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Aug 9, 2014 donaisabelle commented on SL Letter of the Day: Hot Tip For CRUD.
Personally, I find using a vibrator during sex frustrating, even though I try to use it because I also have difficultly orgasming through sex alone. Either the vibrator's setting is too low that I can barely feel it, or it's too high and it's numbing and I can't even really feel or enjoy the sex that's happening. Also, the constant movement makes it so I can't really get a steady build doing on my clit (when I masturbate with a vibrator, I'm very still, and even then it's still hard for me), so I end up just getting more frustrated than I would if I wasn't using it at all.

It's like... if I can't get off during just sex, I feel like that's normal, and a lot of other women are that way. But if I can't even get off with sex *and* a vibrator, I just feel broken.
Apr 24, 2014 donaisabelle commented on SL Letter of the Day: Unknown and Unfamiliar.
Is anyone else not catching that she's 20 now, and has been dating this guy fro two years, which would have made her 18. And before she started dating him, when she was 18, she had been fucking randos from Craigslist long enough for it to qualify as a "history." So she was almost definitely underage when she was doing this. That is... not great.
Dec 3, 2013 donaisabelle commented on SL Letter of the Day: Partners Still.
It's a little baffling that she could accuse him of "cheating" with his friend, because she means that she believes he went outside the bounds of marriage... but isn't absolutely refusing *any* emotional or physical intimacy whatsoever to your partner just as much of a violation of your marriage? Isn't the traditional idea of monogamous marriage supposed to be that you don't get any romantic or sexual intimacy outside of your marriage because you get it *inside* of your marriage?
Feb 12, 2013 donaisabelle commented on Savage Love.
If he wants to make sure that he can have a sex talk with his son that has a lot of the gay sex areas covered, but without trying to out his son before he's ready, he could just frame them in straight contexts. The good practices that apply to anal sex with a man are the same as with a woman, etc. Or he could just make it as gender neutral as possible, and only use the word "partner," and try to leave "he" and "she" out of it as much as possible.
Nov 10, 2010 donaisabelle commented on Savage Love.
Perhaps lube isn't an option because she's allergic to the most common types of lubes, and isn't aware that there are other types if she only looks hard enough.
Sep 29, 2010 donaisabelle commented on SL Letter of the Day: Don't Santorum Me!.
I knew someone in high school whose brother's name was Randy Wenker.
Aug 20, 2010 donaisabelle commented on Buh-Bye.
My boyfriend, who is a feminist and socialist, and has a younger sister (actually, he's about to take a major national role in a socialist organization) watches porn. And he's great in bed.
Also, to suggest that porn intrinsically is coercive (although some, maybe most, is, there's plenty that isn't) implies that women cannot possibly fully consent to or enjoy being filmed having sex. How is that idea empowering to women to make their own choices and fully express their sexuality? Banning porn as a rule is an anti-feminist view.
Jul 8, 2010 donaisabelle commented on SL Letter of the Day: Confronting the Young Closet Case.
It's possible that his mancrush is platonic, or that he's possibly just jealous of a man he would like to be *like,* but not necessarily *with.* I often find myself inordinantly staring at certain women (I'm a girl), not because I'm attracted to them, but because I wished I looked like them/acted like them/had their charm/etc. So I agree with @38 that a good approach would be to call out the staring without attributing a reason to it. After all, it's not necessarily his attraction that causes the discomfort, but the particular actions.
May 15, 2010 donaisabelle commented on SL Letter of the Day: Boy Toys.
If even giving him a gift card to a specific sex toy site is awkward enough, you could always give him one of those credit card gift cards. Along with it, you could tell him "I'm not telling you you *have* to buy a safe toy with this, but I *am* telling you that if I find out that you've used an unsafe household item even though you had this money I gave you to buy something safe, you will be in trouble." Parents are supposed to protect their children from unsafe things, and even punish them for doing those unsafe things. In this case, it would not interfere with being sex-positive - it would just mean that you're colon-puncturing-negative.
May 15, 2010 donaisabelle joined My Stranger Face