Aug 24, 2015
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Flirtation, Innocent and Otherwise
*whistles* Interesting outpouring of anger toward the LW early on in the comments, for something that seems like a pretty cut-and-dry violation of the Flirt Rule. All because LW said she gets jealous when her husband flirts - but if he flirts like this, I don't blame her!
I've been with my husband for 11 years, married for seven, and we have a Flirt Rule. Casual flirting is A-okay - it boosts confidence, it allows a bit of playfulness with someone you also find attractive, it reminds you that you're still someone who's sexually attractive outside marriage which, let's be honest, sometimes has that feeling of your mom saying you're great at the flute even though you can barely string together hot cross buns, because of course she does, because she loves you. Flirting is great! It's fun!
And I am not a particularly jealous person. Hubby has lady friends - I don't even know all of their names, but he's always been able to befriend women with ease and it's not really a big deal for me. Then again, he's also never made me feel like any of these women were a threat to our monogamy, which clearly isn't the case with LW.
Now that you know all this - if I came across a text wherein my husband had written to a coworker ten years his junior about a sexual proclivity that we indulge in, and he agreed it was "gross" when this babby expressed squick, I would be livid. Totally crossing the bounds of flirtation into sexual play, here - this isn't him making innuendo, this is him putting shit out on the table and then PURPOSELY covering up his own desires to keep this chick on the line. And I know for a fact that my husband would be equally livid to find such a thing in my texts. He would probably immediately question my intentions with the young man I'm texting.
Frankly, this letter makes me wonder what the hell kind of gaslighting is going on in this relationship that LW's husband claims his flirting is nothing while tossing around texts he knows his wife will see that explicitly involve sexual shit. Meanwhile, the LW is calling herself "jealous." I would be ASTOUNDINGLY jealous if that was normal behavior from my SO, because he clearly has no boundaries! How far will he be willing to go?
I agree with others here - if not for the baby, I'd say shake shit up and see if you even want to be with this guy if you have to understandably hyperventilate over every new girl he befriends. With the baby, things are more complicated - but if he blows you off over this text, you have some serious thinking to do about whether you want to deal with this bullshit for the rest of your life. Marriage can be a long time if you let it be.
Apr 7, 2015
commented on South Carolina: Cop Shoots Unarmed Black Man In the Back
Jesus motherfucking Christ. I've known that police violence against blacks has been systematic since always, but the last two years has made a serious difference re: actually SEEING the violence thanks to the people who are brave enough to whip out their phones when shit goes down.
I hope to Christ we can actually CHANGE SOMETHING with all this proof.
Sep 12, 2014
commented on Working Mom Going to Prison for Getting Her Teen Daughter an Abortion
Jesus Christ. It's like something from a Thomas Hardy novel. First society has created a situation that would get a woman in a desperate situation, then it punishes the woman for taking desperate steps. Is that what we are now with women's rights? Are we sinking back into the fucking Victorian age here?!
Eighteen months for trying to help her daughter out of a terrible situation when there were no other options. God fucking bless America.
Feb 5, 2014
commented on The Science Guy vs. The Creationist Guy
I think, given Nye's tone throughout the debate, this wasn't about swaying the hardcore Creationists.
If you've ever seen any of Nye's commentary on Creationism or science, notice that he almost always references children and the things they have a right to learn. The wonder a kid has when studying the natural world and it clicks.
The winners of this debate are the kids watching, and who will watch the video in the future. The kids who get a seed of doubt planted in their heads. The kids who see a calm, rational guy giving simple, layman's terms explanations for why the belief is wrong and holding them back from the truth.
If you were raised with religious belief, especially really crazy, conservative religious belief, you know how important it is to get that spark of doubt that eventually makes the whole thing burst into flames.
Sep 20, 2013
commented on Gays and Lesbians Adopt Children in Order to Rape Them—New Russian Anti-Gay Propaganda Video
@ #3, from what I hear from my husband, the real cultural shift was in to 90s, when things that were once taboo were made acceptable, or at least not immoral. Unfortunately, that freedom came on the back of some serious crime and economic hardship.
And then, Putin. And the giant shift towards beating the drum for the Russian identity as a means of combating the listlessness that happened when communism's ideals failed. And who is a true Russian? Someone white, Slavic, straight, and of the Orthodox church.
In some ways, this is worse than the USSR's shit. Yeah, they preached a pretty unpleasant world view, and lots o people died, but at least racism was considered somewhat barbaric, communism wasn't just for the racially or religiously pure and no one was saying a magical higher being had blessed Russia with awesome.
Now Russia's plagued with religious zealots, meatheads who thing being gay is disgusting, and outcries that the current Miss Russia shouldn't 've been crowned because she's obviously "too southern/Asian looking". Look her up and tell me this isn't messed up.
Jul 15, 2013
commented on SL Letter of the Day: That Sucking Sound
Dude. I can't believe that this guy thinks not getting a blowie now and then but still getting sex one to three times a week equals the wife not being sex-positive. Or that oral is somehow out of vanilla land. Oral is stupidly common, far too common to be considered anything but Breyers level pure vanilla.
Have you asked her lately? Do you just expect her to journey down below without prompting? Some women really hate giving BJs and the lack of requests can be a godsend "perhaps he's equally not into them!" she thinks hopefully. Speak up!