Hunter78
Baltimore
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Hunter78 is unwinding from work.
12:58 PM Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
A 5 word question, so much upset.
6:29 AM Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
Bi,

What is unusual is this wanting to pay reparations for "sins of the past". This is a guy who has changed his moral paradigm. Why? Feels himself now in a new social or economic group? Wants to please a new lover?

There was no sin of the past. Looking at free porn is morally no different than watching standard Youtube. The website operators aren't doing this out of charity-- they are supported by advertisers, and the advertisers paid for Spank's eyeballs. Do many websites not pay the porn stars for past efforts? Probably. Many stars contractually agreed to give up future payments. If not, they can seek compensation via the tort process.
3:48 AM Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
The Week in Review -- Guilt Ridden
3 Letters, weak response.

Spank-- 44yo het guy never paid for porn in his younger years. Now, in midlife, he wants to donate to porn workers. Conner Habib, writer and porn actor, was Dan's guespert.

Shrug-- Person with nearly 70yo dad is upset by dad's constant lascivious references to other women. How should they handle him?

Libidos-- 40+yo woman, 16y married, last 5y polyamorously. She has no desire for him, but enjoys fucking others. Hubby did have a gf, but now he has trouble getting any, and feels worse for her not wanting him. She is otherwise fine with their home life and marriage. What to do?

Interest in the welfare of porn workers invoked 0 interest among the commentariat. One would think that Spank's unusual guilt feelings would generate some discussion. A lot of support for shutting out Shrug's aging dad.

Apparently Dan's new strictures against sexless marriages does not apply when the wife is denying only the husband. A lot of commenters can not imagine maintaining a sexless marriage. I suggested separate bedrooms, but perhaps that's too manor-houseish for our DA-watching writers. Bi's disgust with the dishonesty of cheaters v the honesty of openly polyamorists wins the best theme of the week award.
More...
May 21 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
May 21 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
I didn't sign up to be his constant care-giver.
May 20 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
SB,

She kept up insisting that she should meet my wife, and I should meet her husband.

To me it sounds like she was trying to blend you into a buddy couple-- plenty of opportunity for the 2 of you to knock boots.

The probability that your wife and her hubby will hit it off is low-- they're just randos smacking together.

It speaks well of you that she is still strongly attracted to you (though probably not too healthy on her side). No signs she's been carousing around in 4-somes.
May 20 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
SB,

You seem to be withholding details in a Dan-ish manner. What makes you think she wanted a 4-some? From what you said, it seems she wanted you, just you.
May 18 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
Libidos,

Separate bedrooms.
May 18 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
Bi,

The typical woman would be more squicked by fucking an avowed polyamorist than by fucking a straying monogamist. The straying monogamist (ie monogamishist) is normal and thus like the typical woman herself, whereas an avowed polyamorist is odd, and, as others point out, not available as a potential committed mate.
May 17 Hunter78 commented on Savage Love.
NoCute,

Good point. Years ago I lobbied here to get user handles put at the front of the posts, so one could quickly skip over posts from people one wasn't interested in (Ankylosaur was one such poster who particularly bored me). When avatars became common, I figured it was time to be unhypocritical, and put up my own mug to warn people.

Funny though, often one can identify an unavatared poster from just the first few words. Like in the old days when one could identify a familiar phone caller from their first 1 or 2 words.