commented on Why Putting the French Flag on the Space Needle Is Racist
Actually, to all of you agreeing with Charles, let me ask you the following questions: Have you ever been to Nairobi Kenya? Do you ever plan on going? Do you know anyone that has been there before? Have you ever met someone from Kenya? Do you know what the skyline of Nairobi Kenya looks like? Besides Kenya's marathon runners and our President's father, what do you know about the country off the top of your head? Are you familiar with any novels, plays, or movies that are set in Kenya? What happened in Kenya during World War 1 and World War 2?
If you haven't already guessed where I am going with this, switch Nairobi to Paris and Kenya to France and you will see the vast gulf in the level of connection that most people have with the two places. And to put it simply, we have a stronger emotional response to things that we have a connection with.
On one final note, remember #BringBackOurGirls and Kony 2012?
commented on Savage Love
Good news NGAA! You can skip the ridiculously difficult requirements of finding gay dudes with vinyl recordings of Broadway musicals he knows by heart and simply watch "High Fidelity" on DVD. Heck, you can just read the quotes I have posted here (trimmed to save space):
ROB: That other girl, or other women, ... I was thinking that they're just fantasies. And they always seem really great because there's never any problems. And if there are, they're cute problems like she wants to go see a movie that I've already seen. And then I come home, and you and I have real problems... and you don't even want to see the movie I want to see, period. There's no lingerie and...
LAURA: I have lingerie!
ROB: Yes, you do. You have great lingerie, but you also have the cotton underwear that's been washed a thousand times, ... and they have it too! It's just I don't have to see it because it's not in the fantasy.
Translated into straight forward advice, you and your friend get to have this delightful, so happy relationship because (as you point out) "We are barely part of each other's lives anymore." When the two of you do get to hang out you get to focus on the happy aspects of your lives, the things that are going well, the lingerie of life if you will. Also, she may feel at ease and comfortable around you since the two of you are MARRIED TO OTHER PEOPLE so she thinks (incorrectly) that you are happy to be just friends.
Furthermore, from an outsider's perspective, taking option 3, a married man telling a married woman that he has always loved her ends with restraining orders, not romance. She will take your declaration of love to mean either "You should divorce your husband then I'll divorce my wife so we can get married" or "we should cheat on our spouses with each other." And the fact that over time the two of you are becoming less involved each other (not more) says she is not harboring a secret, undeclared love for you.
Closing with another quote from High Fidelity
"Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."
commented on Why Was Voter Turnout So Low in This Year's Local Elections?
As a new(ish) resident of Seattle I feel disconnected from the local issues. Seattle still feels like a foreign place, that place I would hear about on Oregon Public Broadcasting where the elections are interesting but I am affected by or engaged with. If I had not seen SLOG's coverage and editorial endorsements, I not have dug through the huge pile of (assumed) junk mail knowing there might be a ballot in there. Even then, had I not lived near a drop off spot in Renton, I would not have been able to drop off my ballot in time.
commented on Famous Catholic University Actually Fires Academic Coach For Alleged Sex Crimes
Wow, the only time the Catholic Church is "unable" to protect it's own is when the perpetrator is a woman. I guess for the church to not let something slide it can't be Priest on child assault, it has to be student/teacher-Fm-coercion/non-consensual-interracial-drugging, with a helping of indirect incest. Anything else missing?
But in all seriousness, my heart goes out to the victims who have been put through this and I thank them for pushing back. One of the great challenges for male victims of sexual assault is convincing people that the assault happened, as people can't imagine men being assaulted by women. Best wishes to them as they push through this.
commented on I, Anonymous
For all the cranks complaining that Europeans don't tip so why should we, consider that at most toilets in Europe you have to pay to use them. So does that mean because we don't pay for toilets in America you get to jump the turnstiles in Europe? No, you pay for it because that is how things work there. Pay for toilets in Europe, tip restaurant workers in America.
Going to stand up on principle and say that tipping is ludicrous and you refuse to do it (looking at you Thrill Killer)? Fine, just make sure you tell the server THE MOMENT you see the server, not when the bill arrives. You don't get to free ride on everyone else's habits so make your intentions known and let the server adjust your level of service appropriately. Or better yet, put up a sign at your table that says clearly "I DO NOT TIP" so that everyone else in the restaurant can see what a cheapskate you are.
So to Anonymous, I support you and would say to the cheapskates you served last night, if you can afford to spend $300 at a meal and even have some of it comped, you can damn well afford to leave a tip.
commented on Savage Love
Spot on about STATUS Dan. But rather than jumping on the hate-train over STATUS's gas-lighting her husband to get revenge, I would like to point out that STATUS has legitimate grounds to be furious. She tried hard to make the relationship work, she forgave his earlier infidelity (a fucking serious one - getting HIV likely means trashy one night stands or hiring sex workers and using no condoms), and has found that her husband shit all over her pain and hard work and proceeded to go out and continue to have affairs.
I hope STATUS, once she is out of this toxic relationship and the anger is no longer as raw, sees her positive traits (empathy, forgiveness, dedication) return in full force in a relationship with a partner who will earn the privilege of being with her.
commented on Police Reports Illustrated: Man Gives Stranger a Ride, Gets Robbed
To the poor person that tried to do a good thing and got robbed, I am terribly sorry and want to apologize on behalf of the @$$holes writing comments that you are at fault for trying to be a good person. Your assistance to the man was incredibly decent and I am so sorry he repaid you with violence. I hope the universe balances out with a positive experience that restores your faith in humanity if you need help in the future.