Thexalon
report this user
Aug 14 Thexalon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Gay Virgin Comes Out & Gets Out From Under.
I know I'm late to this party, but some more advice from a late-ish bloomer (albeit a straight one): The fact that this guy is willing to take things at a pace you're comfortable with is a sure sign he's a keeper, because he's respecting you as a person. Don't worry about whether he's "the one", that's not important right now, but respect him in return, respect yourself, and it's really not that scary. There will probably come a time when you want more contact - when it does, get consent and go for it.
Also, you've only been with this guy a little over a week. You can take it much slower than that if you want to. Continue to lead your pre-partnered life, except for the looking-for-partners part of it if you're doing the monogamy thing: Keep talking to any friends you've made, pursuing your career, enjoying your hobbies, and so forth. You can do things without him, and he can do things without you, and that doesn't mean you're not a couple.
Jun 6 Thexalon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Little Big Man.
Listen, fella, it seems like you are naturally monogamous, that is someone who is more about focusing on a single partner than running around with as many people as you can get or something.
And that's totally fine! Heck, in another time or place it would be seen as downright laudable. Give yourself permission to not seek out more sex than you're already getting, enjoy the heck out of your fiance (and make sure she's enjoying the heck out of you), and keep those hall passes handy for a drunken mistake sometime in the future. The stereotype of all men sleeping with anyone they can is just that, a stereotype, and you don't have to match it if you don't want to.
And I say this as someone else who has had permission to date multiple women, but never has.
May 20 Thexalon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Two Birds, One Stone.
Dan's mellowing out in his old age: 10 years ago, the answers in both cases would have been "DTMFA".
Jan 14 Thexalon commented on Savage Love.
"But liking us solely because of our race can be uncomfortable at best, and creepy as hell at worst."

There are approximately 1 billion people of just about any racial type in the world. Of those, approximately half are your preferred physical sex (if you have one, obviously pan- and bi- types don't need to factor this in). Of those, a solid 10-20% are single and in your age range. That still leaves about 25 million people minimum. So have some reason why out of the 25 million available people of your preferred racial background, you want to be with this one.
Jan 13 Thexalon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Licensed Massage Practitioner Takes License.
I want to highlight something else here: Why is it that the LW was worried about what happened to her masseuse? That kind of thinking allows so many sexual assaults to go unreported - "I don't want to hurt the boss's career", "it might have been a misunderstanding", etc, etc. Why did her mind go in the direction of wanting to protect him, rather than protecting herself?

I go with a different theory: If you see something, say something. You can tell the boss the whole story, about how it might have been a misunderstanding, and so forth, but that way, if the boss gets somebody else with the same story, they can put them together.
Jan 4 Thexalon commented on About Those Armed Militia Members/Terrorists Who Seized a Federal Building in Rural Oregon.
Also relevant in both the Tamir Rice and John Crawford III cases: Ohio is, according to this map drawn up from Google searches on the n-word, the most racist state in the entire country.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk…
Aug 9, 2015 Thexalon commented on Black Lives Matter Activists Interrupt Bernie Sanders at Social Security Rally.
Also, the idea that Sanders hasn't addressed the importance of BlackLivesMatter is simply the result of his statements on race issues going unreported. Because he's talked about it, he's mentioned specific plans (e.g. community policing and shutting down private prisons), he's called it out as an injustice, and he has a very extensive record of doing what's right about race.
Aug 9, 2015 Thexalon commented on Black Lives Matter Activists Interrupt Bernie Sanders at Social Security Rally.
My strong suspicion: The "activists" (who seem to have made this their first and only protest action) were in the employ of an opposing candidate's campaign. That same opposing candidate might well have also arranged for some of the ruder comments from the crowd ("Psst, 200 bucks if you shout out "All Lives Matter" when someone starts talking about Black Lives Matter").

That's because the goal of the exercise was to create an impression of Sanders and his supporters telling black people to sit down and shut up, even though that's not in any way consistent with anything Sanders has ever said or done.
Aug 7, 2015 Thexalon commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Reality Check.
I don't blame him, but I sure hope he learned from this. At least he got played not quite as badly as a 68-year-old millionaire (quite possibly ex-millionaire) I'm acquainted with.
Jun 24, 2015 Thexalon commented on Savage Love.
@21 "People are perhaps being just a little harsh about GETOUT's girlfriend (isn't anyone else considering that her problems may arise from sexual trauma in her past?)."

She may well have sexual trauma in her past, and that may explain some of her sexual aversion, but it doesn't explain this: Why does she want a husband so badly that she's threatening to kill herself if she doesn't get one?