Right being you, Charlene!
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Apr 18, 2012 cyranothe2nd commented on Savage Love.
Uh...yeah, people under 80 use lube for vaginal sex. Are you new to sex? Or just bad at it?
Feb 29, 2012 cyranothe2nd commented on SL Letter of the Day: Breaking Bad.
Why is everyone assuming that "engaged in oral" means he only had oral sex performed on him? If he went down on a girl, he could have exposed himself.
Dec 7, 2011 cyranothe2nd commented on Savage Love.
HARD, I grew up as a fundy xian. I'm a Domme now. It's possible to overcome the brainwashing and shame, but it takes work. I would suggest Margaret Windell's book, "Leaving the Fold." It's written by a psychologist and has a lot of helpful exercises.
As far as the kink being a response to the guilt and shame...maybe. But maybe not. As it's still possible to be psychologically free from all that baggage and maintain your kinks.
I do.
Nov 14, 2011 cyranothe2nd commented on SL Letter of the Day: We've Heard This Song Before.
@1 I don't think LW meant it that way. I took from that that this was proof on his wife's assertion that sex was too much trouble.
Oct 26, 2011 cyranothe2nd commented on SL Letter of the Day: Who's the Slave?.
@ Erica--I'm not saying it's not a constructed role or even that ppl can't do TPE 24/7 and not negotiate every single thing. BUT if you decided tomorrow that you no longer wanted to submit to your husband, you would say "I'm not doing this anymore." Or you would leave him. In that sense, it's play. It's fun, it's great, but you aren't "really" a slave (and I really wish we could find another word for this because the history of slavery and racism in this country makes this word uncomfortable for me...but that's a totally different conversation). I'm not really a Master because at the end of the day, I have to respect my sub's limits and desires or I'm basically a rapist/abuser. I won't really MAKE him do what I want. I might threaten to but, if he really doesn't want to, I would never make him. That's why I'm saying it's a game. Because we all go into it with the underlying understanding that any partner could re-negotiate or just plain pull out if they want to. In that sense, my sub and I are totally equal (even if we act like we aren't).
Oct 26, 2011 cyranothe2nd commented on Savage Love Episode 258.
How hard is is to understand--if someone is drunk, THEY CANNOT GIVE CONSENT.

The handmove isn't force, though. Unless he actually forced her to do it (ie, she said no). BUT it does highlight the concern that we need to be in a "yes means yes" society, where men get consent, rather than a "no means no" society, where women have to protest.
Oct 26, 2011 cyranothe2nd commented on SL Letter of the Day: Who's the Slave?.
@18-- interesting. In addition, there is the knowledge that it is, really, just play. I mean, my sub and I don't really do non-kinky sex (although we do make time for friends/boyfriend stuff) but there is always the knowledge at the back of my mind that this is just pretend, that he is my equal really, no matter what we play at.

@5--Female dommes are hard to come by and it makes us a hot commodity when we're looking for partners ;). In my experience, the ratio of male Doms/female subs seems about equal.

@11--my sub is a switch but he's submissive to me. I think for most switches, it depends on the person they are with. Some ppl make them want to submit, some ppl make them want to be dominant. I know some switch couples that genuinely change roles with each encounter but that's rare.

Finally as @13 said, subs bring a lot of things to the table in terms of scriptwriting scenes, laying down hints or just getting naked and sticking their ass into the air with a 'Spank me, Master" sign attached (yes, my sub has done this *g*). I think M/s dynamics might be different but in our D/s relationship, my sub initiates just about as much as I do.
Oct 3, 2011 cyranothe2nd commented on "That's so Mormon.".
Waht the LW is saying is true. I actually interviewed an ex-Mormon about suicide, depression and the way the church dealt with mental illness and it was...terrible. Basically, while the church publicly endorses mental healthcare, privately believers are told that they aren't good enough/faithful enough and that their depression is a result of not being right with God. No wonder they have such a high suicide rate!

Dan, I propose changing "That's so Mormon" to "That's so fundy." That way, we can strike back at those that are actually behind this kind of shit---Biblical literalists who condemn homosexuality on the basis of taking an ancient misogynistic, racist book to be literally true.
Sep 2, 2011 cyranothe2nd commented on SL Letter of the Day: A Friendly Amendment to CPOS Rule.
"Sugar Baby" *puke*
Sep 2, 2011 cyranothe2nd commented on Christian Singing Group at a State University Votes to Kick Gay Singer Out.
BRB, telling everyone I know about this bullshit.

Also, I'm the faculty advisor for an RSO on our campus (not UNC but the rules are pretty standard for all universities) and this club should absolutely lose university standing and funding for their discrimination against this student. Their whole defense is that they didn't kick him our for being gay, just for ~choosing~ to be gay (which makes no sense and is absolutely about BEING GAY)..if they want to hold these beliefs, fine. They don't get to use university funds (ie, taxpayer money) to do so.