Bama Librul
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Nov 9, 2016 Bama Librul commented on Savage Love.
I am really surprised by the response Dan and his colleagues gave to NAME. I expect that women who would let their boyfriends sleep with other men AND women are vanishingly rare. He should be willing to put up with plenty to maintain that arrangement. And what a tiny restriction! Surely less than one percent of the population is named Aaron/Erin. So this guy has a setup that's 99% perfect, and is bitching about the 1%. Whiner.
Nov 3, 2016 Bama Librul commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: WOES Gets It, JABBER Doesn't Get It (But Doesn't Mind).
JABBER's acronym stands for "Juggling All Balls, Balancing Every Requirement." I think the reason his letter is drawing such a sharp reaction is that he isn't balancing things AT ALL. He has absolutely given up on sex. He has assigned it zero value. He has made it his lowest priority. If someone said, " I like to go to the movies," and I found out he hadn't been to a movie in four years, I'd say he wasn't being honest about his fondness for the movies. But rather than acknowledge that he is choosing a sexless life, JABBER rationalizes it as a selfless act of paternal sacrifice. This is what ticks me off about his letter. By insisting that love for his child precludes any sort of trade-off for romantic time with his wife, he is implicitly condemning every parent who does have sex. "Oh, you sent your kids to Grandma's for a week and went to the Bahamas with your wife? I guess you just don't love your kids as much as I love mine."
Aug 17, 2016 Bama Librul commented on "The Victorians" From Port Townsend Refused Entry From B.C.'s Butchart Gardens For Being Themselves.
Since the website for the Gardens not only prohibits costumes, but also "period style or historic dress," I don't think the Chrismans have a knickerbockered leg to stand on.
May 14, 2016 Bama Librul commented on Being Charlie and the Reiner Family Overshare.
Lots of art, good or bad, is based on the author's experiences. The reviewers irritation at this seems misplaced. As does the criticism that the main character - a drug addict - does bad things despite having a supportive network of family and friends. I'm no expert, but it's my understanding that this is often the case with addicts.
Apr 26, 2016 Bama Librul commented on Study: Move to Big City Risky For Young Gay and Bi Men.
In addition to the issues Dan raised, it seems to me there is a selection bias issue with using hookup apps to find your suspects. I know I am old and out of touch with young people, but I suspect that a substantial minority of the young gay men who move to New York are not on Grindr.
Feb 24, 2016 Bama Librul commented on I, Anonymous.
So the offer is: (a) relief from a gnawing feeling of guilt, in exchange for (b) public vilification, impoverishment by fines and lawsuit, loss of drivers' license, and quite possibly prison! Hard to see how the driver could pass that up. I'm sorry for the LW, but I think he may have unrealistic expectations about the power of I, Anonymous.
Jan 11, 2016 Bama Librul commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Licensed Massage Practitioner Takes License.
So the masseuse asks - not once, but THREE TIMES - if it was OK to touch the client's breasts. She verbally consents all three times. At some point, there is some vague, objectively undefinable change in the massage that "kept going long enough" for the client to be positive the masseuse was aroused, but which simultaneously "happened too quickly" for her to tell him to stop. I guess the only way a masseuse can be sure of doing the right thing is to wear a haz-mat suit and massage his clients from across the room with a long stick. Sheesh!
Jan 6, 2016 Bama Librul commented on Savage Love.
@11, I respectfully disagree. I have given my wife many orgasms, and she has given many to me. I hadn't given much thought to it before, but it seems natural to me to refer to "giving" an orgasm when the non-orgasmic partner is doing most of the work (i.e., most oral and manual sex). It's not (necessarily) a sexist turn of phrase.
Aug 26, 2015 Bama Librul commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Straightish Jocks and the Spectrum of Attraction.
I think Dan may be making a mistake by blowing off the importance of "loving yourself" and treating this as primarily an issue of sexual attraction. The LW's reference to his youth and his florid descriptions of how hookups with jocks make him feel make it seem like this is more about self-worth than sex.

Sometimes, people turn their adolescent angst and traumas into unhealthy patterns of adult behavior. Normally, this involves their relationships with their parents (i.e., "Mommy issues" or "Daddy issues"). In this case, the LW has "high school clique" issues. I think he would benefit from some time with a good therapist.
Aug 6, 2015 Bama Librul commented on Listen Here: New Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Song "Growing Up (Sloane's Song)" May Soon Blow Up Internet—Not In a Good Way.
Everyone refers to Clement Moore's poem "A Visit From Saint Nicholas" by its most famous line: "T'was the Night Before Christmas." Similarly, everyone refers to Mel Torme's song "The Christmas Song" by its most famous line: "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire." That's just how people talk. Referring to a Langston Hughes poem by its most famous line will only offend those who are going out of their way to feel offended.