Token Straight Old dude
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Apr 12 Token Straight Old dude commented on Savage Love.
Disagree re porn's impact on society.

Almost all of the straight porn out there follows a script as detailed as an 18th century gavotte. Its payoff is a passionless, methodical guy coming onto the face or other bodily part of his partner, who is of course transported by ecstasy. I have never had sex with a woman who (at least to me) said she wanted or enjoyed this. But in porn, it's the norm.

Okay, so we have fantasies of mastery and degradation, and need to be GGG about them. I get it. But the sheer ubiquity of this scenario has driven out almost every other possibility. This damages society by convincing men that women want to be degraded in this way, and women that men want to do so, by and large.

It also deprives us of good sex in porn. Sure, there are a few specialty sites out there, most of them pretty gauzy. (Indeed, 'female-friendly' is how they are marketed as if they're something guys have to put up with, while rolling their eyes.)

I take this personal because I really enjoy a well-earned orgasm, preferably that involves several helpless, shuddering moans. Once I smashed a hole in her bedroom wall. And I really enjoy hard sex in a spirit of caring for and about one another. Both of these are pretty much absent in porn.

I'm lucky I got a chance to figure this out in a previous era. I'm sure younger people do too, but they do so in spite of the prevailing role models. Gotta think this is behind much of today's attitudes of suspicion and wariness about sex in relationships.
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Jan 22 Token Straight Old dude commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Who's Your Survey Monkey? I'm Your Survey Monkey!.
Another condition might be added: "...knowing that by preferring one of these, you are opening the door to the other one coming true."
Jan 22 Token Straight Old dude commented on Savage Love.
Well, I'm a straight white guy, and I've been rejected because of my race. Hell, I've been told I ought to not even think about women of a different race. Not specific people, but off-limits in general.
Oct 5, 2015 Token Straight Old dude commented on Savage Love.
PS Anybody notice a few definitions of 'ace' out there are pretty much at odds with one another?
Oct 5, 2015 Token Straight Old dude commented on Savage Love.
Like your answer to LIAR. It says you have to be clear about lacking a commitment to monogamy, but thankfully does not share in the conventional wisdom that this means you have to give your partner, who already understands what you feel, a blow-by-blow account of each and every time you go off and feel that way.

It shares what's in the heart, but not what's private. Isn't that what love is?
Aug 4, 2015 Token Straight Old dude commented on Savage Love.
My gf and I have a civil union. That does not mean we are opposed to the marriage of any other couple, gay or straight. All it means is that we do not want to get married and a civil union works for us.

Q: Is that okay?
Jan 23, 2015 Token Straight Old dude commented on Savage Love.
As she researches the options, Small Town Girl might reconsider the premise that the swing scene offers attachment-free action.

Out in this piece of flyover country, the swingers are some of the most bourgeois citizens we have, often Republican and always married. Fair to assume that she would be a disruptive element. Farther over to the left, the local polyamorists are very much into de facto marriages, with single women like herself very much prized as the 'unicorn' who will make an unsatisfied union complete, at least until she doesn't.

There's even a bizarre offshoot going on, a local motorcycle club that has taken the sharing among brothers one step farther. It features several group marriages that are very much like old-fashioned polygamy, except that the women enjoy one another as well.

Which is maybe as it always has been.
Jan 16, 2015 Token Straight Old dude commented on Women's College Cancels Annual Production of The Vagina Monologues....
There are times I miss the world of opera, pastrami sandwiches, bookstores, coffee shops open til midnight, clubs open til dawn, and progressive colleges.

This is not one of them.
Jun 29, 2014 Token Straight Old dude commented on Savage Love.
Confession: when having sex, sometimes I imagine I am someone else...