Sep 4, 2014
commented on Last Night on Twitter
@47 Nailed you, Dan. Maybe Terry was feeling off-the-charts bitchy about probably the most non-provocative twitter useage ever, but your escalation exposed you as an abelist, sputtering jackass of epic proportions. Nice work.
Sep 2, 2014
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Hate the Game
Living in another part of the state doesn't matter, unless you're so unaccustomed to apologizing that you need that kind of distance.
Listen, SSSS, kids do stupid things. They experiment with words, with social cues, and their inexperience with both means that they *will* make mistakes. How you *handle* the mistakes that they will, without any question, make - that is what determines whether you did the right thing, not whether you knew through your crystal ball what your kids would do and coach them to avoid making mistakes. That will never happen.
If the girl who wasn't in on the 'joke' (and it is a feeble one, for sure, and inappropriate as hell - you did talk that through with your kid, right?) is still uncomfortable YEARS later, then here is what you didn't do: provide an example that your child could follow in making up to her for the mistake that your kid made.
It can be painful to go through the process of publicly apologizing, sure, but is it any more painful than trying to avoid someone for years or hoping they relocate to another part of the state?? Maybe if I hadn't grown up in a small town, I might have hoped for that, but it wasn't an option. So, I had to learn to live for a long time with the social consequences of mistakes I made, and mostly people are judged by how poorly they make up for them, not the gravity of the initial error.
So go the parents of the other kid, yes now, and take your kid with you and apologize. Make it heartfelt and brief and sincere, and don't make any excuses, but tell her what was going on, and that you dropped the ball when you didn't come up to her and tell her you were sorry earlier. And that you're sorry she's been afraid all these years because you didn't apologize. Try to put her at ease, and be at ease yourself when you do. Telling her parents first that you really owe them all an apology and that you're planning to deliver it will go a long way. But don't just suffer and wait. Suffering is the long way home. Get it over with, make an example of how apologies work, and then let yourselves off the hook. It is about time.
Aug 17, 2014
commented on A Local Organization Is Working to Help Sex Workers in Seattle
Here is the thing, Dan: even if sex work were legal, and paid commensurately with experience, etc., it still would be appealing mainly to people - mostly women - who had few other options - and many of those women have been abused, or economically at the bottom of the ladder. Your body is what you sell when it is economically supportable as an alternative to selling nearly any other talent you may have. It's inherently risky, in ways that no other job will be.
So - no, I can't support sex work, because supporting it is supporting a system that *makes sex work appealing* - which is only ever economically, and which is only ever a product of vast inequality that should rightly be addressed before we start championing how awesome sex work is (or could be - if we lived in a world that we don't actually live in).
Put simply, if sex work paid minimum wage, and women had a lot of other options for making money that didn't involve the risks and abuse that go along with sex work as we know it today, there wouldn't be a lot of takers for those jobs.
Jul 14, 2014
commented on Two Dead in Apparent Domestic Violence Shooting at a Spokane Medical Center
I am contemptuously disgusted with the fact that women killed by people they live with is classified as some gourmet version of murder with its own special term. People, it is murder. It doesn't make her any less dead because she was killed by someone she knew. What the everloving fuck is that distinction even for, except to distinguish it in some way that allows certain jerks to care less about it. Fuuuuuck.
May 23, 2014
commented on I'm Jewish, I Was at the Macklemore Show, and Here's What I Saw
Non-apologies, the product of privilege.
Even if it were believable that it wasn't obviously racist (no) the right thing to do when someone says, yo, that is some racist shit right there, is to respond: oh. I'm so sorry, I was insulated by the privilege of being an ignorant white dude who has been insulated all his life from having to think about how the non-privileged live. LET ME RUMINATE ON THIS AND GET BACK TO YOU. At least. At the very fucking least.
By contrast, denying there's a problem at all (e.g. from 'don't we have better things to worry about' to 'y'all are just LOOKING for reasons to be mad!') is boilerplate racist bullshit. The end.
Apr 10, 2014
commented on How Metal Is Your Period?
71! Here's a quiz I can WIN. >:./
There surprisingly was no mention of looking forward to packing odd items off to junior high school, like a tatty sweatshirt, that you could tie around your waist when you inevitably bled through ALL THE THINGS because your jackwagon teacher(s) restricted bathroom access during class for some unfathomably assholey control-freak purpose. Even the teachers who were nice about it couldn't disguise for you the fact that you're getting up to go to the bathroom and EVERYONE WOULD KNOW WHY *snicker snicker*. Seriously, fuck middle school.
I remember literally *praying* - and I am by no means religious now, nor was I then - to get my first period during the summer so I could get some practice dealing with it before going back to school. Four minutes between classes is not enough to clean up a murder scene and appear cool and collected.
Hey, soon I'll get to complain about menopause! Fun with uteri. It just never ends.
Apr 8, 2014
commented on Savage Love
re: "Sex has fallen to zero." Well after 45 years, I'm not surprised ... especially when your go-to response to this is to say WTH, other women exist and will be paid for it.
Before we rubber-stamp Dan's tacit approval of your cowardice, would you care to explain why you gave up on your wife without any explanation here? Because you sound like a standard-issue asshole to me: 'I'm entitled to sex, so if I'm not getting it without effort at home, I'm perfectly within bounds to get it effortlessly/with money elsewhere.' Sure, Mr Christian Upbringing. You came to Dan for what, exactly? Approval of non-communicative, no-effort bullshit. Well, you won!
I'd hate to be your wife, tho.
Apr 7, 2014
commented on Support Traditional Adultery
"PROTECT THE UNBORN! Once they are born and we find out they're female, well, fuck 'em - they don't deserve to be recognized as autonomous human beings. BUT IN THE WOMB EVEN GIRLS ARE WORTHY OF BEING BILLED BY SOMEONE IN OUR FOR PROFIT HEALTH 'CARE' SYSTEM FOR SURVIVING, so that we can go on to continually bill her for reproductive health care-- well, never mind, let's not get ridiculous here."
Apr 6, 2014
commented on The Rise of the Anti-Liberal Left
oh oh oh! *I* get it. So when centrist-white-men want to be listened to because they're fighting for expansion of the status quo to include, say, *gay* white dudez into the White Privilege machine, that's something worth paying attention to because of course they deserve it being all white and dude-like and all. But when someone brown or female or Other wants the same thing, they're hysterical chicken littles. Okay.
How is that attitude different from the Fawks Noooze, again?