Jul 18, 2014 Manwich commented on Savage Love.
@66 -- I really don't think my brother is closeted. If there is some homoeroticism deep inside his heartmeat it is probably not particularly abundant.
My brother was the designated driver that night, so he was kinda standoffish and unfriendly. He is also blond and pretty which might be enough for some folks - particularly owing to the bit of human nature that makes us convince ourselves that something is true merely because we want it to be. Add booze and it doesn't surprise me too much that somebody would make a really terrible drunken pass at him.
If anything I'm a little insulted that I've never been hit on by a guy (then again I guess I just don't hang out around enough gay guys - or republican senators).

@65 -- the tonality of your comments just keep coming off as rude to me -- or at least lightly judgmental. As you do seem to suffer from a lack of information about me, this strikes me as a bit perplexing.

I have one second hand friend who is gay that I know through my girlfriend. We're genial enough with each other, but he is more properly her friend than mine.
I live on the west coast and I grew up in a theater town called Ashland Oregon. It was a place where people are seemingly safe to come out of the closet and I've met a number of people who are gay (flamboyantly so) and others who were simply more reserved with how they presented their sexuality. I suppose it is possible that I am more reserved than you are or you make a much stronger effort than I do to become friends with people. Either way -- I have less than a handful of people that I would choose to designate as my friend. A older gay couple lives next door to me, but I am no more friendly to them than I am with any other neighbor -- meaning I respect their privacy, wave hello and goodbye, and engage in friendly small talk with them on occasion.

I don't know if I come off as unfriendly to people of different sexual orientations, but I guess that is entirely possible. It's hard for me to judge that since I'm in no real position to.

I'm not completely sure how my girlfriend chooses to classify herself since a great deal of that is up to her, but she has had relationships with men and women and that doesn't bug me. She has told me that she thought that one day she would end up living in a trailer with a bunch of lesbians roving the pastoral countryside listening to Annie Defranco -- and instead she is surprised that she ended up in a monogamous relationship with me. We love each other. We're best friends.
Jul 17, 2014 Manwich commented on Savage Love.
@58 It seems like I'm being browbeaten for not having any gay friends, which is something I don't quite get. I don't befriend people on the basis of their sexuality. Undoubtedly I've met people who happen to be homosexual, but sexual orientation isn't something you typically need to wear on your sleeves, and it wouldn't be something I use as a qualifier for determining friendworthiness. (Unless your stance is any gay will do?)

I like Dan Savage and David Sedaris because they're funny -- being gay is something that helps make them who they are but it isn't the reason why I like to read what they write.

Besides, even if conservative christians are convinced that gays are everywhere in the US, they are still a minority of the population. In a similar strain I don't have any friends who are disabled or Native American (much less a gay disabled native american) but that doesn't mean I need to get out into the world and hold tryouts to find somebody who is and then befriend them on that sort of shallow basis.

.... I'm not all that worried that I would lead folks on by simply being in a gay bar -- but that is a consideration I've made out of my own self proclaimed ignorance. Mostly I just don't want to be rude and I would rather not go to places where I would make other people uncomfortable. That is essentially the basis of what I wrote to Cap'n Savage, and he did a good job of giving me a thoughtful answer, as have other people further up the thread. I appreciate it.
Jul 17, 2014 Manwich commented on Savage Love.
I don't really make friends very easily -- and what 'gay' friends I have made apparently can't resist the gravitational influence of my brothers crotch. :p (It's like Jupiter)

I'm not inclined to hold grudges. If a friend borderline molested a younger sibling of mine -- then I would be furious. As it happened, my older brother got his crotch grabbed, and call me cavalier, but it cracked me up. I've let it slide. My brother can handle himself without me handling him for him. And if I ever see or hear something along those lines again I'll say something. But at the moment it's just gravy under the bridge.

But really -- does anybody ever really go out and seek out people of set demographics to be their friend? I'd love for Rachel Maddow to be my friend -- but I'm guessing no matter how many personals I put out into the local newspaper informing the gay public that a straight white guy is looking for one or more of them to platonically canoodle in the night -- that I'd probably come up short. (Which is a shame -- the one thing I've learned from lifetime television is that a gay friend is always somehow there for you and is full up of supportive self-affirming romantic advice whenever you need it.)

Not looking for a threesome or anything either.
The idea that makes me uncomfortable about going to a gay bar is this notion I have that gay guys would buy me drinks - and I'd end up feeling guilty about it. I realize this thought experiment is irrational or possibly wildly opptomistic -- but I suppose we all have our fallacies.
Jun 23, 2014 Manwich joined My Stranger Face
Jun 23, 2014 Manwich commented on Savage Love.
I'm not batman, so I can't say I walk the streets and perform feats of misogynistic fighting heroism.

Mostly I keep it simple. I'm aware that I'm a big and potentially scary guy - and I try to make sure that I'm not making anybody uncomfortable by being too friendly, starring at them, sitting near them on an empty bus, etc.

I imagine women receive a consistent amount of unwarranted and unwanted advances from men, and I make it a point to not contribute to that sort of harassment fatigue.