Achieve the Four Modernizations.

nocutename
Berkeley, California
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TMI

  • Dan Savage or Charles Mudede
  • No legs and a million dollars or A million legs and no dollars
  • Where's your hairiest square inch?: my head
  • What do you like to read when you poop?: anything in the bathroom
  • Bring It On or Stomp the Yard

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9:12 AM nocutename commented on Savage Love.
@88 in continuation:
I mean, I understand that many women don't want to read things modeled on the traditional romance novel or its conception of women, of gender roles, of the way relationships between men and women should "ideally" go. I get that completely.

I hate those books, that type of literature, myself.

But that doesn't adequately explain slash/M/M fiction or slash/M/M fanfic to me.
8:25 AM nocutename commented on Savage Love.
Mr. Ven,
Yes, the parallel of the straight woman who expects all gay men to be her shopping friend is equally dismaying, because it reduces real men to accessories for women.

I think that unlike porn, we have pop culture and shows like "Will and Grace" to thank for the idea that a gay man is just like your best girlfriend, but snarkier.

You wrote: "But when the large majority of MM fiction is written by women, written for women, and sufficiently disdainful or at least disregarding of actual MM experience so that not only are real gay men writing about real gay experience shoved aside but the conversation is derailed, isn't there something problematic?" and I would have to say that "problematic" isn't the word I would use, so much as "interesting" is.

I think it's rather fascinating (if offensive to actual gay men), that women want to see highly masculine yet somehow feminized men acting out traditionally straight scenarios. Why do they want to do that? It can't just be the love of dick I see mentioned here, because they attach too much relationship stuff to the stories.

Then again, I really don't understand the genre of romance that sanguisuga linked to @61. And there's so much of it: people having sex (and falling in love with) aliens, animals, fish, dinosaurs, trees. Why? What need is that genre fulfilling? I find it intriguing.

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7:07 AM nocutename commented on Savage Love.
@fif: I'm straight, and while I would indulge a boyfriend in an FMF fantasy (with the 2 respective Fs having very little interaction) for his sake, I have no interest in it for my own. And while I would love to be part of a MFM scene, I would not expect any straight man I was involved with to have much interaction with the other M.

And yet I cannot tell you how often men I am involved with bring up the idea, not of an FMF scene, but of a FFM one to me, knowing I am about as close to a 0 on the Kinsey scale as it's possible to be.

They seem surprised that I, a straight woman, have no interest in making out with one of my straight or lesbian (or bi) friends, although I'm pretty sure that they would be amazed if I suggested that they, straight men all of them, should have no problem making out with one of their male friends (or any man), either as a show for my entertainment, or just "because."

That's due to the persistent influence of F/F porn for straight men--and a Katy Perry song--in my opinion. When I was much younger, lines seemed to be drawn more clearly, and I wasn't asked nearly so often to have a sexual interaction with a woman for a man's benefit--or to run across men who were surprised that I didn't routinely make out with my girlfriends (I'm using the word in its platonic sense).

Keep your fantasies, by all means, but be aware that they're fantasy not reality.
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6:56 AM nocutename commented on Savage Love.
Mr. Ven,
Thanks for the reminder--I had forgotten about that!
While I would never dream of comparing myself in any way to Jane Austen, the fact that you've included me as a member of any group she's in is enough to make me "fly!"
6:46 PM yesterday nocutename commented on Savage Love.
sanguisuga: I look forward to reading it.
6:31 PM yesterday nocutename commented on Savage Love.
Okay, Mr. Ven, what is the Austen Disclaimer?
I feel that I should know this (and I well might, but not with this designator).

11:50 AM yesterday nocutename commented on Savage Love.
@sanguisuga: The very first piece of erotica I ever wrote was based on a Savage Love letter from back in 2003!

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Conte…

It was also the very first erotic story I ever published (though only in e-book format). All my erotica is in the form of short stories; much of it, but not this, is somewhat autobiographical.

If you're interested, here it is:

http://www.amazon.com/Kiss-Dark-Book-Thr…

The story is written under the pseudonym Grace Moskwitz, and it's called "Dirty Laundry."
11:39 AM yesterday nocutename commented on Savage Love.
@sanguisuga: there should be an "erotica exchange" here on Slog.

I smiled when you described your erotica as pure, unadulterated smut. When people hear I write erotica, I guess they imagine a Harlequin-type romance or a bodice-ripper of the kind that you see in airports with a Fabio-type on the cover, which features lots of reds, pinks, purple, and an alliterative title written in big, dramatic script.

When they ask a question, I'm frequently reduced to saying: "no, not like that. Like porn. Hardcore smut." That usually results in an awkward silence and then an embarrassed laugh.

Keep going! Make art out of your lust.
11:07 AM yesterday nocutename commented on Savage Love.
@52: I also write erotica (and publish it, too). I have no romance in it, though.
I read and enjoy gay and lesbian erotica, it's not romantic in the way I would imagine slash is. I appreciate any erotica that is well-written, in which the sense of desire comes through strongly.
I write stories that feature straight participants, because I feel fairly confident that I can capture the realism. Also because while I appreciate any well-written erotica, I tend to run straight scenarios in my head when I masturbate.
10:09 AM yesterday nocutename commented on Virginity Pledges and Abstinence Education.
Man, this is sad.
It's just sad.
 
 

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