TMI
- What song do you want played at your funeral?: "MacPherson's Lament" by Rawlins Cross
- What book have you read the most?: Pride and Prejudice
- What helps you sleep?: I wish I knew.
- What keeps you up at night?: insomnia
- What's your biggest grammatical pet peeve?: It's a tie between adverbs like "here" or "there" being used as subjects and "who" being used where "whom" is correct.
May 17
canada girl commented on Meanwhile in Toronto.
The best WTF Rob Ford moment before this, IMHO, was his offer to go out for coffee with any woman over the age of 18 in the Toronto area and explain to her how politics work. It's embarrassing that this man managed to become mayor of a city in my country and what a joke he's made of the office.
Feb 16
canada girl commented on SL Letter of the Day: My Bi Guy.
@HMTASFACB I'm also a woman married to a bisexual man. When my husband was a bit younger than your husband's age, he came out to me. We're both 34 now and have been together for 10 years, married for nearly seven.
You're already doing the best things you can be doing as his wife: being supportive and accepting of his sexual orientation and encouraging him to explore this part of himself. With my support and also therapy, my husband went from not knowing what his sexual orientation means for his life to having had same-sex sexual experiences (with my foreknowledge and blessing), confidently coming out as bi to his family and friends, and being part of a local bisexual social group. My husband also identifies as genderqueer and has begun expressing that part of himself openly as well.
What made a difference for him in getting this all sorted out was thinking of our toddler son: whatever sexual orientation and/or gender identity our son identifies with, we want our son to be content with himself. That means his dad has to be content with these aspects of himself too.
I'd be very happy to chat with you about this stuff more if you like. Cheers.
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You're already doing the best things you can be doing as his wife: being supportive and accepting of his sexual orientation and encouraging him to explore this part of himself. With my support and also therapy, my husband went from not knowing what his sexual orientation means for his life to having had same-sex sexual experiences (with my foreknowledge and blessing), confidently coming out as bi to his family and friends, and being part of a local bisexual social group. My husband also identifies as genderqueer and has begun expressing that part of himself openly as well.
What made a difference for him in getting this all sorted out was thinking of our toddler son: whatever sexual orientation and/or gender identity our son identifies with, we want our son to be content with himself. That means his dad has to be content with these aspects of himself too.
I'd be very happy to chat with you about this stuff more if you like. Cheers.
Feb 13
canada girl commented on Savage Love.
@23 Thank you for what you wrote. I couldn't have expressed it better myself. I'm a straight woman who has a three-year-old son with my bisexual, genderqueer husband. I will always love and support my son without condition, just as I do my husband. And no, I don't deserve a medal for this, either. I call it being a decent person.
If I weren't sure about how to support my husband and/or son when it came to sexual orientation and/or gender identity, I'd try seeking Dan's advice as DUD did. I think DUD is doing the best he can by his son and am glad he wrote to Dan on such an important topic.
If I weren't sure about how to support my husband and/or son when it came to sexual orientation and/or gender identity, I'd try seeking Dan's advice as DUD did. I think DUD is doing the best he can by his son and am glad he wrote to Dan on such an important topic.
Jan 23
canada girl commented on Savage Love.
Destination weddings can be fine; it's the attitudes and expectations of the people getting married that make it blah for the invitees or not.
In my case, I didn't want to have to deal with the stress of planning a wedding and finishing off my work term for the end of my degree. My now-husband was a willing and equal partner in deciding on the wedding stuff, but I didn't want to foist the planning all on him, which is what would have happened without a destination wedding. And we both wanted something fancier than a local justice of the peace. Choosing a hotel and a wedding package in a location so agreeable was much easier for us, and it was nice to get away.
My husband's immediate family who live halfway across Canada from us all wanted to be there for the ceremony, were willing to travel anyway, and all love Las Vegas. My immediate family was in our province and really liked the idea of going to Las Vegas. It was a great, fun, and relaxing time for everyone. Quite a few of our guests actually made a larger trip out of this by also visiting the Grand Canyon or California.
We certainly didn't expect our family and friends to go if they didn't want to or couldn't go, and we didn't expect gifts. We were gratified that so many people wanted to and were able to go. We weren't put out at some of our friends not being able to or wanting to go, but we enjoyed nice dinners with them after the wedding.
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In my case, I didn't want to have to deal with the stress of planning a wedding and finishing off my work term for the end of my degree. My now-husband was a willing and equal partner in deciding on the wedding stuff, but I didn't want to foist the planning all on him, which is what would have happened without a destination wedding. And we both wanted something fancier than a local justice of the peace. Choosing a hotel and a wedding package in a location so agreeable was much easier for us, and it was nice to get away.
