Jan 13
Phoebe commented on SL Letter of the Day: Skin-to-Skin Contact.
Off topic!
Dan, Pat Robertson is now answering letters presumably written to the advice columnist for Maxim. I love this. I want him to provide alternate answers to your letters too, and am hoping you will invite him to do so. Let the best sage win! http://www.salon.com/2013/01/11/pat_robe…]
Dan, Pat Robertson is now answering letters presumably written to the advice columnist for Maxim. I love this. I want him to provide alternate answers to your letters too, and am hoping you will invite him to do so. Let the best sage win! http://www.salon.com/2013/01/11/pat_robe…]
Dec 18, 2012
Phoebe commented on Obama's Speech at Newtown Vigil.
It's not either/or. Let's change our culture and mental health polices AND do whatever exactly Australia did with the gun thing.
Dec 18, 2012
Phoebe commented on "Also Go Fuck Yourself".
I read one backlash article, the Hanna Rosin one, and did not in any way think that it was saying we shouldn't care about mental health issues. I don't get this article if it's a response to that article. I felt sorry for Liza Long when I read HER piece, but did also agree with everything Hanna Rosin said -- http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/201…
-- which was a pretty narrow argument about the judgment of equating your son with a mass murderer in the manner that she did, along with some fairly nitpicky but still justifiable criticisms of the way she dealt with her kid, according to her own testimony. We all make mistakes, blah blah, but we should own up to them as well.
This article to which you point us has nothing to do with that at all, unless it's to say, essentially, "Long's situation is sad -- just like mine! Here's mine, and please feel the undeniable sadness now as I tell it -- and because of sadness (and my sadness = her sadness, so let my sad story persuade you on this issue) you can't say anything unflattering about this woman." But I would like to give the author more credit than that and assume she is responding to a different backlash article.
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-- which was a pretty narrow argument about the judgment of equating your son with a mass murderer in the manner that she did, along with some fairly nitpicky but still justifiable criticisms of the way she dealt with her kid, according to her own testimony. We all make mistakes, blah blah, but we should own up to them as well.
This article to which you point us has nothing to do with that at all, unless it's to say, essentially, "Long's situation is sad -- just like mine! Here's mine, and please feel the undeniable sadness now as I tell it -- and because of sadness (and my sadness = her sadness, so let my sad story persuade you on this issue) you can't say anything unflattering about this woman." But I would like to give the author more credit than that and assume she is responding to a different backlash article.
Mar 14, 2012
Phoebe commented on SL Letter of the Day: Permission Slippage.
Do it! You're preventing some home wrecker from actually wrecking a home.
If you were an adult who looked like a child, and a pedophile wanted to have sex with you, but only if you're a child, and you wanted to have sex with this adult, because you want to, go ahead! Lie about your age! For the sake of some kid(s) somewhere.
If you were an adult who looked like a child, and a pedophile wanted to have sex with you, but only if you're a child, and you wanted to have sex with this adult, because you want to, go ahead! Lie about your age! For the sake of some kid(s) somewhere.
Jan 20, 2012
Phoebe commented on SL Letter of the Day: Frustrated Sex Columnist.
Dan,
Answer this letter as many times as you have to. Cut and paste the same answer, I don't care. But this happened to me -- I didn't marry the guy, but we kept breaking up and getting back together -- and it did a number on me that took years to undo and it's still kind of lingering. When she says it's messing with her self esteem, or however she put it, THAT is the big deal, and tied in with the fear of initiating anything. That's going to carry over to the next fella. It's awful awful awful. I really hope she takes your advice.
Answer this letter as many times as you have to. Cut and paste the same answer, I don't care. But this happened to me -- I didn't marry the guy, but we kept breaking up and getting back together -- and it did a number on me that took years to undo and it's still kind of lingering. When she says it's messing with her self esteem, or however she put it, THAT is the big deal, and tied in with the fear of initiating anything. That's going to carry over to the next fella. It's awful awful awful. I really hope she takes your advice.
May 23, 2011
Phoebe commented on Bridesmaids: Death to the Chick Flick.
