commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My Girlfriend Lives With Her Ex-Boyfriend And That's Not The Problem
If this story is true as relayed, KNIFE needs to stop relying on his girlfriend to deal with legal matters. It would be overwhelming to have someone look to you as judge, jury, and penal system if this type of crime was committed against someone you've known for a short period of time (intimately, granted, which changes things) and they didn't want to take it straight to law enforcement.
You'd wonder about the details. You'd wonder about the motivations. You might not be quite sure how serious the situation was. Immediately I think I'd confess that I have no specific expertise in how to handle coercion involving a threat of lethal force subsequent to the act and would personally call 911.
She's not meant to solve this problem for him. He's not meant to solve it! If a drunken idiot threatens someone with a knife, get the people who are trained and paid to handle the situation involved. Throwing his girlfriend into a role of responsibility for her ex's violent and disturbing behavior seems to have facilitated an unwinnable circumstance.
Go to the cops, man. And, of course, that guy should not be living in her house.
commented on I, Anonymous
I asked a couple who were parking in front of my apartment tonight to skooch back 5 feet toward the curb so that they weren't taking up 5 feet of unparkable space plus the space they were taking up. This is my "hate people for doing shit that I hate" thing.
I said, "excuse me! Hi there! Could you back up and park closer to the curb? ... It just makes the whole block more efficient if the people parking near the curb are sort of hugging it."
I was as annoyed as usual that this wouldn't be what crossed their mind as the first consideration in parking in a neighborhood with more cars than it can handle. But they just moved their car back a few feet, one using hand gestures and the other working the gas and brake.
Then I was happy they moved their car just because I asked. Then I felt bad for saying something while I was annoyed to a couple of people who seemed nice.
So right now I'm trying to figure out how to talk to people like a human being without requiring them to participate in my thing. It didn't seem to matter to them at all, but they went along. I was polite. Everything went well. My heart is still racing.
Dec 31, 2015
commented on The Thing I Can't Stop Thinking About in Making a Murderer
"Of course, as he's drawing it, you think: How could he envision such a thing if he's really not that bright and if it didn't happen?"
Well, no, you don't actually think that. You think, "he drew a rectangle with a stick figure on it the way a kid would if he was told to draw a person tied to a bed. Now, how is that evidence?" Which is a much scarier thought.
Aug 12, 2015
is getting somewhere with this.
Jul 14, 2015
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: FWB Goes from Drunk and Hot to Sober and Boring
@9: I have bipolar...friends who I know reacted to SSRIs by dropping interest in some of the things that made them feel alive. Meds for a while, alcohol for a while, and a manic obsession with something for a while were some of their regular, alternating self-regulation techniques.
Until I discovered that, uh, they were bipolar, they didn't really know why they kept having to adjust their coping mechanisms. And having a decades-long, continual misdiagnosis of depression, and ever-increasing SSRI dosage in their treatment, they noticed that SSRIs helped them settle on alcohol as their one stable self-medication while also squelching their odd passions. When the SSRIs stopped, as occasionally they did, coping mechanisms would begin to vary again.
Jul 14, 2015
commented on Housing Affordability Committee: Tear Down This Parking! (And Build Homes for Humans!)
Let's ask the question, "how many more cars will fit on Capitol Hill?" We can build more and more storage for them and say we've solved the problem of where the cars will sit while not being used. There are a few thousand cubic feet of earth we can displace. But the car-dependent lifestyle and parking entitlements that enable it can borrow against the future only as long as we all continue to argue that car ownership in high density neighborhoods is a right rather than an imposition.
At rush hour, driving from 15th and John to the nearest fast-food drive-through in Rainier Valley, 4 miles each way, took me 1 hour and 15 minutes. Getting to and from Capitol Hill in a car when all of the rest of our cars are doing the same thing is a dysturban nightmare.
Accommodating more cars with more parking spots doesn't fix any problem except for where all these cars are going to be kept when they're not causing traffic. This idea that we all cram into a dense neighborhood because of its convenience but can still insist that we retain our suburban motorist access to everything that's not within walking distance is a dead end.
The urban roadways in high density, transit rich, walkable neighborhoods are not something that you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes...
I put a 128 gb SSD in my Macbook, replacing its 500 gb HD. The screaming speed of the upgrade astounded me. But I didn't ever think that I should be able to park my 100 gb iPhoto library on it just like I did when it took me a minute and 20 seconds to load up Photoshop instead of the new 5 second load time. I parked my big files on a 1 TB network drive in SODO and called Uber to drive me there if I needed something I legitimately, but infrequently, owned that much storage for.
Jul 13, 2015
commented on I, Anonymous
The consensus seems to be that, in order to be happy, you need to pay attention to market forces when you choose what to study in college. The forces of capitalism have created a system where you can only be happy if you throw away your dreams and study the fields that are in demand. Earning the money your parents did is the baseline and everyone should be paid more. Money is the measure of both happiness and self worth.
There was a documentary I caught for about 5 minutes where they were talking to a man in a community where paper money was just recently introduced as a way to track value without the constraints of bartering directly with the person whose product you need. The economy had recently dropped and had apparently hit them earlier and stuck with them longer than the rest of the country. They asked, "do you prefer money or trading?" He said, "I like money, but it's not as valuable now as it was before. It's better to go direct." The swap he made between goods or services not being as valuable as they were when the economy was good and his idea that it was the money losing its value blew my mind a little. Sort of obvious in a financial science sense, but it caught me off guard.
The other day Mudede blogged about some guy on First Hill who wrote about how everything he worked so hard for – his degree, his condo, his job that he hates but puts in his time because that's how you buy happiness – turned to shit because there were homeless people on drugs in his neighborhood. He was paying good money for his happiness and now these human beings who never earned anything were ruining it by being in the neighborhood where the services they need are offered.
He had to witness some sort of act in a park that he didn't like and needed more space for cars. And he had earned it by obeying the rules, being on time, and paying a shitload of money to live near downtown.
Charles said something to the effect of, "isn't there something beautiful about being happy living on the streets?" The comments were all what you'd expect.
I can't think of a way to put it more succinctly than he did, but there just seems to be so much confusion about where happiness comes from. If you went to college to get a computer science degree because you knew it was the most promising for success on the financial scale, you're going to find a good degree of dissatisfaction with your career. The money you can make if you can be good at it without having a passion for it will go a long way toward making you think you feel passion, I think.
Still I'm unsure what satisfaction people get from their career if they don't do what they're passionate about. How do you even find your career if passion isn't guiding you. A friend puts himself through school working crappy jobs because he's passionate about going to school and he's fucking happy. A previous coworker did an amazing job editing an online newsletter for Windows and passionately pursued photography in her other 16 hours of the day. My sister teaches kindergarten and loves being a mom and nothing I've ever seen her do seems like she felt like politics or some kind of ominous-ism was the reason for it. She didn't even go to college.
Who here is happy? What could you lose, knowing you'll never recover it for the rest of your life, that would preclude you from ever being happy again? Would being Donald Trump change that?