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Ibentrudaropes
Sancti Ludovicci
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Bio

Was Henny Youngman the first cuckold? "Take my wife -- Please!"

TMI

  • Tushy or Tuchus
  • Punch Buggy or Slug Bug
  • Zune or Segway
  • What's your favorite Charles Mudede post?: The sexist one with the boobs
  • SF or LA

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Ibentrudaropes is telling a politically incorrect joke. .
Jun 4 Ibentrudaropes commented on Savage Love.
@53 - nocutename, you are correct, I can last and last. Should you ever happen upon the Showme state, I'd be happy to show you ;p
Jun 4 Ibentrudaropes commented on Savage Love.
In regard to "He Can't Come". I have had a similar problem all of my adult life, but I think the issue might be as much one of focus as the death grip causation.

Back when I began masturbating there wasn't an internet to go to learn about the need for lube, varying techniques or the like. By the time I was 19 and had my first sex partner willing to give me head or "go all the way", I had been jerking off about 5 times a day for 6 years.

To make matters worse, pre-mature ejaculators were the foil to be humiliated in most of the drive-in movies we then teenagers watched. Not to be the brunt of that type of humiliation, I even jerked off in advance of going on dates, or just going out at all, to avoid a situation where I might get lucky, but wind up finishing before I started. So by the time I had my first real sex, I'd habituated myself into coming in only one way.

"Retarded" or "Delayed Ejaculation Syndrome" became just as embarrassing as what I feared about being a pre-mature ejaculator. Chicks can fake an orgasm, guys can't. There have been a few times over the years, less than a dozen, where I'd be so aroused or unconcerned about not being able to come, that I'd be able to finish. Eventually, I did learn that if I was in a certain position (on bottom) I could come about half the time. On bottom would be my position when masturbating, which might have something to do with it.

I really think it might be as much a focus issue as an issue of death grip, at least for me. I've tried hypnosis therapy, which didn't work, abstaining from coming for as long as 3 or 4 months, which also didn't work. I've tried changing my technique when masturbating, which also didn't work. I even met a woman who said she could make any guy come with her mouth, even sort of guaranteed it. That didn't work either. But those 10 or 12 times when it did work gave me hope.

Whatever the cause, I'm glad to hear Dan's comment about the guy's dick not being broken, it just works differently.

Thanks for that, Dan.
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Apr 24 Ibentrudaropes commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Wedding Party.
The most damning part of the letter for LW is that she doesn't have a frickin' clue how bat-shit crazy she comes across. She truely believes herself to be the person with clean hands in the whole scenario! If I was married to this wench I'd run like a fucking gazelle to get away from her.
Feb 12 Ibentrudaropes commented on SL Letter of the Day: What a Kackass.
@86: Thank you for the lugubrious rant, Dusty. Now if I just knew what a "fat oil elephant" is?
Feb 12 Ibentrudaropes commented on SL Letter of the Day: What a Kackass.
@68 - I'll probably get in trouble for letting you in on the secret that us "smoking hot pieces of ass" all know, but I'll chime in anyway since you seem like a nice person. On our 18th brithdays, we smoking hot pieces of ass are implanted with a computer chip that sends out an electric impulse to all the other smoking hot pieces of ass when we approach each other. Without this implanted chip we smoking hot pieces of ass might accidently have sex with a run of the mill "hot piece of ass" by mistake.

So here is how it works. When we approach each other on the street our implanted chips communicate with each other and and set up random encounters. The smoking hot piece of ass club has set up sex rooms all over the place in major metropolitan areas. When our chips communicate with each other we are automatically directed to one of these sex rooms. The chip sends a signal to the door and when we approach we just walk in and jump into the smoking hot pieces of ass sex orgy that is going on.

Of course, @68, you'd have no way of knowing this because you're not a smoking hot piece of ass. The reason it's a secret is because we don't want the "less than smoking hot pieces of ass" to get all bummed out over how great we have it. So, you see, we're keeping the secret for the benefit of your feelings, not ours.

