report this user
Jul 25, 2015 phony_handle commented on Revisiting the Town of the Most Famous Horse Sex Death in Recorded History.
We now have laws against bestiality in Washington State. We now have a black president. Our troops in Iraq have come home. We have been through the worst economic collapse since the Great Depression. A tsunami resulted in the meltdown of three nuclear reactors in Japan. Bill Cosby is no longer America's father but an alleged serial rapist. The climate is really changing.

I don't think I've ever read a paragraph that summed up the past decade quite like this. I like having Bill Cosby and the bestiality laws in there with the tsunami and whatnot. And the "we now have a black president" cliche is just right. I think Charles has proven that it can be inserted into any context whatsoever and fit perfectly. So funny.
Jul 21, 2013 phony_handle commented on This Weekend in Great Reads Behind Paywalls: The New Yorker on Domestic Violence Homicides.
@23: If you're determined to keep talking, here are some recommendations from professionals on how to keep the conversation productive:

10 Helpful Things To Do Or Say To Someone Who Is Being Abused:
1. Open a dialogue. “Are you ever afraid of _____________’s temper?”
2. Show concern. “I am afraid for your safety.”
3. Appreciate the danger they are in. “I’m afraid the danger will get worse.”
4. Commit to being supportive. “I will always be here for you.”
5. Listen. “If you ever need to talk, I will just listen and not give advice.”
6. Value the victim. “This is not your fault and you do not deserve to be abused.”
7. Compliment the victim. Help to counter the toll that the verbal abuse may be taking on their self-esteem.
8. Make observations, not judgments. “I’m worried about you; you don’t laugh as much anymore.”
9. Offer to help in ways you can. Set clear and fair boundaries you are comfortable with.
10. Ask questions that focus on her/his feelings. “That sounds scary to me, how do you feel about it?”

5 Things Not To Do Or Say:
1. “Just Leave.” Please see the “Why doesn’t the victim just leave?” section
2. Give an ultimatum. This assists the batterer in isolating the victim further and cuts off their support system.
3. Bad-mouth the batterer. This may cause the victim to be defensive of the batterer and will make it “unsafe” to confide in you.
4. Disbelieve or demand proof of the abuse. You are not a judge. If they feel unsafe, that is all that should matter to you.
5. Tell the victim what they “have to do.” Domestic violence is about power and control, and if a victim is going to heal, they must regain control themself. Do not give advice, or tell the victim what they need to do, or what you would do. It is good to help the, discover their options, but the decision must be theirs alone.
Jul 20, 2013 phony_handle commented on This Weekend in Great Reads Behind Paywalls: The New Yorker on Domestic Violence Homicides.

Figuring that out- why women are in love with their abusers, will be a huge step forward.

Somehow I doubt it. Exodus International would still be in business if humans could control who they loved, don't you think? And when has anyone ever figured out why anyone ever loved anyone? Are you making a joke and I'm not getting it or something?

What would have helped Giunta-Cotter (and has since proven to help others like her) are better procedures to identify the worst abusers and stronger measures to protect the victims of those abusers. That appears to be the point of the New Yorker article (according to non-paywall sources anyway).

The victim-blaming tendencies of the internet astonish me at times.
Jun 19, 2013 phony_handle commented on When Domestic Violence Becomes a Mass Shooting.

Again, this goes both ways, but did Sack's article offer analyses on victims of PIV whose significant others forced aggressive, drunken, unwanted sex on them?

Your suspicions are warranted. The studies that support Sacks's claims about women being the initiators of domestic violence don't count sexual assault as domestic violence. They use Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS) to identify DV, which also has the flaw of omitting motive. According to CTS, hitting someone as they tried to sexually assault you would be considered domestic violence, but the sexual assault itself would not. CTS is widely criticized for this reason. My post @80 refers to my source on this.
Jun 18, 2013 phony_handle commented on When Domestic Violence Becomes a Mass Shooting.
The same socialization may lead men to under-report physical assaults by women.

But there's a difference between failing to report a crime to the police and lying in a survey. I don't think I've ever see anyone suggest that rape victims (or domestic violence victims) under-report in surveys, though I would assume there are instances where respondents fail to recognize their experiences for what they were.

That means of the total 1336 people killed by intimate partners, 18% were men.

Since murder isn't vulnerable to under-reporting bias, your statistic demonstrates that women make up 82% of DV murder victims, which is consistent with the 80-90% range for female victimization cited by various sources.

The number of women who kill their partners may also be understated, because cases where women hire killers, or get boyfriends or some local teenage boys to do the deed may be counted as multiple-perpetrator homicides rather than intimate partner homicides.

Or the number of women perpetrators could be overstated if the statistics include cases where a woman kills a man in self-defense. Since the 82% number tracks pretty closely with the ratio between male and female murder perpetrators generally (90% male in the US), I don't see any reason to be overly suspicious about gross underestimation or overestimation here.

