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Apr 13 Scribbles commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Safe Play During Moresomes with Strangers.
Are you all seriously saying that NONE of you have ever met, hung out with new people in a group, thought you liked all of them well enough, went to an after party where things got a bit more turned up (not even necessarily sexually, just that you got to spend a bit more direct time with a smaller more focused group of people), and THEN you started realizing that one of them isn't quite meshing to your tastes as well as you'd like? I mean, especially when young, not everyone has the laser acuity to immediately and unwaveringly parse out "okay but no" from "fuckable at least this one time" or "fuckable on a repeat basis".

Also, especially when young, it might be equally tough to navigate the social awkwardness of "we were wrong, upon hanging out more in a less crowded setting, we don't actually wanna fuck this one guy, but the rest of you are OK," especially if that one guy ALSO was the only one to buy the booze. I honestly don't know if I would have thought of the "pretend to wind down the party, everyone makes going-home motions so the one guy leaves, then everyone else doubles back and good/fun group sex can be had" ploy when I was in my early 20s or so. That's clever and probably face-saving in a number of ways, but not all college-age kids are so clever. Heck, not all older people are so clever, either.
Feb 16 Scribbles commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why Is My Gay Son Hooking Up With a Girl?.
I also know at least two guys who identify as gay men who have relationships with women, and two others who have sexual (but not emotional) interest in them too, which is actually how a couple of them differentiate.

Of the former, one has been married to a woman for years now, and they very clearly love each other, he even expressed surprise that he wanted to be with her so strongly since he'd only ever been interested in being with guys before. (The BL manga trope of "I don't like guys! I only like you!" seems to be in play here, flipped) The other is in a master/pet relationship, where both of them find what they do together sexy but that's separate from wanting a 'standard' relationship with each other. While she's straight (or maybe bi), he would only be interested in a romantic relationship with a guy so identifies as gay.

I also know a lesbian who recently had the "I don't like guys! I only like you!" moment with someone who is now her boyfriend. Outside their relationship she still mainly looks at women (they are poly, this is OK), and I'm not sure she's actually identifying as bi now since her interest in other men is just about nonexistent. So it happens both ways, surprisingly or unsurprisingly.

I guess in short what I'm trying to express from all this is that identity is complicated and labels don't always perfectly encompass who you are, and that not conforming perfectly to a chosen orientation label is fine both for "teens figuring themselves out" and "adults in their 30s, 40s, or whatever."
Nov 4, 2016 Scribbles commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: WOES Gets It, JABBER Doesn't Get It (But Doesn't Mind).
@27 I knew a guy who liked doing normal stuff with friends (movies, eating out, bars, etc.) but he decided one year that he wasn't going to do ANY extraneous spending because there was a big fan event he was going to go to that he wanted to be able to spend whatever he wanted and buy whatever he wanted. He even told me that for that whole year he'd get his friends needling him about it...but he was successful, he certainly bought/spent however he wanted that weekend. But to claim that because he went a year without going to a movie means that his overall liking movies (or liking going out with friends) was in question seems a bit off...his priorities were simply different at the time, and maybe a little foreign to people who didn't agree with his new set of priorities.
Sep 13, 2016 Scribbles commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Bitter Pill.
I second @19 the idea of talking to an OB/GYN about the pill, and the alternate options available. Even trying a different brand of pills can make a big difference. I remember once taking a certain brand for a long period of time, still felt plenty normal with a healthy sex life, then my insurance changed and wouldn't cover that particular one so they tried giving me a different one that was covered. I turned into a sexy-less robot, beep boop. Cried my eyes out many times trying to figure out why I physically couldn't even get turned on enough to orgasm at all (I had timed myself going solo at about 30 seconds to a minute before, so I certainly knew how to do it), let alone be able to have sex with my fiance that didn't feel like some sort of uncomfortable ordeal.

Out of frustration (and fear there was something wrong with me) I switched back to my old brand even though it was like $40/month compared to the $5 copay from the covered one, and BAM (so to speak).
Sep 8, 2016 Scribbles commented on Here Are 6 Reasons Why Trigger Warnings Aren't Bullshit..
@19 Nobody else said it, but thank you for being able to actually do math. I thought it was odd that the article was basically stating almost the exact same ratio twice, for women in general and then women in college, but I always forget how bad people can be at converting fractions to decimals on the fly.

And yes, technically 19.3% is lower than 20%, but I'm guessing it's much more convenient and to the point to say "(implied: approximately) 1 in 5" instead of "193 in 1000."
Sep 2, 2016 Scribbles commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Bi & Bi.
@4 I don't think having a MMF threesome would satisfy the "She's been bi-curious for years" part of the reason why they were looking to have a threesome in the first place.
Jul 19, 2016 Scribbles commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My 13-Year-Old Son Is Watching Gay Porn.
@7 I can't speak for Celtic but have you actually watched anime porn lately, or ever? A lot of it is really terrible; either shoddily made, terrible messages about gender roles/how sex even works (a nipple does not randomly roam around on the boob when it bounces, although that's also a bit of the 'shoddily made''s also not generally advisable to twirl said nipples as if they were old-fashioned radio dials in a bad reception area), just...I try, I cringe, and I'm neither new to anime or porn: I'm an old longtime anime weeb from when VHS fansub trading was a thing and some of my best friends are famous in their circles for adult art and comics.

I mean, nothing wrong if you like it, but the current themes that are popular in the otaku porn market right now are /not/ themes that I find interesting or even very creative at the moment. Partly I figure it's just not my kinks, but partly also it's kind of a troubling undercurrent of the way that Japanese society is operating for the people who consume this media right now.
Apr 28, 2016 Scribbles commented on Vegans Are Worried That Bamboo Garden Is Serving Animal Products.
@28: I'm always quite amazed at the number of militant vegans who seem not to be able to grasp that the bees who produce honey ARE THE SAME BEES pollinating the country's fruit/vegetable/grain supply, and honeycombs do actually need to be emptied out and replaced to keep bees happy (their natural instincts are to build combs and store far more honey than they could ever conceivably use, due to possible predation). There flat-out aren't nearly enough wild bee populations that would take care of the sheer mass of plant doin' it that the agricultural industry needs for food production...beekeepers oversee their colonies' health and move the hives directly to locations that need pollination.
Feb 6, 2016 Scribbles commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Tall Order.
@17 I think literal cuddle, and or romance without the sex part. Asexuals don't necessarily want to completely avoid all physical/emotional intimacy, some may like closeness but they may just have little to no interest in actual sex acts. YMMV.
Dec 3, 2015 Scribbles commented on SL Letter of the Day: Sniff Sniff..
@14 Read closer, it says "company gym" in the letter.