Calico Cat
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Nov 24, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Thanksgiving Turkey.
@10 Yeah.... we're lesbians, and her family was not so thrilled at first. They've pretty much come around now, but I still can't say I really enjoy their company. My own family has its quirks and she doesn't really like spending time with them, either. There are in-law jokes for a reason.... especially as an introvert, I just feel so drained after a day with them. If the boyfriend is similar, I can totally understand that he just wants to have a relaxing holiday and not deal with all of that.
Nov 24, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Thanksgiving Turkey.
I'm on boyfriend's side honestly -- seems too soon. I've been with my GF for 8 years and I still don't like visiting the inlaws. I'm spending this Thanksgiving with my own parents (though I've spent it with her family before).
Nov 6, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love.
@23 Thanks. That comment was indeed pretty barf-inducing. Overall, though, I thought this was a good selection of letters that represented a wide range of experiences.

@57 Ugh at her snarky dismissal of even the concept of an open marriage. Just reiterates again how important it is that Dan keeps doing what he does.
Nov 5, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Not a Rescue.
Finally... that night she stayed over with you, after the show where you ran into some friends of her abusive boyfriend, you say her boyfriend called and called your number. How did her boyfriend get his hands on your phone number?

She said the BF snooped in her phone. He probably at least suspected there was "another man" and even if he didn't know it was LW specifically, running into the BF's friend probably confirmed it if the friend told BF.
Nov 5, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Three Letters In One.
Kind of a late reply, but in case anyone else is reading, @32 (Crinoline):

There are some choices where it seems like even if you state your choice in a very matter-of-fact, non-judgey way, there are people who will instantly get defensive and react as if you're criticizing their own choices even if you aren't. From my own experience, the top two are being vegetarian and not wanting children -- even more strongly than politics or religion.
Nov 4, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love.
@2 Been meaning to ask for weeks now -- can Venn (or someone else) remind me what LMB means?
Oct 23, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Same Time Next Queer.
I guess I'm partly wondering if she sees their sex life as unfulfilling because of a mismatch like trying to have two subs or two doms in a relationship. It probably doesn't change much in terms of the question, though; in some letters the sex can be improved if the couple works on it but here it sounds like they might just be sexually incompatible for one reason or another. It also sounds like the LW is getting excited about the new relationship energy with the affairs. I do think LW should try to make it clear to the wife that the current state of things is not working, instead of secretly getting more and more bitter. I think the best possible outcome would be for them to remain friends and business partners but separate romantically, but that would probably be difficult for a lot of people.
Oct 23, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Same Time Next Queer.
I guess you are right. I used to be part of a lesbian sex discussion community on LJ and my memory of the term was a bit fuzzy, but I recall it being a source of mismatch for people. Personally, I probably wouldn't enjoy that kind of sex since turning my partner on turns me on. I don't really like being the sole "object".
Oct 23, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Same Time Next Queer.
Nocute @19, I got the sense that the wife was elderly because of the "let time play out" comment (waiting for her to die???) That comment disturbs me. I think no matter how much you claim you love your wife, if you're looking forward to her death so that you can have passion again, that's more than enough indication that the relationship should be over.

It sounds like the wife might be what used to be called "stone", not sure if that term is still used.
Oct 16, 2015 Calico Cat commented on Savage Love.
@101 It could be a crazy workaholic tech job or something.