Dan, thank you for your response to MEXICO. A few years ago I started a relationship with a guy whose "ex-gf-now-best-friend" entered his apartment without his permission while he was away visiting family, looked for his laptop which he had hidden, and read his emails to me. She threatened suicide on multiple occasions, and did a few other things slightly less crazy but same general direction. I told him this behavior was emotionally abusive and he wouldn't accept that -- kept making excuses for her behavior. And he wasn't much better -- he would tell me one thing and tell her another thing, then behave the opposite of whatever he said. This was exceptionally hard on me since I'm used to people behaving rationally. Eventually we broke up and later I heard they got back together to "try to make it work." It took me a long time but I moved on and now am in the best relationship ever. Glad to hear independent confirmation that these are the signs of an abuser.