Oct 18, 2012
commented on Sorry, Kid, That Wheelchair Will Have to Wait
To #13: While there may be churches doing good things for Gay people, they are not very vocal about it. There is no equivalent to Brian Brown, Bryan Fischer, or Tony Perkins releasing statements, hosting national radio shows, or being invited on CNN constantly, on the pro-gay side. There are no large organizations such as focus on the family, or the family research council that are pro-gay. So until that happens, any pro-gay churches are just letting the anti-gay ones take over.
May 31, 2012
commented on Federal Appeals Court Declares Huge—and Hugely Damaging—Chunk of DOMA to be Unconstitutional
I think there are some really great places in bad States. Such as Asheville, NC. Ann Arbor and Saugatuck, MI. Madison, WI. Williamsburg and Charlottesville, VA. St Augustine and Ft Lauderdale and Key West, FL. Athens and Savannah, GA. and countless other place that I hate to think will eventually become just like their bigoted States. It saddens me greatly. I went to college in Asheville and fell in love with it. I wanted to go back someday, but not now that NC just became one of the evil States. Giant SIGH!!
But here's a question. If section 3 of DOMA is overturned and I marry my partner in NY State, what happens if we did move to NC? Would the federal govt still recognize it, even though NC wouldn't? And how would that work in practice? We couldn't file State income tax forms together as married but we could file federal tax forms? So confusing. I think eventually the whole thing would fall apart and every State would just throw in the towel, but who knows. But if the Federal Govt stopped recognizing our marriage because we moved to a State that didn't, then wouldn't that be forcibly divorcing us against our will? Oh boy.....
You know, I wish we were better at explaining all the good gay people bring to the world. It seems that religion, the media, all the pro-family groups just scream day in and day out about how bad we are to society, but never do I see any of the good things we bring. We create great art, we gentrify neighborhoods, we spend more, we take more trips, we contribute to the economy, we don't as often have kids but still pay taxes that support the school systems without using the system. I'm sure there are many others. And if we could get married, that would create more stable relationships, etc, etc, etc. If only people would hear about all these things.......
May 1, 2012
commented on Testaments Old & New
Dan, I hope you read this and use my thoughts. Forgive me if I say some things incorrectly but here is my take.
Isn't the part of Leviticus where it mentions "Man lying with Man as with a women" in the part where they are talking about health issues? Unclean, etc? The whole part about not eating shellfish (because back then they didn't realize you had to cook lobster while it was still alive, and the fact that shellfish often harbors some crappy germs) was to keep people healthy. Perhaps the part about women going out back when they have their period was for the same reason. Anyhow, think about the times back then. No toilet paper, little bathing, so just imagine the state of people's anus's. So perhaps this was just a passage to not have anal sex because to them at the time, the anus was a pretty dirty spot. When it says don't lie with a man as with a woman, maybe it's being specific about don't put your penis inside an anus because it was yuck (unclean). It doesn't say no oral sex. It doesn't say you can't love another man, it doesn't say you can't rub against each other or give hand jobs, and it doesn't say woman can't lie with woman as with a man. (they probably thought women didn't use their anus's that way when they were with other women.
So now of course we can get rid of this because we've learned much more about the anus and we are much cleaner.We've also learned that using a condom can protect against illness. Just like we've learned that shellfish can be eaten safely and that women are not unclean when they are having their period's.
Aug 17, 2011
commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Friend Not In Need
I have some questions about Asexuality.
Okay, as a man, it feels pretty damn good to have the penis rubbed, touched, fondled, whatever. And of course, ejaculating is an amazing feeling. So I cannot understand how anyone does not want experience this. I can understand, (slightly), not wanting to give these feelings to others. Does being asexual mean you don't want sexual feeling for yourself and you don't want to give it to someone else, or just it mean just one or the other?
Can you be asexual and still like to masturbate?
I don't know what it feels like for Woman, but I'll throw out the same questions.
Mar 22, 2011
commented on Gay Men and Sexually Transmitted Infections
SB, I have a sincere question for you. As a gay man, I know that I didn't choose it. It just is. I grew up being attracted to men, not to women. Now, you say I did choose this. So here are my questions.
By saying I chose it, you are saying that I started out being attracted to Women, and somewhere along the way, decided to ignore that attraction, and take on attraction to men instead. Well, how would that work, exactly? First, if I truly was attracted to woman, and just ignoring/suppressing that, and deciding to like men instead, then that would make me bisexual (being attracted to both). But I'm homosexual, meaning I'm only attracted to men. Trust me when I say this, if I had attraction to women as well as men, I would say I'm bisexual, not say I'm homosexual. I can't even imagine suppressing my (in your mind) attraction to women so much that I would not even say I was bisexual. So how do you think this works, exactly? Can you imagine ignoring your attraction to woman and making yourself attracted to men, like you would say I'm doing? Attraction is a strong thing. If I had attraction to woman, no matter how much I told myself no, I won't act on it, I want to be attracted to men instead, that attraction would still come out in other ways. I'd respond to woman physically, I'd pay more attention to them when they come into view, I'd want to look at pictures of them, etc. No matter how hard I tried to choose being gay instead, the attraction to women would still be there. So how in the heck do you think I could manage to be completely oblivious to woman, and only be attracted to men, if I'm choosing to be gay? Obviously the attraction to men was there all along. I respond to men physically, I want to look at pictures of men, I get all flustered when a hot guy comes near, I dream about men when I'm sleeping, I daydream about men when I'm awake, I get thrilled when a cute guy pays attention to me, but never do I do any of this with women. Can you imagine how I could choose to do that? And if my (in your mind) natural attraction to women was so suppressed that I don't even know it's there, then obviously I"m not choosing to be gay. I can't even begin to imagine ignoring my attraction to men and choosing to be attracted to women instead, so how could I do the reverse? Could you? And if not, why do you think I could?
