Dec 18, 2013 tau commented on Savage Love.
I sometimes wonder how much stereotypical straight male marriage reluctance might be better characterized as "wedding reluctance".

Maybe you should ask your boyfriend if any of his ambivalence about proposing and getting married comes from a lack of desire to engage in extended and expensive Gender Role Performance Theatre.

Maybe if you suggested an elopement (city hall wedding! no guests, no fuss! celebration at a later time if at all!) you would get a different response. Maybe not, of course, but it's probably worth a shot.
Oct 29, 2013 tau commented on What Are Your Norman Rockwell Feelings?.
I choose option 6: "This poll is everything annoying about The Stranger"

Rockwell had amazingly-developed skill (more skill than most of us have at anything) and put it to a use that he apparently thought appropriate, and that kept himself and his family in reasonable comfort. He is one of the best-know artists (or illustrators) in American history, and has probably had a greater impact on American culture than most people will ever have.

I don't have to think that he was a genius or that his work was full of under-appreciated "cleverness" to acknowledge that this is true. I don't even have to particularly like his work.

Now back to our regularly-scheduled sneering.
Oct 10, 2013 tau commented on SLLOTD: Maladjusted Shits.
@147 I'm not sure why you think the lack of discussions about sex on your first dates is even relevant. "This has never happened on a first date involving me, therefore anyone who does it is creepily obsessed with sex."


Asexuals can delude themselves that they are being rejected as a whole person rather than because of the sex, but it's a delusion. It doesn't matter if it happens on the first date or on the tenth date or after a year.

Anyways, in my own days of dating, my (very effective) screening tool for asexuals and people with hangups about sex and people who were not very sexually interested in me and people I was not that sexually interested in was that I would not keep seeing a person for more than a few dates if we had not had mutually enthusiastic sex. Problem solved.
Oct 9, 2013 tau commented on SLLOTD: Maladjusted Shits.
I think asexuals are fooling themselves if they think that a sexual person just needs a chance to get to know how great the asexual is in other ways, and then the sexual person will totally enjoy a long-term, rewarding, romantic relationship with the asexual.

Seriously, this argument is laughable.

What pretty much everyone wants in a romantic partner at a bare minimum is someone who feels sexual desire for one. Stating over and over again that given time, a person might decide she'd rather be in a relationship with someone who does not sexually desire her but tells awesome jokes or something is just stupid.

Also, someone expressing interest on a first date in eventually having sex isn't "creepily obsessed with sex". That person is maybe somewhat indelicate. But I can see how a normal person might seem creepily obsessed with sex to an asexual. Consider this: we're pretty much all like that. Might be better to stay away.
Oct 9, 2013 tau commented on Savage Love.
"Anal rosebudding" looks a lot like "rectal prolapse". That's an injury, can severely interfere with normal life, and often requires surgical correction. WTF. People do this on purpose?
Oct 8, 2013 tau commented on John Boehner's Self-Pity Party Is Still Going Strong.
I wish someone would bring a resolution to the floor declaring the office of Speaker vacant. Anyone can do it. The Republicans who want a clean CR passed + the Democrats would be more than enough votes.
Oct 2, 2013 tau commented on The Wednesday Morning News Involves the Goodness of Exercise Over Pills.
The US Preventative Services Task Force recommends against teaching Breast Self Exam on the information that the risks (of false cancer scares) outweigh the benefits for most women. They also make no recommendation about the Clinical Breast Exam because there is insufficient evidence about whether any benefit exists.

Mammography is recommended for women aged 50-74. It is < 73% of these women, according to the article, who are getting their 'recommended check', a mammogram. It is not accurate that only 73% of us are getting our breasts checked when we 100% of us should.
Oct 1, 2013 tau commented on Slog Poll: Getting Over the Beast Cold/Flu.
Most pathogens do best in an environment slightly cooler than that of the normal human body. Immune cells do best at a temperature slightly higher than the normal human body. That's why (simplified) we get fevers.

So with that in mind, warming up your head is a good idea; hot liquid (tea, broth, &c) can help with that. Also helps symptomatic relief.

I read a paper at some point discussing how pretty much all remedies for the head cold perform no better than placebo, with the exception of nasal and sinus lavage (which improves recovery time). That's the science name for neti-pot. There are instructions online all over, but if I remember right the important thing is to use warm sterile physiologic saline and do it once or twice a day while sick (not more often, and not as a preventive measure; there is no benefit and some harm associated with those).
Sep 23, 2013 tau commented on Just Going to Toss This One Up....
Well... the DSM online uses "his or her" pronouns, which suggests that fetishism is not limited to men. (Some other sexual disorders are quite specifically limited to men, with statements like "this diagnosis is used for heterosexual men who...." which makes it seem likely that DSM would say so if it wanted to restrict fetishes to men.)

Then again, the DSM specifies that the term "fetish" when used technically really means that the person cannot become aroused at all without the object in question, which does not really sound like the way people tend to use the term in Savage Love land.
Aug 28, 2013 tau commented on Okay, YOU GUYS ARE GROSS.
My ex wore holes through sturdy cotton sheets... because dirt building up between the fibers increases the wear rate, you understand. I believe he may have washed them occasionally, but I'd be shocked if it were more than twice a year.

When I expressed my horror, he said that it had never been a problem before with the polyester sheets he bought for himself; it was only the cotton sheets I got for him that were the problem.