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Nov 22, 2013 hotmomma commented on Savage Love.
By the way, I should add, we are in the process of divorcing. I will definitely be seeking sexual compatibility in my next relationship! And good communications!
Nov 22, 2013 hotmomma commented on Savage Love.
I would like to add to the stories of long sad relationships resulting from mismatched libidos. I met my husband 18 years ago. I was very sexually repressed because of bad experiences I had with men before. He was patient and kind, and I finally trusted him to have sex. He was passionate and experienced. But after 6-12 months, his libido dropped. It dropped even more after we got married, and more when we had kids. I on the other hand, my libido has increased the older I got. Most of our marriage consisted of me making the first move, not getting turned down necessarily, but never feeling very wanted. He did not like communication of any kind during sex, and acted very hurt if I suggested changes or expressed something didn't feel good, or could feel better. Eventually he felt that I never accepted him and that everything I say makes him feel like shit. I feel unloved and unwanted, and very sexually frustrated. I should have seen this coming 1-2 years into our relationship before we got married. But I loved him and was young and naive, and I also felt indebted to him for opening me up sexually. But I should have called it off then, I would have saved us both a lot of pain. But at the same time, we had many wonderful experiences together and two amazing kids, so I don't waste time on regret.
Sep 11, 2013 hotmomma commented on Nearly One Quarter of Asia-Pacific Men Surveyed Admit to Rape.
Instead, they asked men whether they had ever 'forced a woman who was not your wife or girlfriend at the time to have sex,'...

I'm sorry, but why the distinction? Wives and girlfriends do get raped, what is the point in leaving them out?
Aug 28, 2013 hotmomma commented on Savage Love.
How is not wanting to date an HIV infected person ignorant? Condoms break, right? When condoms break, a possible infection can occur, right? Am I missing something? I haven't been in the dating world for a while, but did those things stop occurring to people? Not wanting to risk a life threatening infection to date someone doesn't seem like a ignorant or asshole move. It is a choice. People who are willing to take the risk, that is their choice. People not willing to take the risk, that is their choice too. Why assume they are jerks?
Aug 23, 2013 hotmomma answered a bunch of weird questions about himself or herself.
Aug 23, 2013 hotmomma commented on Did You Know It's the Season When Giant House Spiders Walk Around Seattle Homes?.
Let's just take a moment and count our blessings that spiders don't fly!
Aug 15, 2013 hotmomma commented on Savage Love.
Chris responded to several letters on dans blog. They were meant to be humorous, making analogies between letter and Michigan politics. They were ok at first but got overdone.
Jun 7, 2013 hotmomma commented on Street Harassment.
When I was younger working at Safeway in Capitol Hill, I had my boob grabbed by an older male customer. He had visited the store many times and always smiled at me, and I smiled back. Then on the 4-5 time, he grabbed me. It hurt so bad for days, and I felt a fear and shame... all I could do was run in the back. When I finally told my (male) supervisor, he blew it off. The guy kept coming back and I had to hide in the back to avoid him. Finally a more senior supervisor figured out what was going on and told him he was banned from the store. Now being older, I wished I had immediately called the police. Or I should have filed a complaint against my supervisor. But when I was young, I felt instead shame and a sense that I had provoked him. Now I tell my daughter that no person has a right to touch her ever if she doesn't give them permission. No one should ever have to feel ashamed of another persons illegal behavior. And that was just one incident. Things like that happened to me all the time. It was one reason I stopped using public transportation as soon as I could afford a car. Women should not have to just "deal" with harassment in any form. I am sad and anger at some of the defensive posts on this thread. Some of you men might be "better than this", but unfortunately many are not. Even if a man would never engage in this behavior, he may still allow it, like my supervisor, which is just as bad. Moms and dads out there, it is our job to teach our sons better.
Dec 30, 2009 hotmomma joined My Stranger Face
Dec 29, 2009 hotmomma commented on Savage Love.
boo frickin' hoo..