BiDanFan
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7:05 AM yesterday BiDanFan commented on Savage Love.
Hunter @85: There is no evidence to presume AAA is female.
Are you as interested in sport as you are in sex, Hunter? I'd presume the answer is no. If you were, then you might be just as puzzled to learn someone had no interest in sport.
2:52 AM yesterday BiDanFan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Ex-Mormon Wants to Come Out as Poly to Mormon Family.
Interesting that another LW is using the phrase "explore our sexuality" to mean, not "discover what our sexual orientation is," but "have sex with multiple partners."
So what phrase should be used to mean "discover what one's sexual orientation is," in order to make it clear that it's a different thing?

David @1: Good point. Many of us adults have learned that there are things that are so important that they must be shared with our families (such as our sexual orientation), but other things that just aren't any of their beeswax. EMLDER and his wife appear to have the option of referring to their other partners as "our good friend." Given their families' likely reactions, it might be more prudent to go this route, and be more selectively open about their openness.

Donny @5: Sigh. Being in a committed, loving relationship with someone is not a "sexual proclivity." Telling people "We have a girlfriend" is different to describing what one does with one's girlfriend. When you bring your girlfriend home for Thanksgiving, do you talk to your parents about how often and how you have sex? (Rhetorical question to which I assume the answer is no.) Surprise: poly people don't either.

Donny @9: The expression is "You can't have your Kate and Edith, too."
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2:12 AM yesterday BiDanFan commented on Savage Love.
Nocute @82: Funny how the sexual people insist that lack of interest in sports is different to lack of interest in sex, but the asexuals see my point. (Aargh, Hunter SUCCEEDED in creating an argument out of thin air. Why did you let him do that, Nocute?)
I think my point is being misconstrued as interest in sex being similar to interest in sports. I am not comparing the two interests. I am comparing the two absences of interest and the way others react to those absences.
Thanks for backing me up, Griz.
Feb 20 BiDanFan commented on Savage Love.
And if you've got no interest in it, then no, it shouldn't matter whether it's sports or sex or skydiving. You just don't want to do it and it's unfair for people to keep pushing you to try.
Feb 20 BiDanFan commented on Savage Love.
I claimed it was as difficult for people who love sports to understand someone having no interest in sports as it is for people who love sex to understand someone having no interest in sex.
Feb 20 BiDanFan commented on Savage Love.
Hunter @75: You've really known enough asexuals in your life to draw generalised conclusions?

There are 7 billion people on this planet. It's okay if some of them have no interest in sex.
Feb 20 BiDanFan commented on Savage Love.
Griz @71: Thanks! Hah, didn't even notice that my comment was hitting the magic number this week :)
As Dan might say, I've been asexual for days now ;)
Asexuals should definitely be respected. We all say "it's not my bag, baby" to various things other people enjoy. People who are massive sports fans probably don't understand how I can have zero interest. (Yes, over the years quite a few have tried, with no luck, to convince me.) Why should sex be any different?
Feb 19 BiDanFan commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why Is My Gay Son Hooking Up With a Girl?.
Sportlandia @52: I didn't turn out gay either. The crushes I had on boys were cute and normal, and therefore I didn't have to give any extra thought to them. The crushes I had on girls, at the same age, were wrong and scary and had me questioning my identity. (Or would have done, if I'd even been aware at that age that bisexuality was a thing.)

When your nascent desires line up with the socially acceptable default, there's nothing to question. When Joan Jett sings "Crimson and Clover" to another girl, and you're 10 years old and not sure what she means but somehow identify with it... hello, CLUE!
Feb 19 BiDanFan commented on Savage Love Letters of the Day: Reader Advice Round-up.
Nocute @39: True -- I was just trying to address the reason why queer men want to claim Michelangelo as one of their own.
Feb 19 BiDanFan commented on Savage Love.
Ava @68: Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you've had to go through so much crap. Sadly, you're not alone -- vegans and child-free people, to name just two groups, are far too familiar with judgmental jerks telling us "you'll change your mind." I wish people could just accept that not everyone is the same, and that's ok! *hugs*