Aug 13, 2015
answered a bunch of weird questions about himself or herself.
Aug 13, 2015
commented on Mistress Matisse Reacts to Amnesty's Resolution Calling for Decriminalization of Sex Work
I worked in the brothel system in New Zealand for a while, both before and after decriminalisation. In the former time, I had to sumbit my ID for the club to make a copy, and I knew that were I to choose legal action against an abusive client, I was opening myself up to a world of hurt.
Since the decriminalisation laws were passed, I was able to school young girls better in how to care for themselves. Hidden panic buttons we weren't always told about, positioning oneself to be between the door and the client, ways to discreetly summon assistance to minimise the risk of the client taking it out on you... some of those choices might have been avalible in the criminalised time, but that fear of being brought up on charges of our own was an effective deterrent.
It is an industry where I do noy choose to make my home, but the way the brothels (my only area of expertise) changed post-decriminalisation were overwhelmingly positive.
You're still expected to clock on for 12-odd hours, and hope to attract enough men in that time to cover shift fees, bar fees, time spent in salons etc, and if fortunate, walk away from the night financially in the black . The clubs will not sell you - you are the one doing the heavy work on the lounge, trying to distinguish between the brothel rats who get a high out of wasting your time, and the genuine bookings.
Some brothel rules treat the workers like children, and carefully guide then into the beds (pvc mattresses ) with a regular but difficult client. This is where divide and conquor happen. The inexperienced workers will take the difficult client because it is intimated to than that us stropper, picky girls are just trying to cut down their earning potential. It is SO easy to make the club seem like the authority for all seasons.
I was once unfortunate enough (and beyond furious with myself) to miss a client slipping his condom off as he unloaded in me. Club's response was to set me up in a bathtub with Coca-Cola douche.
There is plenty that is unacceptable in the legal system, but the taste of the fear has changed. It is worthwhile now to be less tolerant of extremes, and so the fears settle more along the lines of self-protection from situations that look dangerous.
Call the manager on the intercom and tell them you forgot to place your dinner order? She will be at that door in 20 seconds with the security staff flanking her. These are that changes that have happened in the new system, and by removing a parlysing fear, we have more strength to handle those closer to home.
Sep 1, 2010
commented on Don't Wanna Eat the Meat, Don't Order the Steak
I had a partner tell me he'd 'give it the old college try', if it would shut me up for a few weeks. This was just over a year into a relationship between people in their 20s, and he turned into Mr Not-This-Month-Honey-I-Have-A-Headache. But as people are saying all over this thread, it wasn't so much that he didn't want to have sex with me, but that he would make me feel as though I was being unreasonable, that my sex-drive was outlandish, and that I was terribly high-maintenance to require 'servicing', when he'd already told me that he loved me, because really, don't women just swap sex for love?
Jul 3, 2010
commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Wronged Party
Omphaloskeptic and tsel - right on! I've skated around the edge of that Other Woman status a number of times in my life, and it's mostly just been very, very painful. You have to constantly hold yourself back from the feelings that naturally flow from spending intimate physical time with somebody you like, somebody you are attracted to, often somebody you have worlds in common with, because he has decided to give all of his emotional energy to the woman he initially chose for himself, despite the fact that she has ceased to provide him with the reinforcment he needs.
So you throw your passion and affection towards this man, and he takes that emotional energy to recharge his batteries, and feeds it back to his wife. The more you give him, the more he gives her, until you are exhausted from giving with nothing in return.
Men getting NSA sex from women who aren't their wives should really choose their partners from women in the same situation. Leave us single girls alone, because we can't simply decide not to have feelings for you.
Jul 2, 2010
commented on Praying For Atheists
When I was an 18 year-old university student (in New Zealand), I was stalked by an evangelical christain group who had come over from the US to preach the word. Whenever I sat down on a bench in the quad to eat my lunch, I'd suddenly see a shoadow fall across my book, look up, and find myself hedged in by two or three believers. If I walked down a corridor without my friends, I'd hear "Hi Ann, we're praying for yoooooou" in a hiss, turn around, and there would either be no one there, or a phalanx of tall male believers with shiny white teeth. It went on for months, to the point where I would only walk around campus with an escort of my tallest and scariest-looking goth-punk friends.
These days, hearing somebody tell me that they are praying for me just invokes terror, and takes me back 10 years to the feeling that I was being watched and followed everywhere, by people who said they meant me well, but made me feel under a constant threat. So I will politely ask people not to tell me if they decide to pray for me, because it just brings up too many bad memories.
Jun 18, 2010
commented on Every Child Deserves a Mother and a Father
Yes, 46, and Dan reported on that too. Nobody is trying to claim that all gay and lesbian parents are ideal; the point is that there is no indication that they are any worse than straight parents, which is what the anti-gay-adoption faction is trying tell us.
But I'm sure you know that, and you're deliberately pretending to miss the point so that you can feel better about being a dick.
May 17, 2010
commented on Savage Love
Some of you seem to be confused about the agreement that MIP has with her lover. She isn't upset because he's being unfaithful; she's upset because they agreed to tell each other about the other-other people they slept with.
So she is not quite as oblivious as you are making her out to be.
I think Dan's nailed it though - the secrecy is a part of his turn-on, and she will have to decide how important it is for her to have knowledge of everyone he sticks his dick into.
Apr 13, 2010
commented on Savage Love
But 20, did he really need to say 'dirty whores'? That's a pretty emotionally charged word, and it might turn him on in the context of the porn, but by saying it out loud to a woman he's expressed romantic interest in, it might make her feel like he judges real women as being whores or otherwise, you see?
If he'd just said 'rape fantasies and gang-bangs' she might have raised an eyebrow, but it would have been easier to define as being in the context of his pornography, with possible shading into a real sex life. But 'dirty whores' just somehow charges right through the mind barriers that most sensible people erect between fantasy, pornography, and real sexual encounters.
Some women may like being called dirty whores when they are turned on, but I would hazard that fewer like the IDEA of being called dirty whores when they are not.