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Jan 29, 2010 McChubbin joined My Stranger Face
Jan 29, 2010 McChubbin commented on Savage Love.
Dear Dave,

I have only recently discovered your collemns and I find that you write beautifully-insightful without being stuffy and humorous without pretension.

As such, I would like to ask if you could provide me with some advice.

I am a 21 year old single lady who, up until last October, was in a 7 month relationship that involved a brief stint living together. The relationship was not a happy one-in essence, I had fallen for a man who was practically a carbon copy of my father: Alcoholic, emotionally repressed, mentally instabe, manipulative and melancholy.

There was much emotional abuse involved and towards the end, my confidence hit rock bottom.
After months of papering over the cracks, I ended it for the sake of my dignity and my sanity.

That was nearly 3 months ago.

I haven't seen or heard from my ex since as I cut off all contact. Deleted his number, email and blocked him from my IM programs.

I also generally avoid the places he's prone to hanging out in as I fear that if I *DO* bump into him, I won't be held accountable for my actions.

I do NOT want to get back with him in any way shape or form, but my main problem is his mother.

As I live in a quintessential Irish town, there's little I can do to prevent from bumping into her and whilst we never really had much in common, I find that lately, she is using every opportunity to befriend me.

Bare in mind, when I was living with my ex, it was in his mother's house and I regularly had to put up with verbal abuse and threats of violence from her psychotic boyfriend whilst she stood idly by and more or less stuck her fingers in her ears going "La-la-la, not listening".

I hold contempt towards her for this but I am too polite to let it be known. what I would like to know is this:

How do I let her know that I want absolutely nothing to do with her, her deadbeat son and certifiably insane partner without offending her as I worry she try to slander me in retaliation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

All the best.

-Sarah, from Ireland