Oct 28 bbbbbb commented on Savage Love.
To add to my previous post:

I searching various glossaries I found a few possibilities (but these may not be in common usage.):

Sexual orientation = Bi. and Affection orientation = Heterosexual


MSM -- Men who engage in same-sex behavior, but who may not necessarily self-identify as gay or bisexual.

Oct 28 bbbbbb commented on Savage Love.
“He claims that he has these urges only when he smokes marijuana.”

One possibility is the definition issue - he is not bi because he only wants relationships with women; men are just for fun and excitement. The pot helps him get the nerve to act and gives an excuse (to himself and others).

I'm not sure if there is a name for "I like sex with men and women, but I only want to marry a (wo)man." This is not "bi-curious" because it is past experimentation and is a known lifestyle/sexuality.
Jul 22 bbbbbb commented on Savage Love.
Suggestion for MONONA:

Get a prop that symbolizes ownership [collar, single ankle shackle,
necklace that says "property of ," symbolic bracelet, etc.].
When talking to people, always put in a comment that indicates that
she is sub to a specific master. That should make it clear to most
people that being propositioned is not welcome - then for the assholes
that do anyway, a firm "my master does not allow it." can be used.

This way, the natural sub doesn't have to be aggressive to fend off
advances, but any necessary aggressiveness is on behalf of their dom.

While the props might not be part of MONONA's lifestyle, I don't feel that
they are a lie - just a hint to avoid misunderstandings [think of it as the
coded nametag indicating "unavailable"].

Both my spouse and myself have used props and comments/stories
inserted into conversation to signal unavailability at times. We don't
feel it is dishonest as long as they are in line with our personalities even
though they are not things we would do in daily life.
Feb 20, 2013 bbbbbb commented on Savage Love.
For the gay strip club problem, first make sure that the groom would actually want to include that in the festivities.

As for the engagement ring - make one last attempt to avoid the expensive one. Try to find something silly/exotic/personal/etc. that would be special without being expensive.
My wife treasures her engagement ring - it took two dimes to get it when I went down on one knee to propose in the grocery store. She loves telling the story. [And I get to pipe in with the follow-up story about having to spend SEVEN dimes to get a replacement after she lost it.]
Jan 16, 2013 bbbbbb commented on Savage Love.
I agree that the blindfold is the best suggestion. [Just turning out the lights is even cheaper. Have him lie in the dark wearing "relax in the evening" clothes, come in, undress each other in the dark while kissing/groping, explore, and have sex.]

Remember that erotic is in the mind and props are just one way to excite the mind. The toys may be physically exciting, but the danger is becoming fixated on the toys/props/scenes instead of the partner - eventually, the partner can become just a prop holder and no longer a lover. The fact that you are lovers must drive whatever you do together.

Also, as for long time relationships getting monotonous, remember that if you communicate and pay attention to each other you get very good at doing exactly the position/move/joke/caress/etc. that excites them the most. I've been in a monogamous relationship for well over twenty-five years and most of what we do is what we discovered decades ago worked for us. We still try new things and joke about ridiculous (to us) possibilities, but usually we end up with the "boring" same old things because they work so well.

Jun 20, 2012 bbbbbb commented on Savage Love.
Dear BOOB,

I have the cutest puppy in the world and my girlfriend loves to play with him. I'm worried because when we walk in the park my girlfriend looks at the other dogs in the park - sometimes she even pets them! Does this mean that she doesn't love my puppy? Should I dump her now before she hurts my puppy?


My wife lets me look at other women's bodies (discretely) as much as I want, but I'm only allowed to play with hers. Same for her looking at other men's bodies.
Mar 10, 2010 bbbbbb answered a bunch of weird questions about himself or herself.
Mar 10, 2010 bbbbbb joined My Stranger Face
Mar 10, 2010 bbbbbb commented on Savage Love.
Michael Jr. is right about the first thing SAD needs to do. APOLOGIZE!

BUT, the comment:
"And that you're going to go to counseling and does he think he has the patience to bear with you for a while longer while you try to improve?"
is not quite right - while the offer for him to keep communication open if HE really wants to is OK, if he does, then there needs to be some joint counseling.

I had a long term relationship that had serious problems and we stayed in touch after the breakup. The most important thing is that she dealt with some personal problems and shared it with me. It was similar to counseling without a therapist. It helped me understand what happened and also helped me deal with some of my own issues that contributed to the relationship friction.