You're welcome.
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Feb 12 Ibentrudaropes commented on SL Letter of the Day: What a Kackass.
@63 - I'd have to disagree, I think all people make mistakes in life. Some make bigger mistakes than others, but everybody makes mistakes and most of our biggest mistakes in life involve something of a sexual nature. I think that WLAA knows she's selfish, and I think she was conscious of how silly and selfish her feelings came across in her letter, that's why she was writing it. She was being honest about her selfishness and her feelings, at least in her letter. She knows she shouldn't feel that way, but she does. I give her credit for recognizing that.
Feb 12 Ibentrudaropes commented on SL Letter of the Day: What a Kackass.
@61 - it would be even awesomer if we found out the WLAA's husband was getting fucked by her out of town lover and that the out of town lover actually told WLAA's husband everytime he fucked him that he did indeed love him!!!
Feb 12 Ibentrudaropes commented on SL Letter of the Day: What a Kackass.
@57: I agree it's a scummy way of getting an open marriage, but she wants to preserve her marriage because she genuinely loves her husband and wants to protect the family, which includes the kiddos. Unfortunately, most of society isn't quite ready for the brutal truth when it comes to issues of sex. I don't see any way for her to tell her husband the real truth, not only about what she's done, but about what she wants for the future - some occassional stray dick, without it ending the marriage. Nobody wins by her being brutally honest here. What does her husband get from brutal honesty? Divorce, hurt, resentment, a broken family. On the other hand, like Dan has said many times, maybe the husband has been thinking of eating out the hot little number over in accounting while he's giving his wife those thunderous orgasms, but he's afraid to bring it up to her because she is such a faithful wife and all. She's in the position she is in, she fucked up, who hasn't? What's the best outcome for everybody?
Feb 12 Ibentrudaropes commented on SL Letter of the Day: What a Kackass.
WLAA - if you want to get caught being a CPOS then take Dan's advice and say "So if you ever cheat on me, honey, I don't want to know about it. Just do it discreetly so you don't mess up our marriage and our family life. And I'll do the same." The first words out of your wonderfull, talented tongued husband will be "so who the fuck are you fucking behind my back, bitch?" You'll lie, WLAA, and say "no one" and your hubby will pretend to believe you for about as long as it takes him to download the history from your cell phone, or take a few hours off work to see where the fuck it is you go for six hours in the middle of the day. So if you want to get busted, WLAA, then go ahead and take Dan's advice.

A few other Pinnochioisms I picked up from your letter - "He has fucked her forever without ever once telling her that he loves her". I'm sure he's told you that, i'm also sure he's told that same line to the personalityless dancer's bod chick, and to the other half dozen or so gals he's shagging when he's not with you and the dull dancer. Here's another - "I'm risking so much - the honesty of my marriage". WLAA - the honesty of your marriage evaporated 4 years ago when you shit all over "this wonderful guy, my husband, who I don't want to fuck all the time but who ALWAYS goes down on me and gives me thundering orgasms and is seriously brilliant and insightful and wonderful". And yet another "we love each other so much". I'm sorry, WLAA, but this guy doesn't love you and I don't think you really love him. Actually, it sounds like you don't even know that much about him if you believe his lines of bullshit.

Here's a couple of truths I recall from your letter - "She's an idiot" and "And I'm thinking I'm an idiot". I'd have to say yes on both counts.

Here's what I'd do if I were in your position. First, I'd break all contact with this guy for at least 6 months. After that, if you really want an open marriage, I'd say something like this to your husband while he's in the middle of giving your one of those thundering orgasms "Honey, I think it would be so hot to watch you do this to another woman". Assure him you can handle that and he go the extra step of setting it up for him. Then, after he's had his fun, tell him it's your turn. After that, you might want to take the next steps toward bringing up the open marriage concept to him. However, I have a feeling, WLAA, that if the shoe were on the other foot, you couldn't or wouldn't tollerate your husband banging some other chick, even if she were "dull" like Dancer girl. You'd probably be "SICK WITH JEALOUSY" over the very thought.
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Jan 23 Ibentrudaropes commented on Savage Love.
@52 Good Lord, what would you have them advertise for, a "person" with a BBC? They were looking for a BBC and the person with the BBC was looking for a white couple - they got together and satisfied their mutual desires so everyone should be happy. Should they offer their partner therapy because you think he should be emotionally scarred?
 

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