Achieve the Four Modernizations.

Dec 12 Cynara commented on SL Letter of the Day: Short and Long.
@6 seandr: "You must calculate Jane's fair market value and send John financial compensation."

Yes, but keep in mind that it was only oral and with no kissing. He should use Schedule F to calculate Jane's proportional value depreciation. He may also qualify for an additional oral sex deduction, depending on what "is" is.
Dec 10 Cynara commented on Savage Love.
@8 I think things like introductions including pronouns at a big gathering like at the college is just going to piss people off rather than build "sensitivity". Who's going to even remember that person's name after 24 other people speak, much less their preferred pronouns? Or if someone works in a shop or something, do they really need to get all worked up if a random customer refers to them as "he" or "she" in passing?

It's not really staying closeted to not feel the need to say, "Welcome, my name is Dan, I'll be your gay waiter today." I don't really need to know the waiter's name, much less their sexual preferences and pronouns. With people that someone interacts with regularly, I can see then saying, "I'd appreciate it if you'd refer to me as 'zim'", or whatever.
Dec 2 Cynara commented on Hey, Straight Men! Stop Having Gay Sex with Your Wives and Girlfriends!.
@21- You win the Internet today! It never really struck me before that the reason some people have so much interest in minding other people's sex lives is that they have none of their own.
Nov 4 Cynara commented on Antigay Haters Reserve the Right to Discriminate Against Homosexuals on the Down Low.
I'm sure some of those Christians must be master bakers.
Oct 11 Cynara commented on Savage Love.
I love the Google Doodle of that cat:…

Sometimes cats like to lick feet too--does that make it on topic?
Sep 26 Cynara commented on SL Letter of the Day: Played Out.
This letter brings to mind a favorite passage from the novel "The World of Suzie Wong" by Richard Mason. In it, the protagonist, a young British artist living in Hong Kong, laments to an older man that he has fallen for and broken up with a Chinese bar girl because he couldn't stand to think of her plying her trade with the sailors, and the older man responds. (ch. 7)

"And it seems to me that as drawbacks go, a few sailors are really quite trivial."

I laughed. "I don't believe you mean a word of it. I'm sure that if you'd been in my place you'd have behaved in exactly the same way."

"Nonsense, my dear fellow. I was once in a very similar situation and did nothing of the kind. The lady was an actress in Chinese opera in Hankow, and I assure you very bonny. She was the concubine of a rich old gentleman, who was by no means too old, however, to enjoy her. She had also taken on a second rich gentleman, purely for financial reasons, since she was supporting a dozen members of her family. She then fell in love with me, an attitude which I heartily reciprocated.

"Now, naturally she did not tell the first rich gentleman about the second rich gentleman or myself--and indeed, if he ever found out he would have been most displeased, for as the first comer he was in the position of husband. On the other hand the second rich gentleman, in the position of lover, knew all about the first rich gentleman, and of course had no objection whatsoever--in fact it gave him a certain satisfaction to think that he was daily making the other a cuckold. But he naturally knew nothing about me, and if he had done so he would have taken the strongest exception.

"As for myself, the last arrival on the scene, I knew about them both and had no objection to either. In fact I thoroughly approved, since they relieved me of any financial burden and kept the lady out of mischief, while presenting no rivalry for her deeper affections."

"And supposing she'd taken a fourth lover?"

He twinkled. "I should have been extremely angry. However, that only goes to support my contention that the act of making love has no intrinsic importance, and that its importance depends entirely on the point of view. And in my opinion you should have been no more discouraged by those sailors than I was by my Hankow lady's two rich patrons; and indeed you might have derived the same satisfaction from contemplating their financial advantages."

Sep 20 Cynara commented on Wanna Cuddle with Strangers?.

Cuddle Party is … a Movement!

It’s about compassion, affection and touch.

It’s about touch that is not about sex.

Wait - IS THERE such a thing?

Of course there is! Though not everyone knows it or how to find it.

One problem with finding comforting touch is that if you believe that touch is about sex, then either you are afraid it might lead to sex, or you are afraid it might not lead to sex.

Not so helpful.

We humans need touch and affection. It’s no longer a question. Nurturing, welcome consensual touch is good for you. Good for your body, heart and spirit. Good for your blood pressure, your nervous system, your emotional health, your ability to connect with and trust people, your ability to respect and care for yourself, your creativity, sense of safety and comfort and belonging. Infants who are deprived of touch fail to thrive; we never outgrow the need.

Why is it so hard to find? Because for the most part, we think it has to do with sexual relationship, or at least romance, hooking up or ‘attraction’.

What if it just has do with being a human being who cares about other human beings? Kindness, compassion, comfort and nourishment.

Cuddle Party is a movement to reclaim this option in our lives.
Sep 9 Cynara commented on SL Letter of the Day: You Can't Please Everybody.
@38 & 42: Calling me an asshole is hardly the way to win me over to your side. I'll be a "personist" but not a feminist. And freedom can't be given, it can only be taken. Get off your ass and be equal already. That's what I do--I don't wait for your permission to have a job in technology and believe that women can make progress without demonizing men to do so.
Sep 8 Cynara commented on SL Letter of the Day: You Can't Please Everybody.
Ah yes, letter 2 reminds me again why I can't be a feminist. Also reminds me of our old feminist friend who says "PIV Is Always Rape, Ok?":…

And really, "Please don't tell me that porn is consensual and women freely choose to be porn stars, that they could have been Fortune 500 CEOs, Nobel Laureates, in the learned professions of law, medicine, but they freely chose porn instead." Well, there are a lot of people who might prefer to be CEOs or whatever, but not all of us are going to reach those heights, and therefore we take the best jobs that are accessible to us. If that's porn or sex work, then why should that be worse than taking a really reprehensible job like becoming a politician?
Sep 6 Cynara commented on Savage Love.
uncreative @193: With apologies to the "Abrahamic" religions, you're right--Sarah and Abraham were both royal jerks and would have done better not to reproduce. Sending his biological child and its mother out to die, and then him coming close to killing the child they had together because the voices in his head told him too. Imagine if we read about this couple and their doings in the present time!

And there are still tribal hatreds over the issue how many thousands of years later? Though I agree with you that it's probably time to just let it go.

Yes, we all really should turn to the bible more often for moral guidance.

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