Feb 5, 2014
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Confused And Depressed
Before you actually become sexually active with other people, it is not just normal but actually likely that your masturbatory fantasies will be all over the map. Fantasizing about being male does not mean you are really male - it doesn't mean you aren't male either. It's just normal healthy exploration as you try to figure out who you are and what you like while your hormones put you in a state of near desperation to be sexual.
Also, how you dress in middle/high school doesn't necessarily dictate who you will be later in life.
Don't let your hormones or your desire to figure out which box you fit in rush you into sex before you feel ready for it. Don't let your fear of who you might be prevent you from allowing yourself to be ready. Know that who you are is awesome and valuable, whatever label you or other people try to affix to you, and whenever you start having sex with other people.
Also, statistically, women who go through puberty later tend to end up with better self esteem than women who experienced earlier puberty because the "late bloomers" are allowed to develop a sense of self worth that is based on something other than their breast size when their peer first start becoming sexually aware. It's rough feeling like you are way behind everyone else (I was later than most of my friends too, and a total tomboy to boot), but it totally gets better and that better is worth sticking around to see.
Oct 29, 2013
commented on Savage Love
GNAY - you start by describing yourself as a youth. Stay open to the possibility of your gender identity and sexual preference changing. I'm not saying they will change as you get older, but they might.
My own gender identity was pretty fluid up to late college, and my sexual orientation still hasn't settled down (I'm almost 30). I would go for months or years at a time being certain I had figured out the most applicable label, only to find I'd changed again.
I agree with @5 - if you want to pick a label, go ahead, but don't let that label (and certainly not other peoples' definition of that label) define you. Just because you've found a label you think fits you now doesn't mean you're trapped in that box forever.
Feb 12, 2013
commented on Television Station in Indiana Edits Report In an Apparent Attempt to Make Bigoted Special Ed Teacher Diana "Gays Have No Purpose" Medley Seem Less Hateful
@26 GIG: You seem to be conflating "equal" with "same".
It has always been my understanding that when people say something to the effect of "all children were created equal" or "god created everyone equal", they are saying that everyone has *equal value* NOT *identical characteristics*.
Believing that everyone has equal worth, and should be treated with equal respect, is not the same as saying that everyone *is* the same or should be treated the same.
Now, I don't think that Medley believes that everyone has equal worth ("gays have no purpose in life"), I just think that hanging your dispute with Medley on an inaccurate definition of "equal" makes your otherwise legitimate frustration with Medley's attitude easy to dismiss.
I loved the first four paragraphs of your impassioned letter @26, and got excited about having something to copy-paste-send to the school administrators. I'd love to see a rewrite of the second half that doesn't depend on the equal=same straw-man so I can shamelessly steal it and send it to the administration. Will you oblige?