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May 22 rp commented on Savage Love.

I am with the gay guy. I don't see the big deal. I think she is buying into a ridiculous "I am so violated by anything that makes me uncomfortable" paradigm. So he humped her till he came. Did she ask him to stop? She surely would have mentioned it if she did. Did she tell him in advance she was not comfortable with it? I am pretty sure not. So where is the violation? Do guys have to ask a woman if they may come now?

If she wanted to speak up but didn't, which doesn't even seem to be her point, then let that be a lesson to her. How can he have known?

And did she tell him to never grab her breasts and he did anyway? Doubtful.

So, while it is possible he knew she would not like it and did it anyway, I doubt it.

At my age, if it were clear a woman did not want to have sex, but I wanted to come, I might dry hump or stroke myself while we made out. And I might be hyper vigilant to make sure she was not upset or not comfortable with it. But to expect a 14 year old to do so would be absurd. It is the opposite of if he had taken her clothes off or had non consensual sex. he left her clothes on, did not stick it anywhere and she was willing to hump. And then he did it till he came. Where is the out of line there?

As for the guy with the wife, congrats on having a cool wife. I think there is very little doubt that she would be bothered by either if you presented them in a chill fun way. she might not be into it, but doubtful she would b e turned off in any big way. People with positive kink attitudes like she has generally are cool with such garden variety things.

Now, it is very unlikely. But if she is quite into being submissinve and feminine and really likes him to be masculine and assertive and all male, there is a chance this would be an attraction killer. But I think she would know that by now. And women that are kink friendly are very unlikely to be that way. Into dom sub, sure. But trying to hold a guy to a rigid sex role, unlikely. So, bring it up already. But make it positive and fun.

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Nov 16, 2012 rp commented on Is The Lava Lounge Closing?!?.

I agree it is a cool place. But I certainly don't have any illusions about a place filled with bearded hipsters any different to me than filled with so called yuppies.

Oct 17, 2012 rp commented on Savage Love.

Ya know, we all have secret opinions about knowing more about something, or what is best for our partner than they do. that is life. Live with it. so the guy is pro life. If he believes life begins at conception, that is fair. There is no proof because "life" is a construct anyway with no real meaning but what we give it. And if he is pro life, it seems reasonable that he would believe it is of value to protect that life. I am pro choice because it is most convenient to be. But I am not going to tar and feather anyone who is pro life. Many of them make decent arguments, very different from the political bullshit that is intent on controlling women's bodies. There are some people who sincerely believe life begins at an earlier point than my position of convenience. And their opinions about abortion grow from that.

Now, the ones I like best are the ones who say, well, the law allows it and it may be just as well. But if it were up to me, and I could do so without oppressing other people, I would somehow prevent any abortions from ever taking place. I find that a pretty legit position.

Now, if you are concerned about what would happen if you got pregnant, that is a legit concern.

But to break up with someone just because he sees the world a little different than you and has an opinion about it he is foolish enough to share, then he is well rid of you.

Don't get me wrong. I am pretty liberal and democratic, and I would have a hard time dating someone who was a conservative. One of those reasons is they are too damn dogmatic and close minded.

I am no more willing to date a dogmatic close minded liberal. I think you did him a favor.

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Oct 17, 2012 rp commented on And Now, a Message from Some Gays Against Gay Marriage.

I am not so quick to dismiss it. Obviously, I could be putting words in their mouth, but what if their statement is that chasing cultural approval and sanction is kind of a bullshit game. I am more inclined to have uniform civil unions as a right for all people, and leave marriage for the religious, conservative, etc. Gays want acceptance, most anyway. And they want the legal protections afforded married couples. But maybe chasing "state sanctioned gay marriages" is a misdirection, standing around asking for a handout instead of demanding uniform legal rights. I am all for legalized gay marriage, but I would be just as in favor, or more so, of uniform civil unions for all and no state sanctioned legal marriage for anyone. Of course, if anyone wants to call themselves married now, they can and should. The state can not tell us how to speak. Anyway, maybe that is their point, in which case, I agree.

Oct 10, 2012 rp commented on Savage Love.

I think it is definitely a case of DTMFA. IF I had a girlfriend who could not respect my opinion on a subject that is completely arbitrary and philisophical, so much so that she was unsure of the relationship, I would dump her so fast. Never mind a fake pregnancy scare.

Life or not life is all a matter of personal opinion. Of course, I do think that banning abortion is a different subject entirely.

Frankly, if you could somehow completely divorce the life or not question, from the control of a woman's body issue, women might have very different opinions. Consider, women tend to be very spiritual, and might consider that there is something spiritually special about that clump of cells, they are also often very pro animal rights, which could also transalate into pro life. Plus, women are always talking about that special feeling they have once they are pregnant. No woman ever really wants to abort. They just consider the alternative worse. Is there any woman on this board who has ever had an abortion and felt it was completely like having some type removal like a skin tag or a small tumor growth. I doubt it. the bottom line is, the life or not life debate tends to be more about how it allows you to believe in abortion rights or not, more than a carefully considered choice in and of itself. Conservatives use the life argument to support control of women's bodies. Liberals use the not life argument to de3ny control over women's bodies. Both might have different opinions if it did not line up with other political opinions.

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Jul 12, 2012 rp commented on Text From South Lake Union.

While I am sure there was an amount of hard work involved, It is extremely arrogant for someone with a certain gift, and a certain cultural background that appeals to white middle class urbanite readers, and the good luck to be a working paid professional writer, to wonder why some people work so many hours and work so hard for a company. It is so they can try to build a life for themselves and their families. And if you are fortunate enough to not have to do that, good for you. But no need to gloat, or pretend that you somehow are sacrificing or giving of yourself. If it is such a terrible soulless place, why are you even in south lake union? Did you buy a condo there or something. Must be nice. Quit trying to pretend you ar anything but another fortunate, monied denizen living way better than most americans.

Jul 12, 2012 rp commented on Text From South Lake Union.

I am a bit torn. on the one hand, a stopped car is safer to cross in front of than trying to run between them. On the other hand, if there is no traffic whatsoever, that is safest. On the third hand, If a car stops to let a pedestrian pass, about 505 of the time, the asshole behind them will try to pass them in the turn lane or opposite direction lane. So, pedestrians, watch out for that. Much less safe than cars that are approaching and can see you, to have a driver with blocked visibility, and who is also annoyed, thus accelerating unnecessarily, hitting you in the turn lane.

Jul 12, 2012 rp commented on Text From South Lake Union.

True, if obvious. But it beats an all white affluent neighborhood like Ballard. The fact that Brown people are becoming intricately entwined with the white middle and upper class is noteworthy in and of itself.

Jun 9, 2012 rp commented on Into the Woods.

Sarah, if you want to be respected as a writer, please try to avoid going to the comments and writing snarky responses to negative feedback. Better to consider them, then accept or dismiss them as you see fit to try and make you a better writer. Commenting back just makes you look amateurish.

Jun 7, 2012 rp commented on Into the Woods.

So, I gather the point of this article is that you are better than the weekend crowd, but you don't want to sound like a total ass so you make up a vague ending.