Nov 19
Dire Mongoose commented on All The Best Men Are Taken.
@13: It's true, but think of it... we know more about the psychology of college students than any civilization that has existed upon the Earth!
Nov 18
Dire Mongoose commented on Savage Love.
Re: People puzzled by SKIRT:
I don't think it's the issue of sharing a bathroom with a crossdresser so much as it is an issue with sharing a bathroom with a man.
For most women, the societal understanding is that if a man you don't know or don't know well is in the women's public restroom, he's a pervert or he's trying to rape you. Women are socialized to think of dudes in there as something that should trigger a fight-or-flight kind of response.
Which, maybe is something that needs to change, but I can understand why someone would be made uncomfortable by it without being especially conservative or a homophobe.
I don't think it's the issue of sharing a bathroom with a crossdresser so much as it is an issue with sharing a bathroom with a man.
For most women, the societal understanding is that if a man you don't know or don't know well is in the women's public restroom, he's a pervert or he's trying to rape you. Women are socialized to think of dudes in there as something that should trigger a fight-or-flight kind of response.
Which, maybe is something that needs to change, but I can understand why someone would be made uncomfortable by it without being especially conservative or a homophobe.
Nov 17
Dire Mongoose commented on Viva Vulva Viagra!.
@87: I'd say the handjob/blowjob concession is worth something; I agree with you that they're forms of sex that a couple can have together and for a lot of men they probably represent an effort and do help.
On the other hand, "allowing" the husband to masturbate or watch porn is... I would say worthless, but sort of worse than worthless because someone might offer it and delude themselves into thinking they were making an effort thereby. Realistically, it's something the husband most likely does anyway and the wife has little or no power to police or stop.
Ultimately it comes down to what a particular person wants or needs. Some people might just need to get off, some people might really crave/need "normal" sex (or whatever kind of sex they aren't getting -- witness a multitude Savage Love calls or letters from people with fetishes their partners aren't able or willing to entertain), some people might be fine with any kind of sex that involves their partner (maybe it's about intimacy as much as getting off), and some people might be inclined to cheat no matter what. All you can do is make as many concessions to being GGG for your partner as you can.
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On the other hand, "allowing" the husband to masturbate or watch porn is... I would say worthless, but sort of worse than worthless because someone might offer it and delude themselves into thinking they were making an effort thereby. Realistically, it's something the husband most likely does anyway and the wife has little or no power to police or stop.
Ultimately it comes down to what a particular person wants or needs. Some people might just need to get off, some people might really crave/need "normal" sex (or whatever kind of sex they aren't getting -- witness a multitude Savage Love calls or letters from people with fetishes their partners aren't able or willing to entertain), some people might be fine with any kind of sex that involves their partner (maybe it's about intimacy as much as getting off), and some people might be inclined to cheat no matter what. All you can do is make as many concessions to being GGG for your partner as you can.
Nov 17
Dire Mongoose commented on Viva Vulva Viagra!.
@25: *Everyone* has to "fix" themselves or make some changes and sacrifices in their behavior to remain in a monogamous relationship.
If it's reasonable to say that someone needs to do their share of housework they wouldn't normally care about, or have/raise kids they might not want, or go to movies they might not personally care about, or care for pets they might not prefer to have, or eat foods that aren't their favorite, or spend time with their in-laws, etc. etc. etc. as part of the price of admission for their monogamous relationship, why is so unreasonable to put 'find a way to make sure your partner is satisfied, even if you aren't naturally interested' in the same bin?
If it's reasonable to say that someone needs to do their share of housework they wouldn't normally care about, or have/raise kids they might not want, or go to movies they might not personally care about, or care for pets they might not prefer to have, or eat foods that aren't their favorite, or spend time with their in-laws, etc. etc. etc. as part of the price of admission for their monogamous relationship, why is so unreasonable to put 'find a way to make sure your partner is satisfied, even if you aren't naturally interested' in the same bin?
Nov 17
Dire Mongoose commented on Viva Vulva Viagra!.
@16: Your partner has a right to some kind of regular sex.
There are a lot of ways for you to deal with that as a couple, of which "elsewhere" is only one; however, expecting them to just give up on sex indefinitely because you have is not a realistic or fair one.
If someone said that they expected their partner to not eat whenever they weren't hungry, we'd call that stupid, cruel, and unreasonable, but somehow culturally we have a blind spot about sex.
There are a lot of ways for you to deal with that as a couple, of which "elsewhere" is only one; however, expecting them to just give up on sex indefinitely because you have is not a realistic or fair one.
If someone said that they expected their partner to not eat whenever they weren't hungry, we'd call that stupid, cruel, and unreasonable, but somehow culturally we have a blind spot about sex.
Oct 13
Dire Mongoose commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day.
@1: I'm not poly, but I've had the conversation PWFU describes probably half a dozen times in my life. It's not something that comes up every day, but...
Sep 21
Dire Mongoose commented on Looking At Naked Ladies Makes You Gay.
It's all fun and games until pornography somehow turns my porn-loving wife into a gay man. I won't be laughing then, no sir.
Sep 9
Dire Mongoose commented on It Takes All Kinds.
Occasionally, I've thought that Dan Savage has a pretty sweet job.
Right here? I'm reminded that I prefer mine. I also prefer mine over Mistress Rachel's.
I support dude's right to do what gets him off, but man, I'm glad I don't have to see *too* much of it.
Right here? I'm reminded that I prefer mine. I also prefer mine over Mistress Rachel's.
I support dude's right to do what gets him off, but man, I'm glad I don't have to see *too* much of it.
Sep 8
Dire Mongoose commented on From Tea To Shining Tea.
Man. This song is even worse than I expected. Not just in the sentiments expressed (which I expected) but in the songcraft.
Someday scientists will explain why conservative nutjobs can't produce art that isn't crap.
Someday scientists will explain why conservative nutjobs can't produce art that isn't crap.
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P.S. Please add hetero sodomy.