I have to say, this whole men vs. women fight is a major derail; Minard's article doesn't suggest that laws (or law enforcement) should be gender-specific. So why does it matter who abuses more? Even in the examples Minard cites, at least four of the victims were men who got too close to someone else's domestic violence. It would seem both men and women would benefit from depriving abusers of guns.
Jun 17, 2013 phony_handle commented on When Domestic Violence Becomes a Mass Shooting.
@78: I googled "domestic violence perpetrator statistics"; this was the first hit:…

It states that "85% of domestic violence victims are women." The footnotes show that the number came from here:…

This might be too criminological for you, but it's interesting because it directly addresses the role methodology plays in differing measurements:

NIJ researchers have found, however, that collecting various types of counts from men and women does not yield an accurate understanding of battering and serious injury occurring from intimate partner violence. National surveys supported by NIJ, CDC, and BJS that examine more serious assaults do not support the conclusion of similar rates of male and female spousal assaults. These surveys are conducted within a safety or crime context and clearly find more partner abuse by men against women.

For example, NVAWS found that women are significantly more likely than men to report being victims of intimate partner violence whether it is rape, physical assault, or stalking and whether the timeframe is the person's lifetime or the previous 12 months. [3] NCVS found that about 85 percent of victimizations by intimate partners in 1998 were against women. [4, 5]

The studies that find that women abuse men equally or even more than men abuse women are based on data compiled through the Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS), a survey tool developed in the 1970s. CTS may not be appropriate for intimate partner violence research because it does not measure control, coercion, or the motives for conflict tactics; it also leaves out sexual assault and violence by ex-spouses or partners and does not determine who initiated the violence. [6, 7]

A review of the research found that violence is instrumental in maintaining control and that more than 90 percent of "systematic, persistent, and injurious" violence is perpetrated by men.

BJS reports that 30 percent of female homicide victims are murdered by their intimate partners compared with 5 percent of male homicide victims, and that 22 percent of victims of nonfatal intimate partner violence are female but only 3 percent are male. [9] Researchers that use city- and State-generated databases for analysis, however, attribute 40–50 percent of female homicides to intimate partners. This discrepancy likely results from omission of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends from the Federal Supplementary Homicide Reports that are used by BJS. Ex-boyfriends account for up to 11 percent of intimate partner homicides committed by men, and ex-girlfriends account for up to 3 percent of intimate partner homicides committed by women.

My conclusion from this is that if you ignore severity (serious injury and death), men and women perpetrate domestic violence on a somewhat equal basis. If you take severity into account, men are the main (but not the only) perpetrators.

Minard's article is specifically about DV abusers who go on murder sprees, so severity is a relevant consideration for the matter at hand, regardless of your personal feelings on the subject.
Jun 16, 2013 phony_handle commented on Foie Gras Tastes Like Cat Food.
Wow. I'm not sure the article was worth reading, but the comments certainly were.

I can't wait to see whether the "(potentially alcoholic) racist animal-rights activism" genre of internet trolling catches on.
Jun 9, 2013 phony_handle commented on Edward Snowden, the NSA Whistleblower, Is Hiding in Hong Kong.
It's hard for me to get too worked up these phone records.

ATT used to send me a report containing all this stuff once a month (waste of paper); clearly the phone companies store data of this type. What with the PATRIOT act, NSA could have gotten it without demanding to warehouse it themselves (unless the phone companies keep it for a limited period of time?).

And apparently we like the PATRIOT act enough to keep electing the yahoos who crafted it. Look in the mirror, paranoid Americans.
Jun 6, 2013 phony_handle commented on Gold Star Comment of the Day!.
These two comments aren't even in the same league. six five's comment should be demoted to a brown star.
Jun 5, 2013 phony_handle commented on Lindy West: An Appreciation.
@63: Exactly. Well said. And maybe I'm overly optimistic, but I think there actually are people who want to be kind and responsible but just never gave much thought to what they were laughing at. If fans become more sensitive to this issue, comedians won't have any choice but to follow.

@59: While Lindy's point about the traumatizing effect anti-victim rape jokes can have on rape survivors is proven (in the sense that there are such people in the world and some have said so), the question of whether and how much jokes affect the broader culture (and incidence of rape) is more of a judgment call for most people.

If you genuinely do know of research that sheds light on that question, it wouldn't hurt to share it. In the meantime, I'd wager most people are relying on experience and intuition. I mean, those boys in Steubenville clearly had a problem with understanding that rape isn't something to laugh at. It would be nice if our culture taught that lesson a little better.

Lindy's singling out comics probably has more to do with her immersion in (and love for) comedy as opposed to a belief that comics are the root cause rape culture. They're just one item on a long list and quite possibly nowhere near the top.