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11:23 AM lizvocal commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: No Way Out.
In your fifties is no time to give up on life and love. Every minute you spend being miserable is another minute you cannot recover. You only get one precious life, don't allow anyone to waste your time. Fifty should be your most dangerous time: old enough to know what you want, and young enough to have the energy to get it.
Jan 22, 2014 lizvocal commented on Savage Love.
I had a 45 yo friend who suddenly started having trouble reaching orgasm. Her (female!) gyno thought maybe that was just age and she should accept it. Balderdash. I talked her around for about a week and finally she went to the Mayo clinic for a full work up - they have very comprehensive services, BTW. It turned out to be a treatable nerve problem, and not a permanent state at all. Never let anyone tell you your sex life is over! You are worth an answer!
Oct 8, 2013 lizvocal commented on Swank Congressional Gyms Are More "Essential" Than Park Rangers and Programs for Poor Kids.
Moms with kids shut out of Head Start should drop them off at the House gym. That would be a great protest!
Apr 24, 2013 lizvocal commented on SL Letter of the Day: Mate Or Mat?.
I have read letters like this first LW for years in Savage Love, and I wonder why no one ever suggests that the spouse with no sex drive might have been sexually abused as a child.

Child sexual abuse is almost never reported and even less frequently prosecuted (don't believe me, ask your local Children's Advocacy Center). There are appallingly high numbers of cases that never get reported. The creation of sex offender registries has caused a drop in reporting from within families. It's just one more thing to hold over a victim's head, "you don't want to see Daddy on the registry, do you?"

I wonder why no one ever brings it up when talking about adults who are so fucked up about sex? Talking dirty to strangers, but can't open her eyes to look at her husband during sex? That screams survivor of abuse to me.

I wish Dan would bring on one of his guest experts to talk about the adult survivors of child sex abuse.
Feb 20, 2013 lizvocal commented on Savage Love Episode 330.
I have never wished to live in Seattle until I heard this show. So sorry I missed it.
Feb 13, 2013 lizvocal commented on Savage Love Episode 329.
On the 11 year old, yeah, I too felt like everyone was jumping to conclusions. I was strongly against getting married or having kids well into college, and I liked boys and sex with them just fine. I wound up getting married, but never have wanted kids. Most kids think marriage looks like a bad deal, why not take that at face value?

As to the last commenter on the podcast, I thought Dan passed up the opportunity to repeat the best thing he ever said about heterosexuality - that it is a damn shame that cultural conditioning makes men and women sexually incompatible! I love that observation, and think it ought to be repeated every week.
Jan 23, 2013 lizvocal commented on Savage Love.
When I got married the second time, I wanted a big party without the wedding crap. I highly recommend it. I had the stuff that is important to me - food, drink, music, family and friends - and no hassles.

I also totally agree with Chicago Fan #23 to control the toasts. I wonder if Chicago Fan was at my first wedding in 1988. Totally random people got hold of the mic and proceeded to bore and confuse everyone. It was a disaster. Don't do it. If you can't be sure, skip toasts altogether.
Sep 19, 2012 lizvocal commented on Savage Love Episode 308.
I am happy to know she out there trying to improve sex education. As a 47 yo woman, I am inspired by her (much repeated) sleeping with younger men, go her. Please do not have her back to give advice! She missed key points of the questions and viewed it all through her own filters, making her advice unhelpful at best and a non sequitur at worst.
Feb 13, 2012 lizvocal commented on SL Letter of the Day: Pill The Homos!.
I don't get the "choice" people at all. What religion you practice is a choice, but no one thinks it should be legal to discriminate against people based on their religion of choice. Even when they choose mind-limiting, bigoted, dumbass religions. Just saying.
Jan 25, 2012 lizvocal commented on Savage Love Episode 275.
Repeated studies have shown that a fit, overweight person is healthier than an unfit, 'normal' weight person. Skads of people with multiple gym memberships can attest that working out does not (by itself) lead to weight loss. So love the chubby girl, and encourage her to exercise for her health, not for weight loss. Studies also find that a little extra weight late in life is healthier, as it provides the body resources against a serious illness.

Not well known is the role fat tissue plays in the production of sex-related hormones. If we had no social conditioning, fat would equal a higher libido, just because more hormones are rampaging around, demanding it. Girls who are ashamed of their bodies will be shy to express this. The man who makes her feel beautiful and sexy is the one who benefits, trust me on this!

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