Chaucer59
Austin, Texas
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Jun 6 Chaucer59 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Little Big Man.
FFS PENIS, most women not only don't care what your cock looks like—they'd rather not see it at all. So either get over yourself or learn to enjoy sex in the dark.
Jun 1 Chaucer59 commented on Savage Love.
Regarding DCMC: methinks the lady doth protest too much. At 46, being with a 29-year-old has the dichotomous effect of making her feel young (having youthful sex) and simultaneously holding up a mirror to show those nasty crow's feet. I get the distinct impression DCMC really wants permission to ignore the age difference and just let the relationship be what it is: hot sex between two people who like and respect one another—between two people who might, given the opportunity, learn to love one another. This LW preemptively protests the label she expects (DON'T Call Me Cougar), but she implies the label by referring to her paramour as "Kid." She's dismissing him as too young for her but begging us to not judge her for fucking a child (which she's not). Fuck it, DCMC—or rather, fuck HIM. It's what you both want, and it sounds like you both enjoy one another. And FFS, woman, stop calling him "Kid" and stop trying to shove him toward women you think more appropriate for him. He doesn't want those younger women, DCMC. He wants you. Revel in the attention. And stop bitching about having exactly what you want.
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Mar 10 Chaucer59 commented on We Saw You Tag the New Tiles on a Rite Aid, Skip Down a Bike Lane Dressed Ridiculously, and Push Your Cart Like a Maniac Around QFC.
@1 could that be "Age not rage"? Maybe the tagger was responding to Dylan Thomas?
Mar 10 Chaucer59 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Drunken Demand.
If your friend thinks you're applying some kind of unfair standard to her, FIRST, just tell her you don't fuck ANYONE while they're drunk. It's a perfectly reasonable limit to set and has nothing to do with GGG. And I'm in complete agreement: I don't want to fuck a drunk, either. Anyone who has to get hammered to have sex with me is clearly not into me.
Feb 21 Chaucer59 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Bonus Blowjob Tips, Anal Sex Toy Recs.
@30 a great example that, hey, de gustibus. I like all of the above—not just tolerate, I actively enjoy semen, oysters, and vaginal secretions. That's just the way I'm wired.

Similarly, you can't use logic to explain away squeamishness. Example: ever taken the saliva swallow test? It goes like this: hold a tablespoon in your mouth until it's full of saliva. Now, take it out of your mouth and wait a couple minutes for the spoon to cool to room tempeeature. If I asked you to, would you swallow that spoonful of cool saliva? How about if your lover collected the spoonful? Would you swallow your lovers cooled saliva? Some people say yes to the first but no to the second. Still others will swallow either with no compunction. No amount of discussion or rationalization will change most people's minds about these tests.
Feb 18 Chaucer59 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: One Suggestion for First-Time, Bucket-List MMF Threesome.
And one more suggestion for the LW: peg both guys a few times before they get together. That gets them accustomed to preparing for and receiving anal penetration. This will lessen the chance of penetration pain, which can be overwhelming if you're not ready for it and for how slowly initial penetration must go.
Feb 18 Chaucer59 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: One Suggestion for First-Time, Bucket-List MMF Threesome.
@24 & @25 I definitely disagree—at least partly. I'm bi, and a lot of things turn me on about both sexes. A mouthful of pubes is not, however, one of those things. I love giving head to partners of both sexes, but I really hate picking pubes out of my teeth or—even worse—the back of my throat. For my bucket list threesomes, I prefer all parties to be sans pubic hair.
Feb 18 Chaucer59 commented on On Oxytocin, Pseudoscientific Views, and Rightwing Radio Hosts.
@1 and @3, what letter were you reading? The one I read was asking for advice, not claiming to be proof of anything.
Feb 17 Chaucer59 commented on Pee-Wee's Big Holiday.
A lot to cover in a brief space of words.

1. The poll pissed me off. Of all the nerve.

2. Paul Reubens was arrested for jerking off in a porn theater. That's rather like being arrested for drinking warm beer in a London pub, or for chewing in a pizza parlor. Reubens was clearly the fall guy in a stupid sting that was set up to prove the Vice Squad was still relevant.

3. It's not that I dislike Paul Reubens—nor the Pee Wee character, in small doses. I consider PR a brilliant comic and Pee Wee a clever construct. Clever, but I usually can't take Pee Wee except in small doses. I can OCCASIONALLY manage to sit still for an entire Pee Wee Herman movie, but not often. I certainly don't go looking for opportunities to sit through an hour or more of a what I consider a fairly one-note joke.

4. I'm glad PR got another movie. He's had a rough time getting work since that bogus arrest. Good for him. I hope he makes lots of money and finds a new audience.

5. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find proof, in anything I've said here, that I am dead inside, outside, or any combination thereof. The poll answer expressing no interest in seeing the new Pee Wee Herman movie is about as fair as my rewording the other answer to, "I have to see the new Pee Wee Herman flick because there is no humor in my life. Even my blowjobs leave everyone frowning down at me like Antonin Scalia, or like someone who's just received a blowjob from Antonin Scalia, because I suck—but not in a good way—like Nino Scalia used to suck whenever he had a chance to kneel before Clarence Thomas. So, yes, I urgently need another Pee Wee Herman movie to rescue my soul."
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Feb 11 Chaucer59 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Using "Crazy" Like That Is So Gay, Dan, Really Lame.
Okay, Dan, let's examine your logic. In your advice, when you call someone a "crazy, psycho, nutbag," what are you really saying? I think it's shorthand for, "a troubled soul whose psycho-sexual desires/symptoms/obsessions/needs are beyond my experience/understanding/training, so I haven't the foggiest how to deal with them beyond warning you to get away." So, maybe instead of saying this person is a "crazy, psycho nutjob," you just say, "Sorry, this one's problems are above my pay grade."