I've tried to like other things I don't like, and it never works. You always go back to what you do like. So if I was choosing to be gay, at some point it just wouldn't work out and I"d go back to my (in your mind) attraction to women. But I'm 46 and that hasn't happened yet. Still no attraction to woman, not when I was 16 and not at 46.
I can tell you unequivocally that I did not choose being gay. I just naturally react to men differently than women. Show me a picture of Jake Gyllenhall and my libido will just explode. I sure didn't say I'm going to like him (even though I don't really). It just IS......
Anyhow, say I decide to agree with you, and I decide I don't want to choose being gay anymore. Well, I sure can't pretend to be attracted to women, it just won't work. I can try and pretend, but my heart just isn't in it. When a beautiful woman walks by, my head just isn't going to turn, and even if I make it, you can see the difference. And when good looking guy walks by, my head is going to look up, no matter how hard I try to suppress that. So how could I prove to you that I was not going to act on my attractions to men, so that I would be "normal" in your eyes? I could never sleep with men, try really hard to not notice them, but as I cannot be attracted to women no matter how hard I try, (and really, now fair would that be to her? She deserves to be with someone who truly wants her, not me trying hard to be "normal"), I would have to stay single and celibate my whole life. I could tell you until I'm blue in the face that I'm not choosing to be gay, that I want to be just like you so that society will accept me, but you won't buy it. You'll notice at 46 that I'm not married to a woman. You'll notice when my head looks up involuntarily when a cute guy walks by. You'll figure out I'm gay inside and then treat me as badly as you do out and proud gay people. So trying really, really hard to not choose to be gay is not going to get me anywhere. I'll be single, lonely, depressed, and most straight people are going to treat me as if I'm gay anyway. I could lie and say I"m straight, but astute people will decide I'm gay in there head. Not to mention that I won't be getting any benefits from the govt for being straight, since I won't have a wife.
So do you really think I could pull this off? Just so that you'll like me, you'll really really like me?
I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. No matter how much you think I'm choosing being gay, I'm gay whether I like it or not, whether I act on it or not, and whether I try hard to pretend or not. There is nothing I can do to convince you to treat me better than you do.
I would love to hear what you think I should do to rectify this and become Hallelujah!! straight like you so that I will get all the benefits that will accrue to being straight and not having all the negatives to being gay happen to me. (You know, gay bashing, not having rights, not having my partner recognized, having people hate me just because, etc). What do you think, in your infinite wisdom, I should do? Hmmm?
Jan 3, 2011
commented on Shorter Michael Medved: Lesbians Make My Dick Hard...
Regarding male vs female anal sex, could anal sex be more pleasurable for men than for women because of the prostate? I know for me, a finger in the ass is HIGHLY pleasurable because this massages the prostate. Without a prostate, I would imagine it wouldn't quite be the same?
Funny, as a gay man, I love a finger in the ass, but a penis? Not so much. I guess I just don't trust even a condom to keep me safe. But besides that, a penis doesn't bend like a finger so it can't rub and massage inside the way a finger can.
Another thing about anal sex that I never see discussed is just having the outside of the anus massaged can be terrific. Maybe it's the type of skin that makes it up, or the fact that it's a spot normally kept hidden, but external anal massage can be heaven. I'm not sure why straight men don't like even the outside of their anus touched. (or at least won't admit it).
Nov 11, 2009
commented on Meanwhile in Rhode Island
One more try at reason. Whether Loveschild is real or not, hopefully there are people on the fence out there who might enjoy this....
To the people who want to keep marriage opposite sex only.
What happens if you get your way and things stay as they are.
1. You get the sense that you "won". But what have you won?
2. There will be lots of unhappy gay people always fighting for their rights.
3. There will be lots of family members of gay people who are hurt that they can't watch their children go down the aisle. Lots of friends of gay people who can't do the same thing.
4. Lots of straight people will learn to hate marriage, thinking it a discriminatory institution and some will actually forego marriage in solidarity.
5. Your side will not get to know gay people or share in our joy. How many of us would you actually get along with? Learn something new from? Perhaps see the world a little differently from?
6. You will constantly be told you are bigots, haters, etc no matter how much you say otherwise.
7. You'll have to spend lots of money defending your position, money that could be spent on so many better things.
8. The children of gay couples will not have married parents. Not sure why you never think of them.
9. How much energy are you expending trying to keep the status quo? Think what else you can do with that energy.
What exactly do you win in this scenario? Is is worth all that you lose?
