Still Thinking
Urban PNW
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Figuring it out as I go. Generally like people, but also need my alone time.

Feb 16 Still Thinking commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why Is My Gay Son Hooking Up With a Girl?.
@ 45 - to swallow is too swift :)
anyone else who gets the joke - you're welcome.

Dan - as a few other close readers have said - at the end of your piece, it sounds like you unintentionally got a girl pregnant in your teens. And then, years later, you end up adopting. Any connection there?
Feb 16 Still Thinking commented on Let's Talk About All the Lies Trump Told at His Press Conference Today.
Do we have to? Rather curl up and suck my thumb.
Feb 13 Still Thinking commented on And Then They Came for Nordstrom....
#34 David - thank you for the laugh. Also thanks to #59 curtisp.
MGB59 - the only way Nordstrom could appeal to those making under 50k would be to significantly lower their prices. Not gonna happen.
Feb 13 Still Thinking commented on Is Trump Mania Responsible for the Online Harassment Campaign Against Three University of Washington Teachers?.
“Your right to swing your arms ends just where the other man’s nose begins.”
Feb 13 Still Thinking commented on Trump's Sweeping Immigration Raids Have Started.
Thank you Emma Liz and XiaoGui for adding thoughtfully to this discussion.
And thank you to Balmont Guy for the funny.
I wonder what you do if you're a large agricultural business owner, and the executive's inherently contradictory policies put you in a bind? Start raising honeybees?
Feb 13 Still Thinking commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Straight Guy Can't Win.
OK, so orgasm feels good, it's reasonably easy for me most of the time, and I definitely want mine. I also really like my partner to come, I put a lot of energy and time towards that goal, and I'm OK with my partner coming even if I haven't/don't.

The fact is that sometimes, as much as my partner and I want to have sex, as rapid as our heart rates are, as enjoyable as the touching and rubbing and kissing is, either he doesn't get/maintain an erection or I don't get wet. So we fool around for the sake of fooling around and giving each other a good time in bed. And we remind ourselves and each other that we don't have to orgasm every time, and that there will be a next time, and that we have a pretty good track record with helping each other be happy in several domains of life.

NGRHE - it's not clear to me whether you are female or male. It also seems from your comments that arousal is something that makes you argumentative. Why?
Feb 13 Still Thinking commented on Savage Love.
Wow, this thread heated up.

From the perspective of this bi female, currently in a monogamous FM relationship, LW1's position seems at least self-centered and naive, if not somewhat selfish. I don't think it's fair for her boyfriend to have to wait around while she takes an indeterminate amount of time to figure out if and to what degree she is attracted to women. So, I would suggest taking a break from the relationship to do her exploring. During that break, it is possible that either she, or her boyfriend, or both, may meet someone, who is a better fit.

For many of the reasons mentioned above, plus the selfish vibe, it will probably be harder for her to find an interested woman than it will be for her boyfriend to find one, so she may want to take that into account.

When I was online dating a few years ago, using a couple of local sites, in a period of 6 months I swung five dates with men and one with a woman. Only two of those entailed a repeat performance. I had factors (in my late 40's, elementary school-aged child) that reduced my desirability from the typical straight/bi man's or lesbian/bi woman's perspective. Fortunately, I was appealing enough in other ways to the dude I'm with now. Because I spent way too much time and energy on the process!

I don't feel that I'm denying half my sexuality by being in a monogamous relationship with a person of the male persuasion. True, I'm not fucking any women, but I don't need to be actively fucking anyone at all to feel centered in my sexual self.
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Feb 10 Still Thinking commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Engaged to a Beard.
Hair, hair, everywhair...
@51 Roseanne - there's the visual impact of facial hair, and then there's the physical impact. Someone who likes the visual effect might not like the feel, and vice versa.

I am not a big fan of facial hair on guys because 1) I tend to like the look of a clean shaven face better, and 2) I definitely like the feel of a clean shaven face better, especially when it's rubbing up against my more sensitive skin down there.

However, 1) I think some guys look good with facial hair - some perhaps even better with it than without it, 2) facial hair that's grown out far enough is better than prickly facial hair, 3) like Nerdiness @ 41, I don't shave my own legs in the winter, so I feel less inclined to make demands on others regarding shaving, and 4) ultimately, it's the guy's body and the guy's appearance, not mine.

Current practice = a sweetie who usually has a beard and mustache because he likes it better. However, he sometimes shaves to suit himself, and very occasionally shaves to please me, during which times I enjoy myself extra.

I don't have a good feeling about this LW's relationship lasting.
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Feb 2 Still Thinking commented on Savage Love.
I can't tell if Dan is being facetious in his suggestion that the bi woman ask her lesbian lover to have a threesome with a man. Or perhaps he is showing his allegiance to the said lesbian lover by prompting bi woman to make a dick move likely to accelerate a breakup, thereby sparing lesbian lover the pain and irritation of continuing a relationship with this bad bi woman.
Jan 18 Still Thinking commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: What's Allowed In His Spank Bank?.
Harriet - No. Human nature being what it is, (recovering) alcoholics should not work in liquor stores - although the alcohol is not damaged by its abuse. Kleptomaniacs should not work in jewelry stores - though again, the merchandise is not damaged by being stolen. And people who are sexually attracted to children should not work with children.