commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Complicated Threesome
If Plan B is 95% effective at preventing pregnancy when taken within 24 hours so 5% get pregnant, but your odds of conception at 30 are only about 17% to begin with, I'm wondering if this only really cuts your odds by about 70% - still a huge reduction in risk and nice to have a back up, but not as good as people think. Or am I off on my math?
Side note, if ever involved in 3-way, males practice withdrawl...
commented on Savage Love
PAUSE: while the rhythm method and Natural Family Planning (NFP) have some serious drawbacks as it's pretty inflexible on how it treats a fairly high variability system, some tuning to get you into the realm of Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) can get you into the high 90s for . If you are otherwise fluid bonded, having her take her temperature and check her cervical fluid and position can pretty easily highlight the 5-7 days per month of peak fertility where you should abstain from PIV or use another form of protection.
I use the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility (http://amzn.com/0060881909
) in conjunction with a phone app called Fertility Friend to track my cycle - we were on the baby making side of things, but there are instructions for pregnancy prevention methodologies and as we are on a pause before trying again/more, we have continued to use tracking + condom during peak fertility and I'm not worried about getting pregnant. We will also likely continue this after the next pregnancy and avoid hormones as my system is pretty clear about my fertile times. Then again, We have been together for nearly a decade and another kid would be welcome, even if the timing is not ideal...
SfR - I'm sensitive to spermicide and the reaction is no bueno... very like a yeast infection. Itchy itchy! Glad your system is friendlier with it.
Nov 6, 2014
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Adventurous Parents
My kid is 2 1/2 now but we had a bit of this going on a few years ago. Kids were discussed when my now husband and I were dating with conversations as in "I'd like to have kids at some point, you?" "yeah, eventually" and a few years later adding a time frame of "before I'm 30" which was punted slightly due to life crap.
When we were starting to get close to the timeframe for chucking the birth control, he spooked. Not that he didn't still want kids with me, but now was "too soon." Several very frustrating months of arguments about other stuff and we eventually drilled down to the fact that he wasn't sure if he would ever "feel ready" and a conversation with his brother who already had kids let him know that he might not feel ready, but he would be ready when it was time.
We did the same ringamarole before starting to try for the second, as yet pending, last year. While I agree that life is a lot more complicated with one kid, and I'm sure it will be worse with 2, that doesn't stop it from being an adventure. Our daughter has been hiking, to the beach, to museums, etc. and we have plans for Europe and Asia in the near future (those are pending timing of kid 2, though). It changes how hard you have to work, but a sitter/friend/family member for an evening and a hotel room can go a long way towards keeping the adventures.
Finally, my parents several times sent me off to stay with relatives for a week or more, and then when I was older there was overnight summer camps. I don't expect our adventures to stop just because we are parents, just have to work around naps and early bed times for a while!
Sep 9, 2014
commented on SL Letter of the Day: You Can't Please Everybody
umpteenth (female) voice for "I'm a feminist and I watch porn." My husband and I have watched together for years and I fairly regularly watch solo when I masturbate. My main concern with him is that my tastes are so much less vanilla that we sometimes have trouble finding something that we will both enjoy!