WIAPI, Dan's right that you'll always be frustrated with whatever gender you're romantically or sexually involved with. But part of the reason why men (not individually, but as a group) are so particularly bad is that we live in a sexist society. Our society teaches men that being an asshole is good and natural, and this attitude - which effects everybody, even feminists, and even feminist men - hurts people of all genders. I suggest you read some feminist literature. Not the scary militant kind, but the friendly kind. Finally, Feminism 101 [http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/
] is a good resource for non-scary explanations of feminist concepts, and Feministing [http://www.feministing.com/
] is a great source of news and current events from a non-scary feminist perspective. Educating yourself about feminism won't make you less angry, but it will start giving you some answers to your question. And it might make you feel more empowered, too.