Queen City of the West
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In my Early 60's Raised RC now agnostic Lutheran Self employed, married, Kids and G-… more »

sb53 is once agin at work, this time MAKING eyeglass frames .
Apr 20 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
RE shutout
This letter is similar to my experience. We married young and I was from a Long-term FDR Democratic family. Her family is right-wingnut Trumpians, but also right -wing Lutheran. (like the RCC there are strains of lutheranisms) In the face of decades of negativity and judgey behavior I simply show up at family functions and soak up their goofy stories to be replayed when I am with my family for laughs. I try to not take it personally, I simply remind myself that they love their daughter as do I;...we have that one thing in common. I learned to bring cigars to leave their house to smoke when it gets too bad. I do not normally smoke but it is delightful to have this reason to excuse myself. Like Bill Clinton, I do NOT inhale ;-)
Apr 10 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
@44 The first-time-out-of-the box experience was not good. (tengaflip) The thing is massively large, and the lube supplied is ...cold. We have it on the shelf and awaiting another opportunity. In reading reviews of the toy, the users (not the sellers) recommend warming it first with hot water prior to use. Will follow up, thnx for asking!
Apr 6 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
I have some experience with Pro Dommes.
My relationships have been exclusively with younger women probably owing to the fact that I have been on this earth too long. I cannot imagine how I could have experimented with BDSM as a younger man, so I cannot say I feel regretful but the facts if dickonomics prevails.
These women have plenty of willing men many of whom are younger, fitter, and frankly more attractive. The Domme's would happily see me but it was abundantly clear that they were watching the clock , and if not obviously disinterested in the proceedings, made it obvious that they were doing me a favor in order to earn some extra bucks. Eventually I just felt foolish and stopped. Neither of them contacted me, I think they were probably relieved to move on to other clients.
Mar 23 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
Erica @46 Yes, there is a strong urge:.. an actual drive to share intimacy with someone else. If the drive is ignored I become unstable. I cannot think properly, certainly cannot sleep. Every day interactions become sexualized;..(That caused me problems!)
When too much time has gone by, THAT is when "taking matters into my own hands" becomes mandatory. Horny or not I need to go to work every day and that is impossible without sleep.
As a young person, I belonged to a church that categorized self-pleasure as a mortal sin. After some long sessions of celibacy where I embarrassed myself, I decided myself to take care of my needs and "let the chips fall where they may on the hereafter" (Thank you George!) I left the church at 17 and never looked back.
Mar 23 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
Re: Wife who is tired of sex before hubby comes: My Miss N ordered a "tenga flip" for our toy box to give me a toy to play with. I am abit ambivalent. On one hand flattered that she has thought about my sex life (surprise! after all these years) but at the same time worried that she wishes to outsource her involvement. Experiments to follow and a report to be made.
Re Final letter
Mismatched libidos. This is usually a man writing about this condition and I thought that our dear Dan has banned these letters from SL.
Mar 15 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
The "burkha thing" reminds me of a cultural oxymoron. The Muslim world is supposed to be so chaste and yet there is the very sexy belly-dancer tradition. How can their culture support both of this opposing ideas at the same time?
Mar 13 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
My experience with oral is almost exactly like DMG. In the rare times over the last 40 plus years when Miss. N wanted this variety of play, something like 90% of the time it resulted in a yeast infection. This placed one more variety of sex in the category of "out of bounds". In my effort to avoid this occurrence in future, I recalled that many times wine -drinking was involved in the lead up to intimacy. I brought up this possibility, though no experiments were done. The ban has stayed in force. Can't say I blame her, I would hate to be taking a course of antibiotics on a regular basis.
In other news, my miss N has seemingly perceived me as more attractive lately. She is even considerate and nice to me after I was pretty much feeling like I was basically in our marriage by myself most of the time.
My theory? She has retired from work recently and perhaps spending more time by herself has made my presence at home somehow more desirable? Who knows? I shall report more as things develop.
Feb 7 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
Monday night TV on natgeo channel had a 2 hour exploration of transgender culture. I did pick up much of the language that the TG use but was a bit disappointed overall. Katie Couric seemed impelled to be cute and smiley at all times and did not try very hard to dig a little deeper into exactly why these folks wanted to change their sexual identities. One of the theories revolved around the fetus being exposed to testosterone in utero but they did not even ask how the "T" (as they referred to it) appears at that critical moment. The net effect is that I more confused after this 2 hour show than I was before.
Feb 1 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
I lived a similar situation many decades ago.
In my situation, wifey wanted me to go along with a platonic relationship outside of our union;..she was confused at "being in love with two men at the same time" was the way she described it.
WE began talking about it regularly and all the while still had good sex and communicated well. Then her relationship became an intimate one and I began to fear that she would leave me and take my kids. At that point I panicked and asked my boss for an out-of-state job transfer.
She went along with the move, and had some issues over separation from the other guy, but still was committed to our marriage.
Years later she admitted: "I could never have ended that affair if we had not moved away".
I will never know how that situation would have ended if I had not panicked.
FORTDA need to have some long talks with his love to establish what his girl is seeking, if she even knows yet.
She may resemble my situation where she finds herself in a complicated emotional area before she has a solid grasp of what her intimate needs are.
Jan 27 sb53 commented on Savage Love.
Dear Auntie
Re "Eggs"
I seem recall reading somewhere years ago that in some cultures the testicles are indeed referred to as eggs. In the instance I recall the usage was slang.
Also on this topic, when I "discovered" my body around age 12/13 I recall feeling them and imagining their shape as egg-like. Not chicken-sized but maybe more robins=egg size???