David Ley
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Feb 1, 2013 David Ley commented on Savage Love.
Dan - sex addiction IS a myth, and is yet another way in which male homosexuality is attacked. Sadly, even though the APA has yet again rejected this pseudodiagnosis, many media and online sources such as WebMD continue to present it as real. The more public figures such as yourself stand up and call this a fraud, the more the public can see that they are being deceived.
Jul 8, 2010 David Ley commented on Dan Savage.
It's certainly apropos that the letter you received is regarding the cuckolding fetish, the "hot new fetish" of the new millennium. I absolutely agree with Ryan, that there are many "normal" reasons to explain the appeal of this fetish. In my own book Insatiable Wives, I explore these issues, including the neurochemical and masochistic motivations behind it. I do in fact see that bisexual and homosexual urges are substantial in these husbands. By the way - I'm reading Sex at Dawn currently, and agree that it is a wonderful book!
cheers - David Ley
Mar 23, 2010 David Ley commented on Control Tower.
In my book Insatiable Wives, Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them, I interviewed a woman who was kinky, nonmonogamous, and had been abused as a child. Her story was fascinating though, as her nonmonogamous lifestyle was not a symptom of her early pathology, but an adaptive behavior that allowed her to overcome the impact of the abuse. It was only because her husband did not require her to be monogamous that she was able to drop her emotional boundaries enough to have real intimacy and relationship with her husband, overcoming her fear of dependency. Her story was a very interesting and compelling one.
Nov 19, 2009 David Ley joined My Stranger Face
Nov 19, 2009 David Ley commented on Savage Love.
People who preferentially seek out the mates of others are known as "mate-poachers" in the research literature. they are shown to often be untrustworthy, selfish, arrogant and generally not nice. I recently published a book, Insatiable Wives, Women who Stray and the Men Who Love Them, that explores the dynamics and issues of both the first two letters. And, it includes several nice references to Savage Love!