AllisonM
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Jul 23, 2015 AllisonM commented on Teenagers Having Less Sex, Popping More Morning-After Pills.
@15 Bedsider has a series of pretty good videos. And I am a little dubious about Plan B's greatness as a plan A. It basically floods your system with hormone to put the brakes on ovulation. Odds of you pending ovulation at any given day are pretty low, and you're likely just throwing a dose of irrelevant hormone into your system. Who really knows what that does? The combo pill was out for what, 60 years before the medical establishment broke down and admitted that it kills libido. The IUD is being pushed pretty hard lately, and they don't even know how it works at all. They think it destroys or immobilizes sperm, after years of thinking it prevented implantation. I am old enough to remember when the insert that came with your pills said they worked that way as well. Also old enough to remember that you could use a week's worth of Ortho Tri Cyclen as Plan B. The internet wasn't invented yet, so the exact dosage was a matter of urban legend. The more things change the more they stay the same, eh?
Mar 11, 2015 AllisonM commented on Savage Love.
And if she has been diagnosed with depression and isn't taking her medication, he should bring that up in court when custody is discussed.
Mar 11, 2015 AllisonM commented on Savage Love.
@43, I thought maybe she went to the doc about her libido and "depression" and the doc probably suggested diet and exercise. But if she does actually have depression, I'd still tend to agree with the consensus that a companionate marriage isn't the answer, here. I like being honest about it and getting the divorce, and maybe the ultimatum will work and maybe not. He's got nothing to really lose by giving it that last shot, though. If she does have depression, she probably gets prescribed a pill. And I hope he does go for at least joint custody, if it doesn't work out.
Mar 11, 2015 AllisonM commented on Savage Love.
Besides, nobody really wants to change. Most people do it because they have to. Factor is whether staying married to him motivates her. He's got to put that on the line to find out.
Mar 11, 2015 AllisonM commented on Savage Love.
I hear that, too @35. I get frequency falling off and all, but for her to go completely sexless on him says she couldn't care less, is a total sad sack, or both. But they do have kids, and owe it their best shot for that reason.
Mar 11, 2015 AllisonM commented on Savage Love.
I'm not seeing where Blueball's wife has depression, just that she feels depressed, which when worded that way sounds more like a general purpose excuse. Like other people, I'm not really seeing the value in a companionate marriage in this situation. This guy is really young, and is 100% going to meet someone more appealing once he picks himself up and starts looking. If I were this wife, I'd prefer the ultimatim. Its more honest, and has more respect for her agency. Something about the prevailing dialogue on this issue bugs me. True that women of the older generation were raised to beleive that attraction comes from personality and good-husband characteristics like domestic help and wind up married to these guys that are great on paper but that they don't want sex with. But that dosn't mean they'll be relieved to be left alone, with him getting it elsewhere, or are incapeable of learning from mistakes and figuring out how to do better. In any event, if BB's wife loves him, she needs to work harder. Its in her interest, and the kids, too. He shouldn't let her off the hook with less than her best effort.
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Dec 27, 2014 AllisonM commented on Rush Limbaugh Says Casting Idris Elba as James Bond Would Be Like Casting Scarlett Johansson as Condoleezza Rice.
Why would you publicize Rush Limbaugh? Now I know this bizarre bit of drivel, and I read it on The Stranger. Possibly, you're having a hard time filling your slot here with your own content, or what?
Dec 26, 2014 AllisonM commented on Savage Love.
Of course, short guys could seek out short women. I have two friends around 4"11. One of them married a guy about my height, and he mentioned how much he liked that their height differential made him look taller- literally he said it made them look like his tall buddies and their girls. I'd never noticed he was short until he said that, for what its worth. I am 5"6, which is nice for being able to appreciate a variety of guy heights, but guys who are over 6"2 or so are a literal pain in the neck to kiss. You can't put your arm around them without it looking awkward. Also, you can't have a natural conversation standing up because your heads are too far apart. So, short guys may be less attractive to some women, but other women your height or less might give you an advantage. Think of it in the words of a country song:

Oh, I ain't first class, but I ain't white trash

I'm wild and a little crazy, too.

Some girls don't like boys like me...

Ahhh, but some girls do!
Dec 16, 2014 AllisonM commented on SL Letter of the Day: Settle or Divorce?.
This will sound contrarian, but perhaps more therapy isn't always helpful. Perhaps much of whats a available in therapy out there isn't very good, or requires too much effort to be successful. Maybe she settles for herself and gives herself permission to stop introspecting and seeking answers from therapists and advice columnists and other self-professed or legitimate gurus and just be.