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Feb 18, 2016 ariane commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Ex Files.
Currently pregnant and have had a miscarriage - the hormones can do a real wahmmy on you, even if the miscarriage happens pretty early on.

Low odds of a pregnancy with an IUD doesn't mean she's lying, and waiting a while to tell him could just mean that its taking a lot longer for her system to re-normalize than she expected. I was at 7 weeks when I miscarried and it was a good 3 months to get back to about 90% emotionally stable - several of my friends who have aborted or miscarried took much longer, independent of the wanted/not-wanted pregnancy and confidence that the outcome was the right one. Just because a pregnancy wasn't wanted and an abortion was absolutely the right decision doesn't mean you get to escape the hormonal train wreck that can hit.

@64 - women who cycle pretty regularly, even if heavy, can notice a change of a few days on timing. I suspect I had what is called a chemical pregnancy where I was just a few days late, but the period was much heavier and crampier than my normal. A week after a missed period, the embryo is only about the size of a sesame seed so unlikely to get noticed, but 2 weeks later its up to a blueberry (around 1/2") which could be noticed on a pad. I also check my cervix as part of fertility monitoring and THAT is definitely different for me while pregnant too.
Aug 26, 2015 ariane commented on Matt Baume on the Raid.
@2 PayPal allows "Pay after delivery" which might be a good template
Aug 13, 2015 ariane commented on Emerging New Fetish: Ovipositors Getting Their Oviposit On.
From the initial interview, it sounds like they basically dissolve, meaning that kegels or a trip to the bathroom would eject the goop from your body:

Is there any danger in putting gelatin eggs up in your butt or vagina?
Everything in moderation. We are not doctors, and we're not about to comment on what is safe or unsafe to do to one's body as it varies from person to person. I can say that I have used them many times without hurting myself, but frankly it is up to the person using it to know their own limits. For instance, if you are allergic to gelatin. If made properly, the eggs are firm, but rubbery, similar to the consistency of gummy bears. They dissolve with body heat rather quickly.
Mar 27, 2015 ariane commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Complicated Threesome.
@49 - it also helps make the lining of the uterus less hospitable to implantation, so it does help somewhat there, too.
Mar 27, 2015 ariane commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Complicated Threesome.
If Plan B is 95% effective at preventing pregnancy when taken within 24 hours so 5% get pregnant, but your odds of conception at 30 are only about 17% to begin with, I'm wondering if this only really cuts your odds by about 70% - still a huge reduction in risk and nice to have a back up, but not as good as people think. Or am I off on my math?

Side note, if ever involved in 3-way, males practice withdrawl...
Mar 25, 2015 ariane commented on Savage Love.
PAUSE: while the rhythm method and Natural Family Planning (NFP) have some serious drawbacks as it's pretty inflexible on how it treats a fairly high variability system, some tuning to get you into the realm of Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) can get you into the high 90s for . If you are otherwise fluid bonded, having her take her temperature and check her cervical fluid and position can pretty easily highlight the 5-7 days per month of peak fertility where you should abstain from PIV or use another form of protection.

I use the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility ( in conjunction with a phone app called Fertility Friend to track my cycle - we were on the baby making side of things, but there are instructions for pregnancy prevention methodologies and as we are on a pause before trying again/more, we have continued to use tracking + condom during peak fertility and I'm not worried about getting pregnant. We will also likely continue this after the next pregnancy and avoid hormones as my system is pretty clear about my fertile times. Then again, We have been together for nearly a decade and another kid would be welcome, even if the timing is not ideal...

SfR - I'm sensitive to spermicide and the reaction is no bueno... very like a yeast infection. Itchy itchy! Glad your system is friendlier with it.
Mar 2, 2015 ariane commented on Anti-Gay Bigots Discover Surprising New Cure for Homosexuality.
@DenguyFL that is an amazing list.
Nov 6, 2014 ariane commented on SL Letter of the Day: Adventurous Parents.
My kid is 2 1/2 now but we had a bit of this going on a few years ago. Kids were discussed when my now husband and I were dating with conversations as in "I'd like to have kids at some point, you?" "yeah, eventually" and a few years later adding a time frame of "before I'm 30" which was punted slightly due to life crap.

When we were starting to get close to the timeframe for chucking the birth control, he spooked. Not that he didn't still want kids with me, but now was "too soon." Several very frustrating months of arguments about other stuff and we eventually drilled down to the fact that he wasn't sure if he would ever "feel ready" and a conversation with his brother who already had kids let him know that he might not feel ready, but he would be ready when it was time.

We did the same ringamarole before starting to try for the second, as yet pending, last year. While I agree that life is a lot more complicated with one kid, and I'm sure it will be worse with 2, that doesn't stop it from being an adventure. Our daughter has been hiking, to the beach, to museums, etc. and we have plans for Europe and Asia in the near future (those are pending timing of kid 2, though). It changes how hard you have to work, but a sitter/friend/family member for an evening and a hotel room can go a long way towards keeping the adventures.

Finally, my parents several times sent me off to stay with relatives for a week or more, and then when I was older there was overnight summer camps. I don't expect our adventures to stop just because we are parents, just have to work around naps and early bed times for a while!
Sep 9, 2014 ariane commented on SL Letter of the Day: You Can't Please Everybody.
umpteenth (female) voice for "I'm a feminist and I watch porn." My husband and I have watched together for years and I fairly regularly watch solo when I masturbate. My main concern with him is that my tastes are so much less vanilla that we sometimes have trouble finding something that we will both enjoy!
Apr 4, 2014 ariane commented on SL Letter of the Day: Resources and Support?.
bookmarking that link for later reference. My relatively vanilla spouse would likely not indulge me, but I'm OK with fantasy!