@14: My eyes always pop when the latest scientific survey insists that there are even fewer homosexuals than the last one. I think we're down to 3 homosexuals per county now, so I don't know where all those thousands come from who are at the pride marches and fill the bars.

Current wisdom is that women toggle freely back and forth from lesbian and straight, but they're unique in this. And supposedly this phenomena isn't proper bisexuality. My gut instinct tells me that there are more bisexuals than gays+straights, though they suffer from cultural pressures and cannot bring themselves to identify as bi. Science suggests there are even fewer (male) bisexuals than there are gays!

When I think of all the guys I met in bars and slept with who insisted they were straight... I lose my confidence in surveys. My unscientific conclusion is that people with same-sex attraction and sexual experience are less willing to identify as gay or bi these days. My guess is that in earlier times, people didn't know that experimentation was common and normal. Any act you'd committed was proof you were queer. Now sexuality is becoming better known, people use it as an excuse to put off deciding. I wonder if we probed young men more deeply, would they admit to being "straight but a little freaky"?

My first boyfriend's mom let me sleep over and gave us all the privacy we wanted. And that was the right decision, because her son was safest when in his own home. She had the least to worry about.

Intruding upon and manipulating your kid's sex life can really make you a creep.

I also had a "sensitive" but straight friend who I would come home with after school to listen to music. His mother kept making him turn the music down (new-age music, can you believe it?) so I would close the door out of consideration. Then she kept bursting in like she expected to catch us in the act. Very creepy. I was nothing but respectful, and nothing ever happened... but bitch banned me from the house. Funny thing was, he later ran away from home and lived with me 2 weeks; nothing ever happened. He later got married, had kids.

DUD should just sit down with his son and say "hey, I just remembered what it was like to be 14. Here's a carton of condoms. You WILL use them if you have intercourse with anyone. Go find a tutorial on the web about the proper way to roll one on. I've seen your web history, so I know you know how to find what you want there. Other than that, you're free to make your own choices. I raised you, and I know that you will make responsible choices. And set a good example for your buds. I want you to know I've got your back, no matter what. Now, are you hanging out with Gomer tonight, or do you have time to go out for a pizza with your old man?". And don't bring it up again unless there seems to be a crisis arising.

My impression is that the sex isn't good any more because the wife is shutting down on him. She shows signs of "passive aggression" in terminating conversations by giving him the silent treatment. MOWO doesn't say if he's actually *seen* this strap-on, but I suspect the wife made it up during the argument.

It's too late for him to hoist his balls and tell her "no dear, I meant YOUR ass". He makes no effort to correct this in the letter either, which suggests that when he brought the suggestion up with her, he was joking in reaction to a feeling of hostility coming from her. Or he was trying to jolt her into opening up again. I think she really would love to emasculate him. More, that is. He may not be dealing with it consciously, but he knows it.

If this letter is legitimate, I'd say this young couple's lack of mutual respect and observation skills is a strong sign that they may not be good mates in the long run. He's being GGG by seeking sex advice, but also seems to be glossing over his wife's noncooperation instead of calling her out on it. It's like he's tiptoeing around her in hopes of saving the marriage. He's practically at the point where he'll let her ream his ass literally, but I don't think it'll do any good.

As a bisexual male myself (preferring men), I also have my doubts about the supposed "rarity" of bisexuality. Who would seriously deny that males in our society are brought up under a tremendous, crushing pressure to conform to heterosexual norms?

I've always known I liked other guys, yet as a boy, it was usually my buddies who got erections while wrestling with me in the yard. As a teen, it was the other guys who would flop back on my bed when they visited, with their legs spread so I could see up their shorts. They initiated the groping during sleepovers. It wasn't that I was uncomfortable with my own sexuality at the time, or that I didn't want to initiate something myself, but I just don't read people that well, and was too shy. I've had so many unexpected "well, -hello-" experiences, that I tend to ignore my own "gaydar" to this very day.

For a couple of years in high school, it was fashionable for both guys and girls to "admit" to their mild bisexuality, even if it may have just been to impress the opposite sex with their "sensitivity". In college, there was no shortage of frat boys in the gay bars "on the down-low". Frat boys that didn't do any of that "kissing or sucking sh-t" but wanted to be penetrated while they quickly jerked off, then ran back to their dorm. I met married men from all over the country, in town on business, who certainly seemed to know how everything was done.

Being socialized pretty much like I was, guys are easier to understand and communicate with. My boyfriends truely are like good friends who I have sex with. Some girls make good friends, but I just don't have the motivation to put up with female culture and maintain an opposite-sex relationship over the long term. Sex with girls is... certainly anatomically accurate, but girlfriends had to work a bit to get me from affectionate to aroused. I can honestly say that I enjoyed myself, and was totally into the female body at these times. I believe this is how many "mostly straight" bisexuals are with other guys.

I'm reasonably masculine, average looking, average endowment. I doubt that I have a magic ability to bring the "secretly gay" guys out of the woodwork (heh). I doubt that I'm giving out some silent signal or pheromone that seduces straight guys. Even in gay bars, I've been told that people assumed I was straight myself. Like the saying goes, "Q: What's the difference between a gay guy and a frat boy? A: A six pack of beer". This wasn't in prison, where guys had no opportunities with women. In just about every case, it was simply when a straight-identified guy felt that he had a chance to shag a dude without his family or friends finding out. I've even been with notorious "top only" gay guys who didn't know that I knew of them through their friends, who turned out to be very enthusiastic bottoms. Once again, I honestly am just chopped liver. I'm convinced that boys and men are just really good at hiding their same-sex desires, and pretending to be what their peers expect them to be.

I suppose if we can believe that straight women "are just wired" to respond to everything, then we can believe that men are wired to suppress their desires as well. Polygraphs can be faked, and as some wrote above, there are doubts about the authenticity of the MRI tests. I also imagine a majority of straight-identified guys, who have fears about their latent homosexuality, would decline to participate in such scientific "are you secretly gay?" tests.

I'm really happy for gay kids these days, who can live more openly than ever before, and for gays in the military and political office who can (almost) be themselves at work, but I feel sad, fearing that I will be old before casual bisexuality becomes the public norm. But it's amusing to think that parents may one day encourage their sons to have homosexual relationships, so that they don't get anyone pregnant. lol