My husband's immediate family who live halfway across Canada from us all wanted to be there for the ceremony, were willing to travel anyway, and all love Las Vegas. My immediate family was in our province and really liked the idea of going to Las Vegas. It was a great, fun, and relaxing time for everyone. Quite a few of our guests actually made a larger trip out of this by also visiting the Grand Canyon or California.
We certainly didn't expect our family and friends to go if they didn't want to or couldn't go, and we didn't expect gifts. We were gratified that so many people wanted to and were able to go. We weren't put out at some of our friends not being able to or wanting to go, but we enjoyed nice dinners with them after the wedding.
Jun 6, 2012
canada girl commented on Savage Love.
NEWB, I just wanted to add to the excellent advice you've gotten here already. In 2003, then-boyfriend (now husband) had never had PIV sex before he met me, which he told me at the beginning of our relationship. I wasn't a virgin when we met.
When he was ready for sex, he presented his PIV virginity as something completely awesome that he wanted to share with me, told me that he wanted to explore fantasies and ideas about sex together, and try out what interested us both. And my goodness, if he hasn't turned out to be the most creative and best sexual partner I could have ever asked for. I recommend, along with the other great things people have said here, to have these sorts of discussions with your girlfriend.
When he was ready for sex, he presented his PIV virginity as something completely awesome that he wanted to share with me, told me that he wanted to explore fantasies and ideas about sex together, and try out what interested us both. And my goodness, if he hasn't turned out to be the most creative and best sexual partner I could have ever asked for. I recommend, along with the other great things people have said here, to have these sorts of discussions with your girlfriend.
Jan 12, 2012
canada girl commented on Canada's Conservative Government Turns My Husband Back Into My Boyfriend.
Count me as another Canadian who is angry about this. I'm so sorry, Dan, for how this is affecting you and Terry and the thousands of other foreign same-sex couples who were married here. I'm eager to hear what Harper has to say on this later today.
@11 I live in Calgary. While there are some pockets of liberal thinkers here, I'm amazed and shocked at the hardline social conservatism that so many people here openly hold. I am hoping to move back to Nova Scotia soon.
@11 I live in Calgary. While there are some pockets of liberal thinkers here, I'm amazed and shocked at the hardline social conservatism that so many people here openly hold. I am hoping to move back to Nova Scotia soon.
Nov 25, 2011
canada girl commented on Required Viewing: Australian Marriage Equality Ad.
Thanks for sharing, Dan! This is a beautiful video.
Oct 24, 2011
canada girl commented on Religious Bigot to Straight Parents: Ask Hospitals to Keep LGBT Staff Away From Your Children.
I care about medical personnel's competency, compassion, and professionalism in dealing with my two-year-old son. I can't imagine caring about a doctor or nurse's sexual orientation just as I can't imagine caring about something like his or her skin colour, religion, gender identity, ethnicity, etc..
During the first year of my son's life, I'd often talk to a nurse friend of mine about questions and concerns I had about my son. This nurse has spent most of his career working in an NICU. He's a caring, compassionate, and knowledgable nurse who gave me excellent, helpful advice. He's also gay. My husband/son's dad is bi. I'm straight. We have other gay, lesbian, and bi friends. My son's sexual orientation is based on who he is, not who any of us are. The Linda Harveys of the world are so irritating, bigoted, and wrong!
During the first year of my son's life, I'd often talk to a nurse friend of mine about questions and concerns I had about my son. This nurse has spent most of his career working in an NICU. He's a caring, compassionate, and knowledgable nurse who gave me excellent, helpful advice. He's also gay. My husband/son's dad is bi. I'm straight. We have other gay, lesbian, and bi friends. My son's sexual orientation is based on who he is, not who any of us are. The Linda Harveys of the world are so irritating, bigoted, and wrong!
Aug 10, 2011
canada girl commented on Savage Love.
To HNH: There are straight women out there who are very happy to be with a bi guy. I am such a woman. My now-husband came out to me as bi early on in our relationship, and we've been having a wonderful and hot mongamish journey together. Dan is right about building your confidence so that you will start attracting the right kind of partners who will view your bisexuality as a plus to the relationship.
Jul 7, 2011
canada girl commented on My Father Is an African Immigrant and My Mother Is a White Girl from Kansas and I Am Not the President of the United States.
As someone who also grew up without a father and was disappointed after making contact with said father, I loved and appreciated reading this story. Thank you very much for sharing this.
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