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May 16, 2013 @kphisch commented on Savage Love.
@EricaP has a good idea, in a phone sex hotline, though nobody deserves the emotional distance that comes with those, and the idea of paying for that shit, no matter who's paying, just sucks, and is degrading, more than sucking. I would have thought that Dan would have had a better answer for this. Has he been asked a similar question? If he's able to help people with the dom/sub, butt plug, teen sex questions week after week, all non-essential (as far as this heterosexual dick-to-vagina virgin knows), he should at least try to help a person who's been sexually harassed in the most reasonable way (you know, in that she feels his tone is vaguely sexual, so it's barely sexual harassment, therefore reasonable) for the most reasonable reason - by someone who has assumedly had little to no sexual experience (at least recently), besides dressing up. In this wide world, there has to be something for him, and it's great that he has an open therapist. That therapist should be able to help him and give advice for an outlet, so SKIRT should get into contact with that therapist, which would be more rewarding than the outcome of this letter. Sex Surrogacy exists, but I've found the only system for it, as it is technically illegal, is in California. I'm sure SKIRT's cousin can find someone nobly, and any therapist should be able to help. I mean, there is a place for the mentally disabled on online dating sites. Just, once you find a girl who has some sexual connection to a mentally disabled cross-dresser, just hope that she has her own place.
Then again, even though there's a lot of fascinating detail already presented in this letter, there's not even enough - what kind of mental disability (cross-dressing itself better not be considered that in that town)? Is the therapist Christian? If so, interesting...
One solution would be to move, but it'd be very understandable if the biggest change he can make is of clothes.
I really feel for SKIRT, and hope she finds answers, but I also would like to see Dan Savage have a good answer for this in the future, because if he had the knowledge and the care and connection, he would give a great answer.
Feb 17, 2013 @kphisch joined My Stranger Face
Feb 17, 2013 @kphisch commented on Savage Love.
@Lynx: Your suggestion can turn a kid crazy. For one, my parents have left a bunch of books for and about caring for me around the house, probably genuinely carelessly, and it heated me up so much. It was mostly stuff about an ineffective, distracted child, and so on, but they just served as something to rant at my friends about, and it's in my the back of my head whenever I get angry, heating me up more quickly. A kid sees a book that's set apart from any other book a parent might have, as a parenting book, that kid will just see it as being passively accommodated to. 14 is definitely the age where if DUD wants to be talked to, at all, not even opened up to yet, he has to wait, and be happy, and open. The book's probably great, and DUD should read it as an e-book. And, shouldn't do anything about it beyond that, at all. It's almost a perfect opportunity for the kid to snoop back, but that would hurt a lot more for both of them, with reactionary guilt simmering. Just, don't leave a fucking book out, just be there... but that's just me as a spoiled kid, that I hated that my parents offered me help all the time, but they were seldom ever there when I did ask of help, probably because they were unnecessarily available every other time. Be ready for action, showing nothing else.
From glancing @Fortunate, that's the best...advice.