May 13
transient commented on SL Letter of the Day: What Kind of Straight Guys Watch Gay Porn?.
Hm. I'm perplexed by this answer. Are men and women that different? I am a straight female and sometimes get off watching lesbian porn. But in real life the thought of being sexual with another woman is a huge turnoff. What it is for me is the taboo aspect of it (even though it's really not taboo anymore). Likewise, sometimes I get off watching porn with very, very old or very, very ugly couples - I don't actually have ANY interest in being with a really, really old or a really, really ugly person in real life. It's the fact that it's strange and not the norm (taboo) that gets me off. Are you saying there are no men like this? How can that be?
May 13
transient commented on I'm Fine, You Guys, I'm Fine.
Dan, pretty soon you're going to be too young for your own column!
May 1
transient commented on Savage Love.
"She's not into sensitive, fashionable, and artistic types—she may not be into entitled assholes, either—and it's time to take the hint that she's practically pegging you with."
Oh, Dan. I love you so.
Oh, Dan. I love you so.
Apr 3
transient commented on Savage Love.
Hey Dan, would love to hear you talk about/respond to the idea of "surrogate partner therapy" - I looked it up as a result of this column. I don't think I'm buying it, personally. But what do you think?
Mar 3
transient commented on In Which I Imagine Having a Sweet-Ass Rack.
I will echo the sentiments of many other large-breasted women here - not all their cracked up to be. Hard to find clothes, have to use powder constantly because you sweat under there (will leave it at that), etc.
And some men are breast men, some aren't - it's not like all men stare at your chest when you have big boobies.
And some men are breast men, some aren't - it's not like all men stare at your chest when you have big boobies.
Feb 20
transient commented on Savage Love.
@Not A Ring Girl: Do you or your fiance have any heirloom jewelry in the family? I have two gorgeous rings, one belonging to each of my grandmothers, stowed away in my jewelery box. I always planned that if I saw wedding bells in my future I would suggest one of those instead of purchasing a new ring. Firstly, it's a lovely gesture to family, secondly, it's free, and thirdly, it will be far more beautiful than anything your boyfriend can buy for a thousand bucks. They just don't make them like they used to.
@Disgusted Big Bro: ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
@Disgusted Big Bro: ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Feb 20
transient commented on Savage Love.
jeesh, dan. enough with the disclaimers about being hungover - it's such a cop out. the rest of us just do our best to pretend we're not hung over when we're at work - what makes you different, other than having a larger audience to fool? lame.
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I'm not saying that this is relevant to your situation, but your story is so much like mine that I wanted to share something with you. When I was 14 I had a boyfriend who similarly (as all horny 14 year olds do) kept trying to take things as far as he could. I wanted to make out, he wanted his hands on my breasts, etc. etc. A few years later I was reflecting back on that first sexual experience with the boy who became my high school boyfriend, and my first love, and the person I lost my virginity to. I was expressing that I had felt violated by that experience, and shared my story - one that sounded about as harmless as your story sounds - and he reacted by telling me I was being ridiculous. It bothered me because I felt like I had a right to be upset, but I just dropped it and didn't talk to him about it again. Fast forward to my early twenties - I'm having all kinds of difficulty coping with change (moving, starting college, breakup with the high school boyfriend). I started seeing a therapist to work through my emotions. It was through this weekly sessions with a wonderful therapist who I trusted that I started to realize I was projecting some sexual abuse I'd experienced in my very early childhood onto this "first" sexual experience with my boyfriend. The emotions - and ickiness, and feelings of violation - were actually not related to this boy. It was easy for me to associate them with him though, because he was the first boy I'd ever fooled around with and been sexual with, and that sexual awakening led me to feeling dirty and wrong and bad. I had repressed some memories that eventually I was able to recognize, and that began my long journey to healing. I wanted to share my story with you in case something resonates. Maybe it's not a bad idea to talk to a therapist about your feelings and figure out where they are coming from. It may not be abuse in your childhood as in my situation, but it seems you are displacing some feelings for some reason or another. 14 year old boys are inexperienced with their dicks, as Dan pointed out, and are completely sex-crazed and hormone riddled. It doesn't sound like there was a willful violation of your person.