tourner a gauche
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Feb 21, 2013 tourner a gauche commented on Savage Love.
I'd like to share a short story regarding the "predatory" nature that smaller stones tend to incite in some men. I had an engagement ring with one small emerald set between two smaller diamonds, which I loved because it was perfect for me (scientist, lots of nitrile gloves and field work, nothing too pokey or big would have been appropriate). One night, while alone at a local pub for dinner, an older man that initially seemed friendly was asking me about my fiance. My fiance was out of town for the summer, doing research, which to Mr. Increasingly Creepy meant, "He doesn't love you, if he did he would never have left you alone." So he should quit his job to loll his eyes at me 24 hours a day? That seems dumb. Then Mr. Definitely Creepy noted the size of the stones and said, "If he really loved you, he'd have given you bigger stones." This broke the straw for me, and I said, "If the size of the stones is how one measures love, I'd need a wheelbarrow." What I should have said, looking back older and wiser, was, "I don't want to fuck you. No amount of bad-mouthing my fiance is going to make me want to fuck you. Get the fuck away from me, Mr. Infinitely Creepy."

And that's how anyone should deal with those that question love via stone size or ring quality (or car, profession, gender, etc). You're not prey, you're a human being who has made a choice regarding who you want to be with. Anybody that tries to use what they perceive as a weakness in your relationship to drive a wedge towards achieving personal gain is a rotting scumbag.
Feb 19, 2010 tourner a gauche joined My Stranger Face
Feb 19, 2010 tourner a gauche commented on Savage Love.
Wow, this week really applies to me. My husband fucks the mattress when I'm not around, and I don't think he's ever ejaculated when we've had sex. It's disappointing to be on the receiving end of a non-orgasm, year after year.

Also, he was more weighty than I would have liked when we got married, but I thought, "hey, now that we'll be married I'll have more influence over his choices and he'll lose that weight in no time!". My naivete astounds me. Don't be like me. If you don't find it sexy now, don't expect it's ever going to change. And don't ever expect that stepping up the relationship a level is going to allow you to have any more influence over your partner's decisions or lifestyle any more than it does at the lower level. That path only leads to resentment (for both).

As far as I know, he doesn't accept $$ to have someone clean the apartment. If that were the case, I would have to say that the cleaner does a tremendously terrible job.