XiaoGui17
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Jan 10 XiaoGui17 commented on I, Anonymous.
As someone who moved from a big city to a small town, I experienced a sort of inverse of this culture shock. People kept approaching me to just say howdy and have a blessed day. I was terrified at first, thinking I was being approached by some street-harassing scrub looking to get his dick wet, some panhandler who wanted cash ("for gas"), some weirdo who just had to preach his drug/ mental illness induced revelation. But no, they were just friendly. It was fucking strange. I nearly had a heart attack the first few times because in the city I saw much more of the former.
Dec 14, 2016 XiaoGui17 commented on Read This Letter from a Murdered Man's Brother to a Seattle Sentencing Judge.
Eloquent and poignant. It was insightful, yet humble.
Dec 14, 2016 XiaoGui17 commented on Savage Love.
@26: Have YOU ever had a discussion with a Trump supporter? How many minds did YOU change?

But we have all that cis white privilege that enables us to bend other cis white people to our will. They take us more seriously and hear out what we have to say because we are fellow cis whites. /s
Dec 12, 2016 XiaoGui17 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Love Letter, Interrupted.
@5 BUT, have one hell of a prenup sealed in blood for when/if things go south.

Not possible in green card marriages. Just run.
Dec 11, 2016 XiaoGui17 commented on Leave Pepe Alone: Fantagraphics Wants Its Frog Back from the White Nationalist Movement.
@7: Meh, it's tantamount to saying that white nationalists "appropriated" emoticons, or text- speak, or "liking" stuff on Facebook. It's not that the alt right took any particular shine to Pepe, it's that Pepe is such a ubiquitous meme that he's been used by practically every group there is.

Some out-of-touch old fuddy-duddies saw Pepe first when being trolled by white nationalists and jumped to the conclusion that Pepe was a racist meme. Sure, you could whine that the alt-right is appropriating Pepe, but you could just as easily roll your eyes at the doofuses who made that assumption because they couldn't be bothered to Google and find out more about Pepe.
Dec 11, 2016 XiaoGui17 commented on I, Anonymous.
@16: I saw neither misspellings, nor misuse of words, not any other blatant grammatical errors. I saw lax punctuation and capitalization more indicative of "It's an internet comment section; IDGAF" than of poor education. As an English major, even I think you're being a Grammar Nazi of the highest order.
Dec 6, 2016 XiaoGui17 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Live In Nope.
@77: It's quote possible she did give him some indication that things weren't going well, and he was simply in denial about this being a relationship-ending issue.

There are many stories from the flip side of this scenario: "I told significant other I had a problem, they brushed it off as not a problem, and then acted completely blindsided and bewildered when I left over it."

This letter could easily have been written by my ex.

I told him I had issues with things: his outbursts of shouting and breaking inanimate objects, his mooching off me and his mother in his 40's and not getting a job, his hoarder pigsty apartment, his serious substance abuse issues, his indoor smoking, etc, etc, etc. I told him, repeatedly, for three years that I wanted him to fix these issues, that I couldn't live with someone who was such a mess.

To him, none of these were reasons to break up. To him, this way of living was normal and not a problem. Whenever I raised any of these issues, he made a point of reminding me that he neither beat me nor cheated on me. Apparently, in his mind, those were the only reasons to dump someone.

And I can see why he would think that--he would never dump someone over any of this, because he didn't see any of it as a problem, and he couldn't do any better being a mess himself, so he thought of these things as trivial, not grounds for breakup.

When I left, he insisted that he deserved to know why. I had already told him why. I had told him why for three years. I told him again. He refused to believe I would leave him over what were, in his mind, trivial issues.

He said he deserved another chance after three years. As far as I was concerned, he'd had three years worth of chances and had consistently shown me he didn't care about what mattered to me.

He couldn't make sense of the reasons I gave him--refused to believe that any of them were "the real reason." Accepting that I left him for the reasons I told him would have required some painful introspection and self-awareness. It was too painful for him to admit his own flaws, so he had to deny that they were the reason--or call me petty and immature for "giving up so easily on a relationship of three years."
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Nov 15, 2016 XiaoGui17 commented on New Column!.
Seriously, this was obvious satire.
Nov 10, 2016 XiaoGui17 commented on Channel Your Trump Despair into Helping People Whose Access to Abortion Is About to Get a Lot Worse.
Even though most of those babies are, admittedly, better off dead than raised by the immature selfish immoral assholes that spawned them.

Well, there you have it.

My mother never would have had me, or any of my three siblings, had she not had an abortion at 20 before she met my father. I do not consider her an "immature selfish immoral asshole." I think she's an excellent mother, better than most, who had the overall wellbeing of her future family in mind when she made the decision to terminate that pregnancy--a decision I ultimately consist the responsible one.

Sure, it would have been even better had she avoided conceiving in the first place, but I don't think that's since sort of devastating indictment of her character.

And yes, there are a great many people who are immature selfish immoral assholes who have no business raising children. Many of them wanted children and had them deliberately, but completely failed to account for what responsibilities it would entail.

The solution is for people to engage in ethical responsible sexual behavior.

What, like using birth control? I hear there's an organization that strongly promoted the user of birth control. It's on the tip of my tongue, and starts with a P...
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Nov 9, 2016 XiaoGui17 commented on Channel Your Trump Despair into Helping People Whose Access to Abortion Is About to Get a Lot Worse.
@1: Isn't it you always telling everyone not to have kids? If you were going to put your money where your mouth is, you should be tithing to Planned Parenthood.

TEA Fund is the local fund for West Texas and has all of my support. Of course, up here often the best that can be done is to travel to New Mexico, so Fund Texas Choice (the abortion travel agency) is also a worthy cause.

I could not possibly agree more in the refocused effort. Good article and call to action!