#67 and she was IN the picture, so, not the greatest example of someone that done got did wrong.
I sympathize with all the people who say that our whole gender gets done wrong every time another rom com comes out, but then I'm sure there's a guy flick equivalent. And I'm guessing the smart guys don't feel patronized as guys (yer profiling me rong!) because they know it's just a bunch of dumb guys making the decisions and they don't take it personally. The best movies are the ones that are popular with both genders, because they're good. And there are enough of them that we can all ignore the dreck. I don't want to be profiled at all, really.
This thing that LOOKS like a chick flick? About a wedding? Of course they have to distance themselves. OF COURSE.
I sympathize with all the people who say that our whole gender gets done wrong every time another rom com comes out, but then I'm sure there's a guy flick equivalent. And I'm guessing the smart guys don't feel patronized as guys (yer profiling me rong!) because they know it's just a bunch of dumb guys making the decisions and they don't take it personally. The best movies are the ones that are popular with both genders, because they're good. And there are enough of them that we can all ignore the dreck. I don't want to be profiled at all, really.
This thing that LOOKS like a chick flick? About a wedding? Of course they have to distance themselves. OF COURSE.
Apr 15, 2011
Phoebe commented on SL Letter of the Day: Have At It, Gang.
72 and 88. Therapy therapy therapy for everyone, by someone who doesn't suck.
I wouldn't automatically shunt the decision to the mom, either. Just because she appears to have done nothing wrong here doesn't mean she has good judgment. Try to love your daughter, despite the fact that you hate her. I'd start with that.
I wouldn't automatically shunt the decision to the mom, either. Just because she appears to have done nothing wrong here doesn't mean she has good judgment. Try to love your daughter, despite the fact that you hate her. I'd start with that.
Dec 30, 2010
Phoebe commented on SL Letter of the Day: Soldiering On.
Jeezuz you guys. You're all just speculating based on this letter, and acting like people with actuarial tables -- she's got a career, she's 29, blah blah blah HIGH RISK! JUMP!-- and yeah, the odds are statistically low [given what we know], that this will "work", i.e. last beyond his army stint. But why can't they just enjoy each other and see what happens up until he leaves, as Dan suggests [which contradicts his first line, by the way -- it's not over until it's over, and if it's over, you don't keep seeing each other, casually or not]? I'm 46, i.e., a thousand, and all I keep learning as I decay over here, is that you never really know until you actually know, and if you make a decision based on insecurity -- which is what she's doing -- it'll bite you in the ass with regret and you'll just end up getting back together, but with more pain and insecurity to drag along from having broken up.
Also, it's really hard to find someone you are flat out crazy for, and when you do, training yourself off that person can take a lot longer than 5 months. Might as well see it through. By the time the fork in the road comes along, you'll know a lot more than you do now.
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Also, it's really hard to find someone you are flat out crazy for, and when you do, training yourself off that person can take a lot longer than 5 months. Might as well see it through. By the time the fork in the road comes along, you'll know a lot more than you do now.
Dec 6, 2009
Phoebe commented on Savage Love.
I'm annoyed by the people who think the fiancee either knows she has a CPOS on her hands or is too invested in the upcoming marriage to dump him. People don't always know, and some of them are genuinely naive and trusting. Especially if they would never dream of cheating. People always make the mistake of assuming their beloveds share their moral code.
I'm glad Dan wants the fiancee to know, and putting myself in her place, I wouldn't care who I heard it from. It would be painful but necessary either way. In fact, I'd much rather hear it from this crazy clown he's been fucking, so I could look at her long and hard and think, "This is who he cheats on me with. This idiot who acts like we're both sisters in victimhood." I wouldn't want to hear his prettied-up version.
I'm glad Dan wants the fiancee to know, and putting myself in her place, I wouldn't care who I heard it from. It would be painful but necessary either way. In fact, I'd much rather hear it from this crazy clown he's been fucking, so I could look at her long and hard and think, "This is who he cheats on me with. This idiot who acts like we're both sisters in victimhood." I wouldn't want to hear his prettied-up version.
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