Here's what happens if we "win" and same sex marriage is allowed everywhere.
1. Many more happy people, who know can use that energy for constructive things.
2. Children of gay couples will have married parents and be better protected.
3. Tons of money will be saved and can be used for other things.
4. Once we all relax and stop calling each other bigots, etc. we might find that we have some common interests. We might find we enjoy each others company now that we aren't fighting.
5. Marriage stops being a discriminating institution, no one feels bad about joining it and some groups are not prevented from joining it so it becomes even stronger.
6. Gay people won't have to try and eke out rights here and there trying to get the things we need. Marriage will give us those rights.
And what do you lose in this scenario? I really have no idea. You can still get married. Your marriage will still be honored. Marriage will be strengthened as more people get to do it and want to do it. No one on your side has actually articulated a clear example of what you would lose. And whatever it is you think you would lose, is that really worth all the pain, all the money, all the arguments, etc that will continue as long as gay people can't marry?
You know, I grew up in rural New England. Very rural. I did not hear that there was such as thing as being gay. Did not hear about it, see it, or know anyone who was. And guess what? As soon as I hit puberty I knew I was attracted to my own sex. So there you go.
Even if you win, and then manage to get rid of all of us, new gay people will be born, and the whole cycle will start over. Let's just get past this, and start enjoying our own lives and stop trying to control everyone else. You just might discover that we aren't so bad after all!!
Nov 10, 2009
commented on Meanwhile in Rhode Island
I think maybe Loveschild is Dan himself trying to spice up the comments. Could be, makes sense, doesn't it? I'm hoping my comments got to some eyes that might actually create a spark of understanding?
Nov 10, 2009
commented on Meanwhile in Rhode Island
Your comments hurt so much and have caused me so much fury, that I will have to refrain from commenting the way I'd really like. Your last paragraph is perhaps the worst thing I've yet read from "Your" side.
You think I only have ice in my heart because I want to marry the man I love? That because I want to say before my family "I do", that I'm cruel? That because I want to take care of someone for life that I'm cruel? Words escape me. If we could get married, it would not effect your life. The worst thing that would happen to you is just the knowledge that same sex people can marry, that's it. So how exactly am I imposing anything on you? I have to live with the knowledge that people like you exist, no matter how much that imposes on me?
We can write wills, and families contest them. We can cohabitate, but not visit each other in the hospital, leave each other our social security, or oh about 1000 or so other rights that married people take for granted.
You were right, Meat Weapon, trying to appeal to someone's heart never gets you anywhere. I'm alternating between tears of grief and such anger that I don't know how to vent it. (and not just because of Loveschild. I've been feeling this way for a long time, and this time I cracked and had to say something).
Okay, one more try. Loveschild. If you got to know me, you'd like me. I'm kind, I'm thoughtful, I take care of my family. I want to share in the joy of marriage that all straight people do. Why would it be so hard for you to share in my joy, the way I share in your joy at getting married? What would happen to you? We could laugh together, share stories together, have shared experiences together. I would share my talents with you and vice versa. I'd help you out when life got your down. Why is your life better not knowing me, not letting me have the same rights as you? What exactly would be so awful for YOU?
All right, I'm done. I know I can speak from my heart and it won't get in to anyone filled with hate. And trust me, Loveschild, you do hate, because if you didn't you would want us to be as happy in life as you are. I don't seek to obstruct, impose or intimidate. I just want to marry the man I love. That's all. And that is from my heart.
You know, the only reason I can't marry a man is because I am a man. I'm tired that my life is dictated by my gender. Equal rights for all of us regardless of what's between our legs. Sometimes I wish all of us were both sexes so we would stop all this crap.
Nov 10, 2009
commented on Meanwhile in Rhode Island
Should the people then vote on everything? If so, what is the point of a legislature?
Did you know people voted to NOT give women the right to vote? Do you know if people could have voted, mixed race people would not be able to marry? Do you know that there is such a thing as the tyranny of the majority?
I am gay through no choice of my own. Even if I don't act on it, I'm still gay inside. Do you have any idea of what it's like to have people vote on your life? To have people hate you for nothing you did? To base a whole political party on making your life miserable? Can you just begin to imagine what it's like to NOT BE ABLE TO MARRY THE PERSON YOU LOVE!!!
Good Lord, is there not one bit of compassion in all of you people? No empathy, no kindness, no heart, no nothing but ice? I don't understand your hate!!! Why for the love of everything, why?
Don't you ever think that you might actually like some of us if you got to know us? That if this whole thing were over, and Gay people had the same rights, then we could just move on with our lives and all try to be happy? Think of the energy we would have for other things?
Please, for God's Sake, for Anyone's sake, please try to imagine yourself in someone else's shoes, just a little bit. And I say this to all the Repub's, Christians, etc who hate Gays. We don't rub off, I promise. We could get along, we could enjoy each other's company, we could get to know each other. Life would be SO MUCH BETTER FOR ALL OF US!!!!!