was a D&C, it was far less traumatic for me, but has caused pelvic floor damage that is crippling my sexuality.

They have their places in womens lives, but they most definitely should not be suggested lightly.

I should heed my own advice about counselling though.
Aug 3, 2016 clancy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Back To the Dorms.
She could very easily be in her mid twenties and be an undergrad, and living in dorms. There re plenty of on campus housing options for mature students at many universities and colleges.

It's a bit short sighted to assume the Last girlfriend is 19/20


I'm sorry if you're in college /university and are in at least your second year you should damn well be able to sort put your own living arrangements. Just because she's with an older partner doesn't mean she needs to be hand held by that older partner.
Jun 17, 2016 clancy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Stressed Out.
A certified physio therapist can work on her pelvic floor muscles. I'm surprised Dan didn't look into this further. We'd suggest physio for any muscle injury, why not pelvic floor muscles?

Unfortunately in my experience, physicians aren't going to recommend seeing a physio therapist.

I happened to get lucky. I went in to a physio therapist for a broken tail bone, and part of that therapy was rehabilitation of my pelvic floor muscles. Prior to that, my pain during sex especially at climax wasn't taken all that seriously by my physician (also gyno)
Jan 30, 2016 clancy commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Debt and the Maiden.
There is something terrifyingly wrong with a country who's residents can claim 90K in medical or school related debt is the norm.

Dec 22, 2015 clancy commented on SL Letter of the Day: High Hopes.
Can a weight difference pose a challenge? I hadn't noticed.

Since when did slender = fit

Non slender women are perfectly capable of being both physically fit, and excellent lovers despite outweighing their male partners.

There is nothing wrong with having a preference, but there I something wrong with the way the LW chose to announce his preference. He's defensive about it.

Resentful of the BBWs? Why can those fatties get attraction and appreciation when his short miserableself can't.

He sounds like a twat.